Would you attend an OOT wedding just because they attended yours?

posted 2 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I wouldn’t attend solely because they attended mine. If I was free and had the financial means to go, I’d go, regardless if they attended my wedding or not. But I also wouldn’t feel guilty if I didn’t go just because they did attend mine.

Post # 3
Member
13223 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I’d go if the relationship meant something to me, and I could afford the expense. 

Post # 4
Member
47380 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Not soley for that reason. If I had hardly spoken to a person in 3 years, I likely would not attend, whether or not they had attended mine. I would send them a gift and a card with my best wishes.

Post # 5
Member
1787 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I am in your friend’s shoes and thinking about inviting the one who invited me to her wedding and bachelorette. I don’t really want to invite her,  but really do love and care about her and i don’t want her to feel slighted and I felt like not inviting her would be the final nail in the friendship coffin.  I didn’t want to do that. 

If she didn’t attend I would not be offended or surprised,  but if also be happy to see her again if she wanted to come and would try to make more of an effort in the future. 

So don’t be afraid to decline,  but base the decision on what you want for the friendship in the future.  Get closer and you should go,  let the friendship die,  decline. 

Post # 6
Member
614 posts
Busy bee

If I was available and it wouldn’t be a financial strain to attend, I am always happy to celebrate with a friend (new or old) on their wedding day. If it was in some way a problem to attend and it wasn’t someone I was particularly close with anymore, I wouldn’t move mountains to make it. 

Post # 7
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

I would definitely attend if I was available. I view wedding invites from old friends as a “hey, i know we aren’t that close anymore, but you played a role in my life and I cherish our memories.” If you don’t attend, definitely send a gift.

Post # 8
Member
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

If you decline I’d still send a gift. 

Post # 9
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

If she was a good enough friend for you to invite her to your wedding, and she’s a good enough friend to invite you to her wedding… then yes I would attend, if I was available and financially able.

Post # 10
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

I would (and I did). You can turn this into a getaway weekend for you and your husband to make it more appealing. 

Post # 11
Member
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I invited two old college friends and their families to my wedding. I attended theirs (both about 14 years ago now!) but the last time we met or spoke was about 5 years ago at least. But I invited them anyway (evening only – UK Bee) because I thought it would be nice to reconnect.

Neither family came (one was about to move abroad and the other had other plans in the summer holidays) but it was still nice to get an email back from them and hear what they’re up to. I wasn’t disappointed that they didn’t come, but would have been equally happy to see them. 

I’d say, if you want to reconnect then go. If you aren’t interested in continuing the friendship don’t go. If you want to reconnect but it’s too far, then decline but send a nice gift.

Post # 12
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I’d go. I have a few friends who I speak to rarely and who I only see every couple of years. We have jobs, relationships, children that get in the way that make it not that easy to get to see each other or have time to speak, especially as my work schedule changes weekly. I’d still go to their wedding, I’d take it as an opportunity to catch up and see them. These friendships still mean something to me and when we do get together it’s like nothing has changed so yeah. I’d definitely be going.

Post # 13
Member
368 posts
Helper bee

I had a long time friend come to my Out of Town wedding which I really appreciated, however I decided to not attend there’s this year as I was not invited to the ceremony and the reception was informal to the point of no venue and pay for your own food a drink. If invited to the ceremony, I think I would have came however it’s a lot of money and time off work.

Post # 14
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’d go – I have been to a few weddings of uni friends who we were close to at uni but drifted since. They came to ours so we went to theres.

Besides. I LOVE weddings and it takes a lot for me to decline one (to date I have only declined 2 weddings. 1 was because my cousin was getting married the same day and second was in Australia and I had just given birth)

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