(Closed) Would you even count this as an RSVP?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Hmm maybe I’m confused? You mentioned that you havent sent your invites, so what are the RSVPs based off of? I could be wrong here, but I think it is proper to invite everyone on your guest list… not just those you know will be coming. I know some people can be pretty bad with follow through, so maybe she’s just no good with paperwork? If it were me, I would probably give her a call to get her RSVP over the phone. Let her know that if she needs to think about it and figure out where to stay, you are happy to put her down as a “maybe.” Based on what she said to your Future Mother-In-Law, I would assume that intends to come. There could be a lot going on her life that is impacting her RSVP hesitation so I would give her the benefit of the doubt instead of taking her off the invite list. Good luck! I’m in the midst of invitation planniny myself, and I know it can feel pretty stressful sometimes!

Post # 4
Member
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

As far as I understand you are doing a “pre-RSVP” to the invite. You also mentioned that a substantial number of people have not RSVP’d back, including her. Having never come across this kind of RSVP before, is it possible that these people do not understand that they need to RSVP online to get an invitation to the wedding? Also, I would assume she IS coming since she is booking a room and talked to your Fiance about it, despite not RSVPing on your website.

I think the curteous thing to do (though not simple or fun) is to call the people who have not responded one way or another to ask if they are a yes, no or maybe for your wedding. If nothing else, you won’t have anymore “suprise” guests. If you don’t want to email them, perhaps all “no response” people should be considered “maybe” for the time being and you should send them an invite anyway.

Also, if you count her as a no, I’m sure she can find out the details from another relative who has said yes. She could easily just show up that way, assuming she was invited.

Post # 5
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@takemyhand:  I agree. It is possible that while you’re asking ‘is this an RSVP?’, she is thinking ‘is this even an invitation?’. I think what you’re doing can be confusing since it is not common. 

Post # 6
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

How can someone RSVP if there is no invitation? I think people may just be confused as to what is going on. 

Post # 7
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

It is not typical to ask people to RSVP before you’ve even sent out invitations.  She is probably confused.

Post # 8
Member
13294 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Agreed with PP – she, along with other family members, is probably confused.  Heck, I’m super confused after reading through your post a few times.  I don’t really understand the pre-RSVP thing…what’s the point of sending an invitation? 

Post # 9
Member
949 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Though I think you’re making it as clear as possible, my guess would be that some people, including this cousin, probably think this is a Save the Date, which wouldn’t have an RSVP on it. Strange she hasn’t responded, though.

Post # 10
Member
673 posts
Busy bee

It definitely sounds like she has expressed interest. I wouldn’t be so hard on her since, as many PPs have noted, it sounds like the pre-RSVP thing is pretty confusing. From what’s been said here, I know I’d be confused.

Post # 11
Member
532 posts
Busy bee

I agree, it’s very confusing. I would call people and ask. If this invite was sent via email, people could have not opened it, or it could have went into junk mail, you just don’t know. They also might not understand that they are supposed to RSVP. I would want to clarify with my family before writing them off as “no’s”…. If you don’t want to do that, for the guest that you posted about, I would just include her on the “maybe” list, as she indicated (though not in the format that you wanted) that she was coming.

Post # 12
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@rosegirl2325:  

We did this pre-RSVP sneakily.  On our STD we asked that our guests email us their mailing address if they’re available to attend.   This was done with the intention that we would have a rough idea of how many people were coming (for catering, chair/table rentals etc).  We never intended for it to be the official RSVP.

If she hasn’t given you a direct yes or no…or even a maybe, I still would count her as a “yes”.  Send out your paper invitations.  If she still does not acknowledge your RSVP, then you have full blown permission to hound her for an answer.  

If she still won’t give you an answer, then after the RSVP deadline tell her you filled her seat and you cannot accomodate her anymore.   

Post # 14
Member
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think you need to just call them. Really… it’s no big deal.

I understand they did not go through with your request to RSVP directly to you via email, but just pick up the phone and call her. I think you are being over.complicated here just to point out to her that she did not answer correctly.

Post # 16
Member
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@rosegirl2325:  So, she RSVPed but not the way you wanted?

The topic ‘Would you even count this as an RSVP?’ is closed to new replies.

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