Would you end a new relationship if he was a mean drunk?

posted 3 months ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
2724 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@anonbee58:  as someone who HAS been called awful things like this in quick succession by an alcoholic and abusive parent, let me tell you that I know it’s really hard not to take such horrible things personally. But it’s really not about you, it’s about the instability and defensiveness of the person saying them. 

Post # 32
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee

It’s really unfortunate he knows where you live…do you have any pepper spray on you? 

I know it hurts to be called names like that but you made the right call. at least you didn’t waste much time getting to see this side of him. Thankfully you’re not three years in and just finding out he’s a fucking wackjob 

 

Post # 33
Member
315 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

You sound awesome, he sounds like a soggy piece of lettuce.

I would film him every time he gets close, save texts, voicemails etc. He needs help, and not sex so he can morph into a good guy…. wow, just when I thought I’d heard it all. What are we seven, who the fuck has that worked on in the past sir?

 You’ve got this!

Post # 34
Member
265 posts
Helper bee

Would you end a new relationship if he was a mean drunk?

 

Yes! I don’t even have to read your post. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Post # 37
Member
3026 posts
Sugar bee

Am I the only one thinking it’s completely irresponsible to be hanging around with people you don’t live with during stay at home orders?!!?

To answer your question, yes, you need to get away from that guy fast.

Post # 38
Member
1153 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

He sounds terribly unstable! You’ve been dating for a month and a few drinks in with you not even around his inclination is to harass and stalk you and say terrible things to you… He had to have read the text messages in the morning… even if he had sent flowers and was mortified it would be a hard pass but to verbally attack you and call you negative and sensitive..while sober. This is beyond!

Block on every social media channel and check your locks and windows!

 

Post # 39
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t even need to read the post.  On title alone…

There’s no such thing as “just” a mean drunk.

Mean drunk = mean sober, just with better faculties to hide the raging bullshit underneath during periods of sobriety

Post # 40
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

1) block him

2) never speak to him again

3) record him if he shows up outside your home again.

4) screenshot and email yourself & a friend proof of his prior behavior, including & especially you telling him you do not want to speak to him again.

This guy shouldn’t be able to call you names or psychoanalyze you anymore. Thank goodness you dodged a bullet!

Post # 41
Member
1740 posts
Bumble bee

Bee, I would let your neighbors who live around you, your family, and your friends know what’s going on with this guy and keep them in the loop with further developments. He sounds absolutely unhinged and I worry for your safety given he knows where you live. It’s alarming how quickly this guy’s behaviour has escalated given you’ve only been hanging out together for a short period of time.

Post # 42
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Yikes and now you know why this guy is still single in his late 30’s. I also second keeping a record of everything crazy he has texted you and video anything he does if he shows up again. I’d make it clear to him that the relationship was over because of his toxic behavior period. Then let him know that you wanted no more contact with him ever again. Then if he harassed you, you have proof to show the police that you left no room for confusion that he wasn’t to contact you again. Then block him. 

If his behavior continued to escalate I would consider reporting him to his job. 

Post # 43
Member
1635 posts
Bumble bee

This is a total dealbreaker for me!  There are far better men out there than this guy.  Avoid this guy altogether – he sounds like a total nut job.  Try to find another way to commute to work if you can – can you go a little earlier or later to avoid running into him? And don’t give him the time of day if he tries to call you or antagonize you.  And he works in psychiatry??  On the upside, he has access to doctors to treat him.

Post # 44
Member
7787 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

This guy is awful drunk and sober. Avoid, ignore, move on. 

Post # 45
Member
2859 posts
Sugar bee

I’d leave him if he was a drunk–mean or not.I would NOT plan any type of future with him, mean or not.

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