Would you end a new relationship if he was a mean drunk?

posted 4 months ago in Relationships
Post # 46
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Tennessee

Another one for pass and move on 

Post # 47
3896 posts
Honey bee

What in the actual f**k?!!

Post # 48
28 posts
  • Wedding: May 2020

This should not even be a question you have to ask anybody,  drop this loser like the sad sack that he is!!

Post # 49
4506 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

View original reply
@anonbee58:  Even without your history and background, I would 100% end things.  This would be a huge dealbreaker for me, and D.H. and I both like to drink socially.  His behavior is extreme and not at all what I expected when you said he was a mean drunk (hard no on being with a mean drunk of any kind).  This guy seems violent.  I agree with PP to record everything, alert your friends and neighbors, and keep yourself safe.  

Post # 50
4177 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

I have no problem with someone letting loose on the weekend, but when they regularly cant control the things they say and do; thats unacceptable. The fact that he’s so verbally abusive when drunk is disgusting, nevermind the gaslighting the next day. Any stable person would be completely mortified, admit there is an issue and take immediate steps to work on it. Stable people dont behave this way.

As someone who has an alcoholic parent, this would not be OK with me. I would never ever be able to trust this person. You told him you you had a boundary, he overstepped and you told him you didnt want to see him anymore – you dont owe him any more of an explanation than that. I’m so sorry this happened to you, this situation would be really difficult for me! Take care of yourself, OP!

Post # 51
4404 posts
Honey bee

If he shows up ranting at your door again, you need to call 911 and report him to the landlord. If you need help with the latter, let me know. 

Also, watch your back and rely on your friends to walk you to your door at night for awhile.

Post # 52
2245 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

Damn. I am a social drinker and have no problem with it, and I would still have a problem with this guy. Some people just can’t handle their alcohol. This is a big problem with him, but luckily you don’t have to fix it. Definitely move on ASAP. And don’t let what he said bother you. They were said specifically to get a rise out of you, nothing more. You are better than that and he knows it! 

Post # 53
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2020 - North Carolina

You guys aren’t even in a serious relationship and he’s already acting like this? Dump his a**. Life is too short and there are way too many fish in the sea. Get rid of him BEFORE it gets serious.

Post # 54
9 posts
  • Wedding: October 2003

I married my mean drunk new relationship. Horrible idea. So much abuse. That marriage ended within 8 months. End it now and save yourself a lot of hassle. 

Post # 56
3149 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

View original reply
@anonbee58:  Yikes.  What a nutcase.  If he contacts you again in any way, I would get a restraining order.  Dude seems crazy.

Post # 57
578 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
@anonbee58:  omf, you don’t want that in your life. Good dodge, Bee.

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