(Closed) Would you dump your SO if he wore these shoes?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
9974 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

They look like bedroom slippers.  But, heck no, I’d never leave someone over something as dumb as shoes.  Unless he wore them on our first date and I’d have said no to a second date.

The two of you seem to have some major communication issues going on here.  The shoes are just pointing out to both of you your passive-aggressive way of dealing with each other.  Not so healthy.  You slammed a door in his face and gave him the silent treatment about this?  Pretty.

My gut feeling is this man feels you are overly controlling of him and he purposely bought those shoes as a not-so-subtle slap in your face.  You need to do some soul searching here.  Are you overly controlling with him?  Why do you think he’s doing something that he certainly knows will drive you away?  He is sending you a clear message, try to decipher it. 

Post # 18
Member
1709 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

Okay, those shoes are really, really ugly.  I get why you wouldn’t want him to wear them.  But you really slammed the door in his face and left without him?  C’mon…that is over-reacting, IMO.

Post # 19
Member
13890 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

They’re definitely not my taste, but I don’t base my relationship on his attire choices.  So no… I wouldn’t dump him over a pair of shoes.

Your reaction seems a bit over the top to me, to be honest.  It’s his money to spend, and if chose to spend $500 on a pair of not so nice shoes, that’s his decision.

Post # 20
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Wow… Ummm..Those are something. I thought mine was bad- he has those running shoes by nike that are bright yellow green. I’ve learned to live with them. Of course I make sure to wear my fleur de lis rain boots that he hates at every opportunity. 

Post # 21
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

I wouldn’t dump Fiance if he wore clown shoes.

I might, however, get a new puppy.

Post # 22
Member
1402 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I think they’re pretty cool, sorry.

Post # 23
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

I would be more concerned that he thought they were worth $500 because they’re super ugly. haha. And of course I wouldn’t dump anyone over a pair of shoes. Really? Not that big of a deal.

Post # 24
Member
4504 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@JennaWade:  Ha, those are really terrible shoes, and for nearly $500… yikes! This style of shoe has suddenly become popular in NYC, I’ve noticed, and yeah, they’re REALLY expensive. And hideous. But they’re his shoes. As long as he didn’t raid the family nest egg to buy them, it’s all good. I’d say this entitles you to a pair of expensive footwear, too!

Post # 25
Member
6040 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

@JennaWade:  also, can you tell me the brand of shoe? I would like to google these because there is no way those are $495 dollar shoes. Im just curious…

Post # 26
Member
1551 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Umm..ok, so I totally don’t get the shoes.  Maybe he just has a quirky sense of style or he finds humor in them?  But slamming the door in his face and going out without him because you don’t like his shoes?  I think what you  need to do is apologize for totally overreacting.

Post # 27
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@Birdee106:  Somewhat of a side topic, I would be upset if my SO spent $500 on anything without discussing it with me first. Something as impratical as those shoes would bring my irate feelings to an entirely new level. 

I felt guilty when I spent $150-$200 on natural supplements. I called Darling Husband right away afterwards and he laughed and told me it was okay. If it was $200 on shoes I would have gotten a different reaction although DH spends $85 on his Nikes every 3-6 months. I am totally okay with that one though.

Post # 28
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

Those are AWFUL shoes, but not a deal breaker, I figured the title is a little facetious. 

By the sounds of it he liked the shoes when he first bought them, but now he LOVES them because it gets a reaction from you.  Guys love to push our buttons just to see how we react.  Quit giving him what he’s looking for and the shoes will magically make their way to the back of the closet and make way for more practical shoes. 

Post # 29
Member
1680 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

After reading your post, I was honestly expecting something MUCH worse. If a pair of shoes is enough reason to sever a relationship.. maybe you two aren’t a very good fit to be together anyways.

Post # 30
Member
3307 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

No doubt about it the shoes are ghastly and the fact that they were $495 proves that there’s a sucker born every minute.  But I think you would get him to wear them less if you just ignored them.  It’s not worth a break up, In My Humble Opinion.

Post # 31
Member
11744 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Absolutely! My FI’s shoes are the glue that keeps our relationship together, so if he exercised such poor taste in shoe purchases, I’m sure our relationship would be destined to fail.  It’s right up there with cheating.

Are you kidding, OP? I’d be pissed if my Fiance spent $500 on any pair of shoes, ugly or not. However, in my book it’s not quite dump-worthy.  

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