(Closed) Would YOU get an engagement ring your boyfriend hates?

posted 7 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Would you get a ring if your SO hates it?

    Yes

    No

    It depends

  • Post # 16
    Member
    2543 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Yes I would! One because I’d be wearing it every day. Two, because I’m sure he would want me to be incredibly happy with my ring. I’d like to think he would be looking at me smiling at/admiring the ring and being happy rather than looking at the ring he likes and being happy, makes sense?

    However, to be fair I’d go look at rings with him and try on every style to see what actually looks good and you like IRL. If after that you still love your halo more than anything…I say get the halo.

    Post # 17
    Member
    277 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    GirlyGirl24:  I wouldn’t get something Fiance didn’t like; if you’re going the traditional route, he is spending the money. I would talk to him about what he does/doesn’t like, and the reasons why, and then move from there towards something that you both love. Even if you/both of you are putting forth the money for an e-ring, do you really want him thinking :/ every time he looks at it?! I want it to be a happy reminder of our life together for both of us! I think its important to consider that its not just about one person anymore, its about two. Also, he might have legitimate concerns about the ring you like. Me and Fiance personally eschewed rings with a larger center diamond because of the logistics to wearing one; I knew that for me it would get in the way and would make the things I enjoy doing more difficult. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    512 posts
    Busy bee

    Yes. 

    If it’s jewelry for me, I’d prefer it be my personal preference than someone else’s. But my SO doesn’t really care. He knows how much I love and enjoy my jewelry. It’d be like me telling him he couldn’t get some new mod on his car because I didn’t like the way it looked or sounded or me refusing to buy his car related gifts if I didn’t like them(even though I do, lol)

    Your SO sounds like he wants you to choose what , so I wouldn’t worry about it. It sounds like you being happy with it matter more to him than what it looks like. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    202 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    My husband doesn’t care enough about anything related to fashion/jewelry/accessories to “hate” it.  He’s indifferent and at most, I’d get a comment like “I think that looks funny/weird.”  I wear outfits he doesn’t care for all the time and I’d definitely wear a ring he didn’t care for.  He told me when were were dating that he thought Chanel handbags looked weird and I just laughed and told him he’s silly and clueless about fashion.  Am I going to not use a certain handbag because he thinks it looks weird?  Hell no.

    When we were ring shopping, he asked me for a picture of the ring I wanted since he had no opinions on rings.  When I asked him how he thought the ring looked, he just shrugged and said that he’s not the one wearing it and all that matters is it’s the ring I love.  I would find it off putting and controlling for a guy to have strong opinions on the stuff I wear, including jewelry.

    It sounds like your BF wants you to get the ring you love, so I wouldn’t worry about it even if he “hates” it.  I really can’t imagine any (straight) man getting into a tizzy over a halo on a ring.

    Post # 20
    Member
    1368 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

     

    GirlyGirl24:  No i wouldnt get a ring he hated. it is a gift from him – and an expensive gift at that.  So i would want a ring that he was proud of. 

    My DH picked out my ering 100% on his own…and it is perfect.  i still catch him looking at it and smiling with pride over how well he did. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    602 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    View original reply
    GirlyGirl24:  I said depends… because if that ring is seriously the one that your BF thinks is “UGLY” then he is crazy!! HAHA! That ring is stunning!! I could understand if the ring was crazy out there and they didn’t like it… but if my Fiance said he didn’t like solitaires (my ring) i would tell him too bad I love it! But then, my fiance wouldn’t say that because he just wants me to be happy with the ring I got!

    Post # 22
    Member
    1262 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

    View original reply
    GirlyGirl24:  I think it has to be a happy compromise. It has to be something that  you love but something that he doesn’t hate – he is giving it to you so he wants to be excited to show the awesome ring he gave you. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    817 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    My fiance doesn’t LOVE my ring the way I do.

    We got it custom made based on a ring I loved that nothing else compared to. It’s dainty and perfect for me. He would have chosen either something very large, or a multiple stone ring, because he likes the very flashy/blingy look. That is SO far from me though. I like vintage things, with lots of delicate fine detail… He typically likes more modern, sleek, but blingy looks. How we work so well together i’ll never understand. lol

    He kept thinking my ring was too small, and still I think he kinda wishes we got a bigger center stone (but I tried them on and didn’t like them for me). but Now that I’ve been wearing the ring for almost 4 months, and he sees that I adore it so much, I think it’s grown on him too. I see him starting to compare other peoples engagement rings to mine and scrunch up his nose at the different options thinking “yours is prettier”. So if you truly love it, I think eventually he’d come around.

    Post # 24
    Member
    1334 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    If he’s the one paying for it I would get something we both liked. 

    Fiance and I split my ring cost half/half so we both did the research and chose a setting and stone shape we both liked. He didn’t like the bottom of my ring so I agreed to custom design it with the bottom of one ring and the top of another.

    If he flat out didn’t like my ring I would have just paid for it myself. I wouldn’t want him to feel forced to buy me something he didn’t approve of, especially such a large purchase. 

    Post # 26
    Member
    532 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would get a ring DH doesn’t like. I’m wearing it every day. I don’t care for his wedding band, but I paid for it without a word because he chose it for himself and he has to wear it, not me. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    6252 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    View original reply
    GirlyGirl24:  google the tacori bloom halo. it is really subtle and sort of sits under the main diamond but still adds a little something. perhaps that would be a possible comproimse.

    Post # 28
    Member
    4 posts
    Wannabee

    We chose our rings together and bought them together, but my husband did say this: “You’re the one wearing the ring and I want you to be happy to wear it for the rest of your life, so get what makes you happy.”  I’m a simple kind of person so he knows that I didn’t want anything flashy or gaudy, so I got a nice gemstone.

    Post # 29
    Member
    1729 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    View original reply
    GirlyGirl24:  hmmm first thought was no. because i think he should pick it out as a gift for you. but everyone has their own way of doing things. like he said you are the one going to be wearing it. if you really love it!! you should get it. I honestly dont know if my DH likes either of my rings? i guess he doesnt hate it. 

    Post # 30
    Member
    240 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    This is tough because I can see two trains of thought here:

    My first thought is of course I’d get a ring my boyfriend hated. He’s not the one wearing it and he would want me to be happy with it.

    My second thought is no I wouldn’t want to wear a ring my boyfriend hated because that meant he paid money for something that he didn’t like and I hate that thought.

    So when Fiance and I went ring shopping, I picked 3 styles that I loved and he picked his favorite of the three and that’s the one I’m wearing now. 

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