- 3 months ago
This was much longer than intended so thank you if you made it to the end!
I’m mostly writing this because I’m so disappointed and just a fluster of emotions today. A bit of background – there are a handful of apartment complexes on the street where I live, and since most of the residents have been under stay at home orders, I’ve gotten to know people that have lived next door for years but our paths have never crossed. There’s now a small group of residents that get together a couple times a week to hang out, and it’s made staying at home a little easier. One of the people in the group is a man I see on my daily commute (when I’m commuting) but we’ve never interacted before aside from a cordial good morning. For the past month, we’ve been seeing each other, but taking things slowly as we live not far from each other and we want to avoid a messy situation down the road. We haven’t slept with each other, but we’ve become quite close and spend lots of time together.
Straight away, it seemed to be going well. He had a list of things he talked about pretty fast – kids, buying a home, his dealbreakers. I am in my early 30s and he is in his late 30s so I assume it’s just as well to get it all out in the open. So I shared with him my singular dealbreaker – drinking. I grew up around alcoholics and it’s something I can’t deal with. I will have a drink on special occasions, or occasionally at a sporting event or something, but for the most part, I don’t even socially drink. I had BAD experiences as a child. Things like sitting up all night to make sure family members didn’t choke on their vomit. It’s just something I can’t be around. He works in psychiatry and said that while he was guilty of drinking too much on weekends, he understood where I was coming from, he saw enough of the things I described at work, he could get it under control.
Well, apparently not. For the past two weekends, he has made my life a nightmare. We agreed to not speak on the weekends while he is drinking with friends, but obviously when he drinks he’s too drink to remember what we agreed on. Last weekend I went out to run an errand for an elderly neighbor and he blew up and accused me of sleeping with someone else. And yesterday, he showed up outside my apartment at 2 in the morning in his underwear and started shouting. I didn’t respond and then I got a slew of angry texts. Some of the highlights: I’m a bitch, I’m an unfeeling slut, I should move the f*uck out of my apartment so he never has to see my again, I’m going to die alone, no man will ever put up with going without sex for 3 weeks, I’m crazy because I don’t drink, I’m the craziest b*itch he’s ever met, his friends have told him he deserves better and on and on and on.
And as I type this, I’m embarrassed and humiliated. Because my only option is to just cut this guy out of my life cold turkey because he’s a nutjob, but the stuff he said was so mean that I just feel horrible today. But I’m too old for this nonsense.
This morning I was outside helping my neighbor when he came over and acted as if nothing had happened. I told him I have no interest in seeing him again and he was legitimately taken aback, telling me I’m so negative and sensitive, and how could the things he said when he was drunk negate a month of good things. And honestly, I don’t know how he even works in psychiatry because yikes.
I just really needed to vent. Any words of encouragement are very much appreciated today. Thanks for reading if you made it to the end of this mini drama.