(Closed) Would you ever pay for or help pay for your own E ring?

posted 5 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Would you ever pay for or help pay for your E ring?
    Yes I would have no problem paying for it or helping to pay for it if it meant getting my dream ring : (160 votes)
    57 %
    No way I would never contribute anything, he can save up for however long it takes : (18 votes)
    6 %
    Maybe it depends on the situation : (47 votes)
    17 %
    I would rather he pay for it all and get a smaller ring I just want to get married! : (36 votes)
    13 %
    I did pay for my own ring : (22 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 76
    Member
    857 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    I told my Fiance that I would help pay if paying for the ring was holding him back from getting engaged sooner. He said absolutely not. He ended up using his grandmother’s ring… so neither of us payed for it!!

    Post # 77
    Member
    177 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    BWLE:  I asked my Fiance to choose my ring himself and that I didn’t mind what size stone he bought, just as long as he could afford it. If he needed help to pay for my ring I would have helped though, I know some men are excited to get engaged and want to give their partner’s a beautiful ring. A lot of people choose their own ring but I let him pick something so he could not only surprise me, but not have the pressure of looking for a huge rock. 

    Post # 78
    Member
    1312 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: A very pretty church.

    Absolutely, though not for my ‘dream’ ring, because I don’t have one. Engagement rings are special because they’re your engagement ring. Having a fixed idea about exactly the ring you expect someone to buy for you is an odd notion to me.

    This heavy materialistic focus is probably the thing I am least enjoying about getting engaged. I wanted my ring, I enjoy wearing it, it is a symbol understood in my society and culture and I look forward to wearing it for decades. Thus the only real standards I had were a) not ugly imo b) not terrible value, expensive or otherwise c) wearable…because decades d) durable…because decades and e) if possible not like everyone else’s. That took a lot of looking, it would have been cruel to make him do that alone.

    We found that ring, I was so pleased, but I never expected him to pay for all of it. We’re equals making a decision together, also, he doesn’t get to wear it, so even if I helped pay I am definitely getting the better end of that deal 

    He wouldn’t let me help with cost  

    Post # 79
    Member
    322 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    Very interesting and I understand where everyone is coming from. I dated my guy for ten years and after a breakup and time apart we reconnected and he finally proposed and he came full force with a ring and paying for it. My guy is very frugal so I was surprised that he went big. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I deserve it! Lol I wouldn’t have paid for it. I am not very traditional but I guess because our circumstances and everything we went through well… I wanted to make sure he was all in So I let him handle it. As for the wedding we are both paying for it. And I am buying his rings yes he wants two , one for everyday and a blingy one! Lol  I believe  in equality. I am very independent and have even  paid for our vacations but for the engagement ring and band well he stepped up in a traditional way and I accepted it! 😉

    Post # 80
    Member
    925 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I did. Not only did we already share finances at that point, but that’s what marriage is… sharing and compromise. And I got a say on how we spent our money and on the sparkly on my finger 🙂

    Post # 81
    Member
    6 posts
    Newbee

    I think you need to be happy with your ring, but also respect that the ring is a symbol, more than anything.

     

    My (EX) was so insistent on getting a near flawless solitaire, that she actually transfered the $ into our joint account and bought the ring online. I strikes me an incredibly unromantic.

     

    Edit:

    Sorry for the bump!

    • This reply was modified 5 years ago by  crazybubba.
    Post # 82
    Member
    688 posts
    Busy bee

    I plan on  helping pay for the ring so I can get the ring of my dreams

    Post # 83
    Member
    33 posts
    Newbee

    So, a little background. I have been dreaming of the perfect ring forever. My ideal looks something like ANY of these https://www.hubub.com/133529/189107 – but at the same time, I am a huge romantic. I have no interest in marrying for money, I have no interest in having a man spend 20 000 dollars on a ring that he has saved for years for what could possiblely be spent on our lives together. That being said, if I have to help pay for me ring, I am completely fine with that. That way, I save and he saves for my dream ring. Seems fair and romantic to me. Especially because I own a part of that ring financially, it is something I have dreamt about and saved for all my life. I want to have a part in it. 

    Post # 84
    Member
    1019 posts
    Bumble bee

    Yes, I would certainly chip in towards my own e-ring. While it seems a bit less likely than in the past for an e-ring in particular because DBF is adamant about surprising me, we have discussed this scenario before. We are young students, so we wouldn’t want to spend too much on a ring because we don’t have that much money to begin with.

    Post # 85
    Member
    58 posts
    Worker bee

    I’m the breadwinner, he’s the homemaker. So yes, I paid for my rings, and his too!

    Post # 86
    Member
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Hmm… I think I would contribute SOME to it depending on the situation, but I’m not a very flashy girl to begin with so a classic and modest diamond ring would have done just fine. The largest diamond in my engagement ring was actually from my grandmother’s ring so in this case he also didn’t pay for the whole deal and I’m more than okay with it!

    Post # 87
    Member
    594 posts
    Busy bee

    BWLE:  Absolutely – I just want to be married! I don’t care how it gets there, so long as there’s a ring on my finger!

    Post # 88
    Member
    1624 posts
    Bumble bee

    He bought my engagement ring but I bought both of our wedding bands. I think of our finances more in “our money,” so it wouldn’t be that big of a deal to me who paid. He has a little less liberal view on things, but I did want it to be fair 

    Post # 89
    Member
    5120 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2014

    We share our finances, so technically we both paid for it even though he “bought” it. I’m all about equality so I “bought” him an engagement Rolex :).

    Post # 90
    Member
    3114 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

    Sure, if you have discussed it and he has a budget and you want something more expensive then I think it’s only fair that you chip in. I’d prefer just to have a surprise at whatever price point he thought was appropriate though. 

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