(Closed) Would you ever consider adoption?

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 16
Member
5219 posts
Bee Keeper

No– we have discussed it at length and have decided that if we are unable to conceive naturally, we wouldn’t adopt, pursue any type of IVF treatments and just adopt6 more dogs to fill the home haha

Post # 17
Member
9646 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

If I could not conceive I would definitely consider adoption, but I don’t think I would otherwise. And call me shallow, but I would also prefer a child that looked at least somewhat like us. I just hate how kids that don’t look like their parents automatically have this label of “adopted”. I feel like that must be really hard on them sometimes, versus kids that can blend in more easily.

Post # 18
Member
2568 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I would just LOVE to adopt and I hope that adoption or foster care is in the cards for us someday, regardless of if we can or do have a biological child. We’ll see how things work out, but it’s something I really want and my husband is open to!

Post # 19
Member
1410 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I absolutely want to adopt! But I also want to have one or two biological children. I told Fiance pretty early on about this idea, and though it wasn’t something he had considered before, now he’s totally on board with the idea. But he has said that he couldn’t foster, because of the risk that he’d come to love a child as his own and then have them taken away, and I’m not sure I could either. We haven’t decided what route we would choose, but we have plenty of time to figure that out.

Post # 20
Member
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Laurenplusalex:  That was beautifully written!

Post # 21
Member
3075 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

Yeeees, I’d rather just adopt (years from now of course) whereas Darling Husband wants to adopt & have one of our own… I only want one kid :-P. But we’ll see! Don’t care about race but age wise would prefer a toddler or maybe a bit older. 

Post # 22
Member
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Sunnyday278:  I’m no expert in this, but often the kids who need a good home the most are kids in the foster system which comes with some financial support. Kids can still be expensive, but it’s something to think about, in your situation!

Post # 23
Member
1827 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

oh jeez ive been guilt tripping myself about adoption/conception for NO reason. we’re not even near ready to have a kid yet.

i feel that there are so many children that need to be adopted, but like a PP said often times the children that need it the most are older and come from unstable homes or have health issues. im not sure if i could handle that and it makes me feel terrible…

that being said, being pregnant sounds completely miserable. yet, i do have the burning desire to have a child that is the product of me and my husband.

i have no idea what im doing with my life.

Post # 24
Member
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

When I was younger, I never thought I would get married. I just couldn’t imagine finding the right person. I always imagined that I would adopt. Then I met Darling Husband and he says he would never adopt because he would always worry that, in the back of his mind, when the child was naughty he would think “you’re not even mine, you little ****”. He said he would not want to be put in that position.

I found that a hard blow. I can only hope that, as we get older, one day he will change his mind and allow us to take in a child in need, in addition to any biological children we might have. He has already said that he would consider fostering in the future, so…

Post # 25
Member
638 posts
Busy bee

ChellFish22:  I also have no real desire to be pregnant. I don’t know if I would mind it, but it’s not necessary. I think a lot of people get wrapped up in passing on their genes as if everyone is a special snowflake. 

 

 

Post # 26
Member
5543 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

I have never wanted to persue intensive fertility treatments,  and while it is becoming clear at least some meds will be required for biological children,  that is about as far as I am willing to take it. To me, there is a lot more to family than genes and my family is pretty great at sharing the love to whoever happens to be around at the time (several foster children,  a baby mama, and just people with no where else to go) so an adopted kid would know all the love we have

If we can’t have a biological child, I would persue a domestic baby adoption first, having been part of the extended family of a birth father (cousin who is like my lil brother), I have quickly discovered that the babies given up for adoption at birth aren’t always “unwanted”by everyone else in their extended family, but they all realize the best possible situation is for a family totally different than theirs. But if we can have a bio kid, we will look at foster-adoption of hopefully a sibling group with some older kids. 

Post # 27
Member
6361 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

Yes. I think we are CBC (not 100% sure of it, but I think that is where we are heading … ) but if we do have one child (ONE ONLY! haha), I would prefer to adopt. I have absolutely no desire to be pregnant or give birth and I would be the one to do it since Destination Wedding is older than I am. I would, however, be very open to adopting a child from somewhere (here or internationally – doesn’t matter to me). Destination Wedding is not as open as I am to it because of all the hurdles (financial and otherwise). She thinks it would be nearly impossible. So … I dont know what is going to happen at this point …

Post # 28
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Probably not. It is a gruelling process that I feel I would become jaded and bitter over by the time all is said and done, and I wouldn’t have that oxytocin rush a birth mother would get to bond me to the child after going through all that, which could be disastrous.

I’m just not confident we could bond, and I have no interest in laying every aspect of my life bare to be judged upon. 

Post # 29
Member
8482 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

I want to adopt even if I can have children “of my own.”

Post # 30
Member
3076 posts
Sugar bee

rbuchanan09:  Yes!

Me and SO have already discussed this. If financially able, we would love to adopt a child after having our own. Probably an older child (5-10yrs old) because it is harder for them to find families.

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