(Closed) Would you financially support your 25 year old kid?

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 62
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Not in the situation given by OP, but some others, yes.

Child with special needs – probably, although I would have seen if I could find an alternative for their sake. My brother has cerebral palsy and he lives witha similar-aged caregiver to give him independence. But if that ever fell through he would be home in a heartbeat!

Medical issues – sure!

A (responsible) student – yes, but I’d provide a bed and food, not an allowance unless exceptional circumstances

Tough job market and my child can’t get a break – Yes. If they were a[pplying for jobs and bettering themselves, and working what they could, I want to try and stack the dice in enabling them to succeed. Not worrying about where their next meal will come from is part of this.

I’m 28 and Darling Husband and I live (temporarily) with his parents. He moved back to the US after 4 years in Japan and couldn’t find a job in his field. He took what he could find (a grocery warehouse) and has applied for grad school for next year. We would have sent literally hundreds of job applications out for him in the last year on top of him working. In the mean time, we lost most of our savings going through the immigration process for me and paying for moving costs (International tickets are not cheap!), as well as some medical bills I had a year ago. Also, with immigration I didn’t recieve my work permit until last week so have been unable to earn anything – I’ve been in grad school though, so I can do something productive and contribute eventually. We pay his parents grocery money and had planned to move out August so Darling Husband could go to grad school and I could hopefully fnd a teaching job wherever he is accepted. I recently found out I’m (surprise) pregnant though, so we may find ourselves here for another year until the next fall, when we move to go off to school. We love his parents, but hate the situation. We WANT to have jobs that can pay the bills and damn well will keep working until we have them, even if it means 5 years of grad school for Darling Husband or another International move, this time with baby!

Post # 63
2119 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013


hell no! i moved out at 17 and went to college. my parents helped me with my wisdom teeth and thats it. as soon as you are out of the house, unless you have proven yourself and have a reason. (like if you were a teacher and needed some where to live while you did your practicum: so it does depend) then i would but other than that 18 you are out of here!!! Thats enabling them to be dependant. Im super independent because i got out of the house, payed my own bills, worked my own jobs.

Post # 64
1379 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Under those circumstances, no. But sometimes, shit happens. I’m 28 and have been supported by my parents for most of the past two years. First, I had a long job search, then I finally got a job and was living on my own and supporting myself, then I was hit by serious medical issues completely out of the blue and am unable to work temporarily. Fiancee moved in with us to emotionally support me but he’s unable to work since we haven’t gone through immigration yet. Neither of us are happy with the situation, but we’re stuck with it for the next six months or so.

So yeah. Medical issues or truly trying and struggling, yes. Dicking around, no.

Post # 65
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

No. Never. (I think) 


i did it, so I assume he can do it. My brother has attended school in a totally different world than when I was in school (post recession) and from what I can tell, the rules have changed. It’s more acceptable to find an alternate way now. 

Post # 66
3378 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Nope.  I would help my kids if they were in temporary need, but absolutely not in this circumstance.  My kids will know that if there’s any indication that they aren’t taking college seriously, I won’t pay tuition, living expenses, or cosign for loans.  If I saw this behavior, they’re adults and can chose to do stupid shit if they want, but I won’t fund it.

Post # 67
2268 posts
Buzzing bee

@MrsWBS:  “Nope. Not under those circumstances at least.


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