Would you ever attend a wedding and not give a gift to the bride and groom?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you ever attend a wedding and not give a gift to the bride and groom?
    No- I would always give a gift or else I would not attend. : (89 votes)
    63 %
    Yes- I would attend a wedding and not give a gift. : (18 votes)
    13 %
    I would only not give a gift if it was a desination wedding or a 2nd wedding : (28 votes)
    20 %
    Other- Please explain in comment : (6 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 46
    Member
    1757 posts
    Buzzing bee

    blackrosegirl :  I was unemployed at the time of my best friend’s wedding. I got her a bridal shower gift, but could not afford a second gift for the wedding. I think it would be ridiculous to tell her I couldn’t go to her wedding because I couldn’t afford a gift. Otherwise, I’d always get a gift.

    Post # 48
    Member
    1757 posts
    Buzzing bee

    somethingblue222 :  I think it’s because gifts are a hot topic on this website and people freak out them. If someone asks for a gift it’s considered rude, but if you don’t give them a gift, it’s also considered rude.

    Post # 49
    Member
    1120 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I have been in the position that I had RSVPd to go to a wedding, become suddenly unemployed, and been unable to afford a “proper” gift, let alone a gift that would have covered the cost of my “plate” (and seriously, when did THAT become the guideline for gifting?). I went to the wedding with a nice card and an inexpensive bottle of the bride’s favorite wine. Not the best thing in the world, and I was poor enough that I had to skip a few meals to make that happen.

    I’m firmly in the camp that you do not have to bring a gift to a wedding. Though it IS nice to bring a gift, it should not be considered a necessity. You’re being invited to celebrate the union of two people. These people should be happy to have their chosen guests with them to celebrate regardless of whether or not they’ll be making money back by having their wishlist gifted to them.

    Post # 50
    Member
    55 posts
    Worker bee

    kristin36890 :  Yeah that’s kind of how it is though. I think if you go to a big formal event like a wedding you basically have to give a gift because of the occasion and because of etiquette. But like nobody should directly ask for gifts either. I just don’t think Id ever show up to a formal event like that without a gift. It just seems like you are trying to get a free meal without doing anything nice for the bride and groom to me. I have always been taught cover your plate.

    Post # 51
    Member
    1757 posts
    Buzzing bee

    somethingblue222 :  I get that and don’t disagree with giving a wedding gift, but it just seems like a lot of energy is spent discussing gifts on this forum.

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