Would you expect meat from a vegetarian couple?

posted 6 years ago in Food
Post # 77
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee

@solsticedark:  Yikes! Rude. As a vegetarian, I don’t think of it as someone going “out of their way” to provide a vegetarian option. If there isn’t a meatless option, I CAN’T EAT! If a meat eater comes to my wedding and their is no meat, tough luck. They can eat a meal without meat. I have never eaten meat and I have a reason for it. They don’t have a reason for eating meat every meal. I don’t eat meat because I’m against the killing of the animals. So I don’t buy it either. I try not to support it every possible way. So why would I want to buy it on my biggest day? I don’t even buy it or cook it for the man i love the most, i’m certainly not buying it for all my guests. :/

OP if you’re paying for the food, I don’t think anyone has the right to be offended. As a vegetarian myself, I would not provide meat. I wouldn’t feel right morally :/

Post # 78
Member
2456 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I think if you handle it well, you can avoid serving meat on your day.  Make sure you serve “normal” food- don’t just limit it to tofu and veggie patties.  Some people enjoy them, but they tend to be veggie eaters, and you’re trying to please the meat eaters.

Also, please please please please PLEASE do not shove vegetarian ideals down other people’s throats.  I’m not saying you will, it’s just a gentle reminder.  I hate it when some vegetarians act like they are holier than thou because they don’t eat meat, and they make it a huge topic to point out every time.

Post # 79
Member
1063 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Pizza sounds great, I’ll eat cheese pizza all day long!

Just to go into they hypotheticals, I hate hot vegan food with a firey passion, and I think it’s gross, but I *can* eat it, it’s not against my morals to eat it, and I can deal with food I don’t like for one meal out of respect for my friends’ beliefs.

Post # 80
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I’m a vegetarian. There’s no way I would taint the happiest day of our life with animal flesh on platters. No thank you. I simply could never justify paying to serve my guests murdered lifeforms because that’s what they happen to prefer. At some point it goes beyond making guests happy and into my values and morals. Your wedding is the last place you should feel compelled to compromise what you think is right. 

Post # 81
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I would never expect a vegetarian couple to serve meat – just as I wouldn’t expect pork or alcohol at a Muslim wedding or beef at a Hindu one! For most vegetarians I know it isn’t a preference, but a moral decision – and to me that is just as worthy of respect as a religious belief.

Also, reading this thread would suggest that a lot of people believe that vegetarians eat a) tofu, b) vegetables and c) veggie burgers. Everyone does realise that ‘vegetarian’ means ‘any food without meat’ not ‘weird stuff’ right? My cousin is vegetarian but hates most vegetables – it is possible! (she basically lives on pasta and cheese). 

I eat meat, as does my Fiance, but there’s one caterer that we are considering who does not cook meat or fish. They make delicious and extremely varied meals (and don’t use things people are afraid of…like tofu and chickpeas). 

Post # 82
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Op – on the pizza point – it sounds great to me! Take the opportunity to show people that there are many different and delicious vegetarian options out there. 

Post # 83
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@lampshade:  I would be happy that the couple stayed true to themselves. It is your wedding, vego pizzas and beer sounds amazing.

 

Post # 84
Member
1218 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

In the situation you’ve described I think pizza is an awesome choice, and no, I wouldn’t expect meat. I do prefer hawaiian pizza but I could absolutely eat a vegetarian or margherita pizza! I also would not expect meat at a cocktail reception if I knew the couple were vegetarian.

If it was a traditional sit-down dinner or a buffet, no meat could also work as long as a substantial alternative was provided like a vegetarian lasagne or another pasta dish, scalloped potatoes, roast vegetables, vegetable soup, etc. Now I’m hungry just writing that!

Post # 85
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Personally, I wouldn’t expect to be served meat, especially if the couple is vegetarian for ethical/moral reasons. I’d be fine with most vegetarian options that don’t use meat substitutes but, there is a very good chance that some of your (meat eating) guests will not be satisfied with their dinner, no matter what is served and how creative you get. Sure, they can physically eat it, but someone like my brother and father would probably smile nicely, nibble around their plate and either go home feeling like they didn’t actually eat a meal or duck out early to find a second dinner somewhere else. They wouldn’t be offended that you didn’t provide meat because of your beliefs, but to them, a meal without meat isn’t a real meal. I don’t agree, but that’s how they are.

I’d say that pizza sounds like a great option for the casual celebration you have in mind. You’ll have lots of choices for awesome veggie pizzas, and is more likely to satisfy more non-vegetarians than grilled veggies. If you can swing it, the “make your own pizza” stations are a ton of fun 🙂 … just make sure you have options for your gluten/dairy-sensitive guests!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 86
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I wouldn’t expect meat, but my Fiance hates pizza and a friend of mine is deathly allergic to tomatoes, so neither of them would be able to eat if pizza was the only main dish. 

 

Post # 87
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@lampshade:  I think you should serve whatever you want! I had a veggie option at my non vegetarian wedding… So you could see it that way.

But Pizza is yummie

Post # 88
Member
6303 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

@lampshade:  We have 3 pescatarian guests (out of 59 for the day and 100 for the evening), and have gonhe out of our way to accommodate them. Many couples provide just 1 veggie option; we have made sure that throughout the day, from the drinks reception to the evening buffet, that 50% of the options are suitable for pescatarians.

So, there is a fish option and veggie option during our drinks reception; and a small proportion of the other two options, which contain meat, are being modified so that they can also eat those. For our entree we have a chicken option, a red meat option, a fish option, and a veggier option, so again, they have two dishes to choose from. Etc. I have also contacted each of them directly to get an idea of their preferences, and to see if they have any intolerances (eg one has an intolerance to peppers, which I’m glad to know as I was considering something liked stuffed peppers as a starter; obviously that’s now out).

As a meat eater, I would expect the same courtesy to be extended to me, for the following reasons:

1) Vegetarianism is a preference. Humans are designed to eat meat, and the fact it can be difficult for vegetarians to eat a balanced diet demonstrates this.

2) I find it a case of double-standards: they would expect to be catered to, so, they should be prepared to cater to guests of theirs with different preferences in turn.

3) I find it preachy. Like it or not you aree making a moral/political statement by not including meat at your wedding. IMO a wedding is not the time or place for such a statement.

4) As mentioned by a previous poster, lots of people have intolerances or allergies to foods which are commonly used in vegetarian cooking. For example, I have to be very craeful with tomatoes and peppers, as both can trigger my endo symptoms (severe cramping, stabbing, twisting pains). I am also severely allergic to some meat substitues inc Quorn (and by severely allergic I’m talking extreme stomach pain, and continuous vomitting and diarrhea for a 24-36 hour period; it leaves me very ill for several days). I also know a lot of people who won’t eat mushrooms. I would likely find it a lot harder to find something to eat at a vegetarian wedding.

Post # 89
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@lampshade:  I went to the engagement party of a vegan couple, with the groom being straight edge (no caffeine, no alcohol). At first my friends and I were all really hesitant and thought that we would have to do a stopover at McDonald’s along the way or something, but at the end of the day, the party was ALL ABOUT THEM. And you know what? It ended up being surprisingly filling (the McDonald’s stopover never happened!) They had things like artisan breads and dips, vegetarian curries, noodles and some amazing vegan desserts. While the groom wasn’t happy about alcohol being served at the party, he compromised for her parents’ sakes.

We had always known that this couple were very strongly opposed to meat and so to expect them to compromise their principles to feed us was a bit much. Again, the party was all about THEM and their relationship, so to have meat there would have been quite strange. This is also the custom for many Hindu weddings, and guests are usually happy to just eat what’s available.

There are so many ways to enjoy vegetables, and this is coming from a massive meat fan. I think just giving your guests the heads-up beforehand would be the proper thing to do – just so (if they REALLY are insanely opposed to a vegetarian wedding) they can have some warning and maybe fill up before the wedding or something. 

Post # 90
Member
875 posts
Busy bee

I have several vegetarian friends.  If you want to serve pizza that is a fun food, but truthfully it  makes me think of  sleep over snacks and not a wedding occasion.  I would be of the pepperoni pizza rocks school of thought.  I don’t want veggie pizza and I hate the fake versions of meat…  My veggie friends give me real pepperoni and I provide them with the veggie options of their choice.  If I was only given the option of a veg. pizza then I would pick plain old cheese pizza, and that is definitely not a festive option.  I think if you are going for a completely vegetarian meal, you need to go with pastas and items like cheese stuffed shells, and soufflés, and you need to be aware that for some people even those options aren’t going to make the cut.  Some people might be ok with a faux meat product, but none of the meat eaters I know would ever pick a veggie burger over a real one, so if it’s going to be a no meat night, you need to choose options that a non vegetarian might choose for a meal.  

Post # 91
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@barbie86:  +1 to everything you stated.

it’s called being considerate to your guests, the same way you expect them to be considerate to your food choices.

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