(Closed) Would you ever "steal" a friend's venue?

posted 6 years ago in Venue
  • poll: Would you ever use a venue you knew a friend liked for themself?
    Yes : (44 votes)
    44 %
    No : (27 votes)
    27 %
    I have done this : (2 votes)
    2 %
    I would not do this : (19 votes)
    19 %
    I have had a friend "steal" my venue and I didn't care : (4 votes)
    4 %
    I have had a friend "steal" my venue and it bothered me : (4 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee

    She doesn’t have a claim on the venue in any real sense, but it might be smart to talk to her about this before you book, all the same. If she just broke up with her boyfriend, she’s probably emotional already, and might see this as a really traitorious move by you – like you’re kicking her when she’s down, even if you totally don’t mean it that way. If you approach her and say, “remember that really great venue you found when you were doing your research? It turns out that it’s available and affordable on our date. How would you feel about us booking the wedding there?” She might not be delighted about it, but people often feel better just knowing they’ve been consulted and had an opportunity to say their piece.

    Post # 4
    Member
    751 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I have my venue and my friend recently got engaged, she asked what my venue was called and I told her and she was bummed. She said she had found it and fallen in love with it. She got engaged after I did and will be getting married before me so I was a little bummed at her wanting to use it but I told her I didn’t own it and she was more than welcome to use it as well. She said no, that it would be my special place for my special day and I cannot tell you how relieved I was when she said that. I wouldn’t recommend taking it, it will make hers a little special.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    This isn’t her venue. Why would she sent the link. If you think it would be an issue speak to her and thank her for finding the venue for you. You can’t “steal” it because it doesn’t belong to you. I been several weddings at the same venues sometimes by family members. Lines and decor add so much to a space, and I’ve gotten very differnt vibes in the same room at a different wedding.

    Anyways all of that is a moot point, she isn’t even engaged or close to getting married.

    Post # 6
    Member
    215 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    If I were you, I would bring it up to my friend. Tell her all the things you just wrote and see what she has to say. I personally loved my venue and still haven’t stopped telling everyone who will listen that it’s an amazing place to get married.

    Post # 7
    Member
    300 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    OK until the last sentence I understood this as her having that venue booked already. I was thinking “Bride Wars!” in my head. Haha! Anyways, since she is not even engaged I think it’s fine. HOWEVER, out of respect for her (since she is your Maid/Matron of Honor and all!) I would bring it up to her before booking it.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3772 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    There are very few venues in my hometown… so there is no way I would expect a friend to not use the venue, just because I used it. It should be fine.. especially since she just broke up with her boyfriend.. so obviously there isn’t a wedding in the near future.. so its not like you’re getting married 3mos apart at the same place.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1614 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    The venue doesn’t belong to her and shes not even engaged!!! I would absolutely use it!!! If she were engaged and already booked a date there and it was around the same time, I might put some extra thought into it, but thats not the case. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    813 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I’d go about it like this: “hey ____, you know that venue you sent? I totally love it and it has an awesome price.. I think we are going to book it. Do you want to come on the tour? I know you liked it as well!”

    Maybe ina  couple years she will also get married there.. I’ve had a couple of friends all get married at the same spot.. not a big issue. Especially since the number of people going to both weddings is quite a small number.

    … I do know one family that all 3 daughters got married at the same spots. At least half of the guest list went to all three, but it was a nice venue so everyone liked it!

    Post # 11
    Member
    5547 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Well, if she doesn’t even have a Boyfriend or Best Friend…. so not an issue. I mean, if she was planning her wedding and you “took” her venue for the day before her wedding, then yeah, that is messed up. But it is a venue, not a groom. And in some places there just aren’t a lot of options so I don’t see why there should be an issue. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    3773 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 1999

    I would defintely talk to her first. Even if she isn’t close to getting married, it is something a good friend would do.

    Post # 13
    Member
    5662 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I could understand being bummed at someone using the same venue as you, but considering she’s not engaged or even in a relationship, she has no real claim to the venue, but you still might bring it up and just tell her what you told us, it’s much more affordable, it has a date open, its beautiful, and, she DID find it so she can get some credit for that. 

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    671 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I would talk to her first. If I were her, I wouldn’t have a problem. There would be a problem if she was also engaged and had told you she wanted to book the venue and you went ahead and booked it to be married there BEFORE her wedding.

     

    Just talk to her. I think she’ll understand. Let us know how she responds please 🙂

    Post # 15
    Member
    201 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would just talk to your friend about it.  Last spring, my friend announced that she would be getting married over Labor Day weekend 2012 (she wasn’t engaged yet).  Then, last winter Fiance and I got engaged and started looking at dates and venues.  Labor Day weekend made sense for us because many of our guests aren’t local and my friend still didn’t have a ring. I took her to dinner and just asked her how she felt about it and the answer was “that’s cool, you guys are in a position to plan and I’m not.”. I think if just booked it without talking to her she would’ve been upset.

    Post # 16
    Member
    679 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @novacaineandlaughter:  I think you should just explain it to her like you did to us. Ask how she feels. She probably won’t stop you. I think it may sting a little, though. I think I would totally be supportive bit still sad on the inside.

     

    Off topic, totally sounds like you are talking about my venue. It’s located near you ans fits the description. Are you talking about Twin Oaks? If you are, give it a shot! The place just gets better and better. But even if it isn’t, if you love the venue, it’s worth a shot! 🙂

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