(Closed) Would you find this rude?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: If your MOH told you this, would you find it rude?
    Yup, she's getting her outfit bought for her, she doesn't get to dictate it to me. : (24 votes)
    63 %
    Nope, she should expect me to buy her what she wants, where she wants it from. : (6 votes)
    16 %
    Other... : (8 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 3
    11747 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think it’s a brief text and you’re reading way too much into it. This is why you don’t communicate over text.

    Post # 5
    4056 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    custom made usually equals more expensive. Maybe she’s under the impression that a custom made dress will cost you more and she’s trying to be nice about budget?

    Post # 6
    603 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    maybe it just came across wrong…if I read this correctly she is saying to NOT spend a lot on custom made..maybe she is trying to help you out by going for a shop bought dress or maybe she doesnt understand fully that you are paying for it…maybe she was hoping you would reply something along the lines of oh dont worry, remember I am paying for it. Just a thought:)

    Post # 8
    239 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I agree with MrsWBS you should talk to her and forego the texts. Maybe she thinks it’ll be cheaper for you to buy a store dress. Either way she should smile and accept whatever dress you choose however you choose it.


    Good luck.

    Post # 10
    3941 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Custom made would make me think more $$$ than off the rack.

    Post # 11
    184 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Maybe she is assuming that the custom made dress would be more expensive and she is just saying that the shop dress would be good enough for her (ie that she doesn’t expect you to spend a fortune). I agree with the others, text messages are so hard to decipher.

    Post # 12
    3267 posts
    Sugar bee

    Are you sure she doesn’t have a problem with a knock off dress on principle.

    Call her and discuss this issue.  Everyone thinks that they are good are reading other peoples tone in texts and emails, but research suggests that people are actually quite poor at it.


    Post # 14
    1030 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I don’t think its rude at all. I think she’s just saying a custom dress would be too much hassle  (time-wise maybe for her) and more that it would be too much hassle and money for you to pay!

    I’m sure if you both hated everything at the store shed say fine to the custom, but i think shes just trying to make things simpler.  

    Post # 15
    9954 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Agree with @Glasgowbound:  she is probably thinking that Custom Made means EXPENSIVE

    Lots of people think that… not many realize (unless they are Wedding Planning) that the knock-off Bridal Shops in China are uber cheap vs the rest of the world.  I myself was blown away by the incredible price difference.

    Combine that with this all being by text (people need to talk more… COMMUNICATION is critical to Wedding Planning and lack of misunderstandings that make things a zillion times worse) and it is quite understandable that perhaps the two of you aren’t on the same page.

    Make a point of TALKING to people when you are Wedding Planning, then you can hear / see tone or facial expressions that the written word CANNOT convey.  EVER

    It will save you a ton of headaches.

    Hope this helps,

    PS… By The Way, this wasn’t an Etiquette Question.  Just a Question on how to get along with a Bridesmaid, the key is communication. 

    (IF you haven’t you guys need to have a long heart to heart about what each of you will be responsible for / expectations / commitments / finances etc… THAT WOULD BE ETIQUETTE)



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