Would you end a new relationship if he was a mean drunk?

posted 3 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
3592 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

This is absolutely a red flag and a deal breaker. Don’t waste any more time on him. 

Post # 3
4113 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Hell yes. None of that is acceptable 

Post # 4
2856 posts
Sugar bee

Oh holy hell! You did the right thing cutting him off! Not only is he a vile drunk, he then gaslights you when sober. You owe him nothing and I’m glad you didn’t sleep with him! You dodged a massive bullet with this disgusting person.

Post # 5
1584 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@anonbee58:  Yes. Alcohol removes inhibitions: it doesn’t change who a person is fundamentally. Furthermore, someone in their late 30s should not be binge drinking on the weekends to the point of memory loss. Finally, he was sober when, instead of apologizing, he defensively charged you with being too “negative or sensitive”.

Post # 6
8195 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Uh you should be glad things didn’t go any further, he sounds like half a step away from becoming physically abusive while drunk! None of the things he said are even close to acceptable. 

Post # 7
7650 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Nope. Deal-breaker. For anyone who works professionally in ANY capacity, going to someone’s door in their underwear is a potentially career-ending move, and I wouldn’t tolerate this sort of behavior from a man that age. Ridiculous. So you go ahead and be your “negative and over sensitive” self, and avoid a lifetime of hurt from staying with a binge-drinking abusive assh*le.

Post # 9
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

What the actual fuck! This guy should be too much of a complete asshole for anyone, LET ALONE someone for whom drinking is a dealbreaker. It’s your deal. He’s breaking it. NEXT!

Post # 10
574 posts
Busy bee

One more “oh hell no”.

If the drunken name-calling and visciousness weren’t enough, then blaming YOU when you confronted him.  Good dodge on that bullet, and sorry you’ll have to see him on your commute when it resumes.

Post # 11
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

Girl no. This guy is abusive (and manipulative) even when he’s sober. Cut all ties. This is the type of behavior that warrants a restraining order.

Post # 12
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Ew the most disturbing part about all this is how he isn’t even embarrassed in the slightest. You were right in saying you don’t want to see him again. Run and never look back…

Post # 13
1282 posts
Bumble bee

HELL NO. There’s a reason he’s still single and you’re seeing that loud and clear. What a psycho. Cut him off. And try stay strong and chat to some friends, none of his behaviour is a reflection on you xoxox

Post # 14
2725 posts
Sugar bee

Woah. This isn’t even about the drinking (which is itself very worrisome-not trying to downplay that), it’s about him being a verbally abusive man child who showed his true colors by violating your boundaries and putting you down in a really ugly way. You are absolutely doing the right thing and calling him “a mean drunk” is a massive understatement. This guy needs a lot of help and I’m so glad you caught this early and can get out. I’d make sure neighbors know what’s going on before he starts badmouthing you to everyone. 

Post # 15
1265 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I think the only emotion you need to be experiencing right now is a tremendous sense of relief.  Dude sounds twisted AF and you should be thanking whatever diety you worship that you discovered it before getting more enmeshed.

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