(Closed) Would you get married just because you're pregnant?

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
691 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Some people want to be married when the baby arrives, it actually makes a lot of sense. If that is important to her then she should be married, no questions asked.

 

Post # 4
Member
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I would wait! I would never never never want to be pregnant at my wedding! But thats just me, Ive been planning my dream day for my whole life and would wwait a bit longer to see it come around

Post # 5
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

No, I would not. But I would also never dream of accepting a proposal from someone I had only dated for a few weeks. If anything, a man who asked me to marry him in such a short period of time would lead me to probably stop answering his phone calls. 

Post # 6
Member
8999 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Nope.

Being married is not a requirement to have babies, and being married won’t solve the underlying factors of a relationship if they exist.

 

“Even though, they’ve only been together about 10 months.”

I got married after being with a man for 9 months. My husband and I started dating in March. He proposed in October. We were married in December. Age of a relationship means nothing.

Post # 8
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

DH and I were planning on getting married June 8, 2013 and we found out we were pregnant and moved the date UP to December 30, 2012. We ended up miscarrying, but went ahead with the wedding anyway (because we love each other and were planning on marriage anyway, so why wait?)

However, I would never get married to someone just because I was pregnant. If I hadn’t been planning already with DH for a wedding, I wouldn’t have started just to be married before having the baby.

 

Post # 9
Member
6711 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2050

@roweboat:  I misunderstood your question at first. I thought you were asking is pregnancy a good reason to marry someone that you otherwise would not be marrying. My answer to that would be no, of course not. But it seems like you’re actually asking about people who planned on marrying anyway. If you were already engaged to the person, and discovered you were pregnant, is that a good reason to get married sooner rather than later. My answer to that is yes. If you are planning to marry anyway, and if it is important to you to be married when the baby is born, it is perfectly valid and understandable that you would decide to have a quick JOP marriage. That makes much more sense to me than putting it off so you can have a fancier party.

Post # 10
Member
9256 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@SeaSalt:  Word.

Op, I’m sorry about your friend. That’s a tough situation to be in and it hope it works out. I would ask her once if she’s *sure* she wants to marry this guy right away, as it’d be so much harder to break up if it doesn’t work out.  Of course age of a relationship does mean something, and you’re right to be wary.  But if she’s sure, just support her however you can…

Post # 13
Member
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes, I’d have a legal ceremony before and go on with a larger wedding celebration later – I know a few people that have done this.

Post # 15
Member
5554 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

Well, as a pp said there are two different issues, one is someone.getting married because they got pregnant and the other is getting married sooner because they got pregnant. I have a friend who got married because she already had a kid and got pregnant with this guy but he decided he didn’t want to be a daddy and left. Had they not been pregnant they wouldn’t have gotten married and that was a poor plan on their part. I think if a couple was already planning Om marrying but greys pregnant and moves up that date that makes sense.  Plus I don’t find it wise to spend a large amount of money on a fancy wedding when you have a baby on the way unless you are very co comfortable and have a lot of savings. 

Post # 16
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Nope, DH and I had an unplanned pregnancy after a year of dating and we didn’t even get engaged until she was 1 1/2 years because we wanted to get married because of our relationship, not because of the baby. 

Plus, I really can’t testify that there would have been any advantages to being married before having DD.

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