(Closed) Would you ever consider adoption?

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 2
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My husband and I have talked about this — he hopes to have one biologically (if we are lucky enough to) and then consider adopting a second. In his mind, it’s rooted in concerns about population growth and sustainability. In my mind it’s more of an interest in helping a needy kiddo. Our family has a history of adoption already, which has really inspired me. 

The counterpoint to all of this is that we talk about family planning “one child at a time.” If we have a baby biologically and decide we can’t manage a second, or if we suddenly have an overwhelming need to have a second baby biologically, we’re open to those alternate paths. To me there is no sense in having a really specific map when it comes to family planning… my sense is that it happens however it’s going to, and you’re not sure how you’ll feel about it until it’s already in front of you.

Post # 3
2680 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

I would love to foster!  DH isn’t as keen with the idea as he doesn’t like the idea of a child [or pet because I wanted to foster pets too haha] having to leave us after loving he or she for some time.  I had decided that if I never got married or whatever & I only had to take into account my feelings & life’s path, I would have fostered.

As far as adopting, it’s something I really want & something Darling Husband is willing to consider when the time comes.  It’s one of things that we don’t have set in stone & I hope some day if we do decide to have children, that adoption “speaks” to us :]

Post # 4
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m all for adoption and would be happy to adopt. I used to think along the lines of “There are so many kids out there that need a good home, so I’ll adopt rather than conceiving”. However I’ve come to understand that there are huge wait lists to adopt “desireable” kids (healthy infants with parents that didn’t do drugs/alcohol that are available for permanent adoption). They don’t really “need a good home” because there are tons of people waiting to adopt them. It’s the kids that are less desireable (older, medical issues, cognitive issues, exposures, fosters) that really need a good home. I’ve actually thought about adopting these “less desireable” kids but my husband isn’t on board with that. So it looks like we’re going to try to biologic route. If I can have a kid myself, I can save those desireable babies for those that can’t have a biologic child for some reason. Having a kid the old fashioned was is also much cheaper than adoption, which is nice. 

All that being said, I still think adoption is a fantastic option for many many couples. I have several friends who have children through adoption because they couldn’t concieve naturally and it has been a wonderful experience for them. I fully support families grown by adoption.

ETA: I also have lots of concerns about world population growth. My husband less so. My husband would like to have 2-3 kids and would prefer biologic over non-biologic. I decided I was okay with biolgic but told him I was only comfortable with 1, which is still negative population growth. He agreed and that is our plan. We’ll see what actually happens. He’s fine with adoption if we can’t concieve naturally, just didn’t want to jump there in the first place and I now agree with that for us.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by  JenGirl.
Post # 5
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Absolutely! I would love to adopt in addition to having my own, biological children, but Fiance isn’t totally on board with that. If we couldn’t have biological children, we’d definitely adopt.

If I was adopting, race, nationality, etc. wouldn’t be a factor. I’d be happy to adopt a child from anywhere. Actually, I read a blog and the woman who writes it adopted her daughter (who had several facial deformities due to a cleft palatte) from China and I would LOVE to do something like that – adopt a child with special or extra needs who has been overlooked and abandoned because of those needs.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by  annb9.
Post # 6
8470 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Nope. I would never consider it. 

Post # 8
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

There is a large chance that I will not be able to have children due to a medical issue, so adoption has always been an option in my mind. I wouldn’t care about race/ nationality issues. However, I am going to be a doctor and will have so very little time, so as much as I would love a child with special needs if that is the hand I was dealt, I would not choose to adopt a child I knew had special needs

Post # 9
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

My husband and I have always said that we’d love to have one child naturally and adopt a second. We would have been happy to adopt if we coudn’t concieve, but I got pregnant quite easily with our daughter. If we decide we’re not one and done, we’ll be looking into adoption. So many children need good homes, and we’d like to provide that. 

Post # 10
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

We very likely will adopt due to my health issues. We would love to raise a child from a Spanish speaking country because I have been to several and Fiance is Cuban, so we feel like we could have less of a language barrier (as opposed to most international adoptions) and raise our child around his/her native language and culture. We would likely be adopting a preschooler, so it would be valuable to have a shared language. I sometimes feel a “twinge” when I see a little baby, because I most likely will never have one, but mostly I am excited to be connected with the child I am meant to raise someday. I wonder if he/she has been born yet, and where, and what life is or will be like for him/her. At this point I have mostly accepted that my kids will grow in my heart, but not my body.

Post # 11
1122 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

We would rather adopt than conceive. I have no desire to be pregnant, and think that family is based on who you love, not who you share blood with. There are so many children who will spend their entire lives in foster care, and if I can give one of them a better life than they would have it is totally worth it! My family is always huge on adoption, so ive always wanted to adopt. It wasnt until the last few years that I realized that I do not want to conceive and be pregnant. I think it is a beautiful thing, and have SO many friends that are pregnant or just gave birth recently, but I just feel like it isnt for me. I would be much happier adopting, and my husband is totally on the same page. We have decided to wait until after we are 30 to begin the process, and have gotten a lot of judgement for not wanting kids in our 20s, and for choosing adoption, but its what works for us, and all that matters is that were a family. =)


Also, I bring home foster animals all the time. Lol. Darling Husband is just used to coming home to a new visitor. We just arent in a position right now with preparing to move in the next year to be able to foster children, or else we would probably be doing the classes and things now.

Post # 12
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

rbuchanan09:  I will always consider adoption. As a birthmother, I know how much it means to find a good home for your child if you are unable to provide it for them at the time.

Post # 13
2807 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

In a heartbeat. Fiance was adopted at birth, and adoption is something very close to his heart. We have definitely decided to explore that option once we decide to have kids. There are so so many kids out there that need loving families. I have also thought about doing foster care.

We would do domestic adoption, not international.

Post # 14
2814 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

No. I honestly don’t think I have the capabilities to take on the responsibility of adopting a child. Said child is not going to automatically be grateful and thankful that you adopted them. Many older children come with a lot of problems that I don’t think I could properly help them get through. Many babies that are adopted from overseas grow up to struggle with their identity and connection to their adoptive parents. I just don’t know that I could be a strong enough person to address all of those things.

I also have this selfish need to have that biological bond with my child, as stupid as that seems when I say it. Birthing my daughter was something very important to me. I don’t know that adopting a child would provide me with the same bond.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by  urchin.
Post # 15
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B


I would love to!  I just don’t know if it will be in the cards for us.  We do both want at least 2 biological children if we are able, and then after that I am totally open to adoption, but we’re also both adamant about only having as many children as we can reasonably afford (somewhat comfortably, like able to put savings away for college, letting them be able to join sports/hobbies/clubs, take them on vacation SOMETIMES, etc.). So, if we have two and feel we’re maxed, we wouldn’t adopt.

But I would love to give a child or two a loving home who needs it….

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