(Closed) Would you give this guy another chance?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you call this guy?
    Yes, why not? : (41 votes)
    46 %
    No way! : (48 votes)
    54 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    288 posts
    Helper bee

    If he is willing to go NC I would consider giving him a second chance, however that would be my one condition to start back dating him again. 

    My biggest issue is this…I’ve been drunk off my rear end and would never, ever accidentally sleep with an ex. I would not move forward if the ex would be hanging out with all of his friends on a regular basis or if there is no way he can or wants to NC.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by  acesandeights.
    Post # 3
    Member
    1135 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    Run for the hills, girl!!!!!!

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by Profile Photo tessadub.
    Post # 4
    Member
    2180 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Mostly I would be wary of someone whose response to “I don’t know if we should see each other, let’s get some space” is to spill his guts to a person a couple degrees removed from you, knowing you’ll hear from him through the grapevine. Not super respectful of boundaries and a little guilt-trippy and weird. And yeah, he’s obviously not over his ex if he swan dives into bed with her first chance he gets. Not on you, and it wasn’t infidelity, but it sounds like he needs more time to be single.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by  Speck_.
    Post # 5
    Member
    4815 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    redmango:   I’d forget him and keep looking.   

    Post # 6
    Member
    4073 posts
    Honey bee

    redmango:  If I were to give him another shot, I would have to take things very slow. If he can’t respect that, he’s not the guy for you. He didn’t cheat on you; as you stated, you weren’t exclusive. But again, I’d be cautious if I were to even give it another shot at all. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    2109 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Nope, I would move on. Sounds like something is a little off if all it takes is a few drinks for him to sleep with his ex while talking to someone he likes… There are tons of men out there without ex issues.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1324 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    he may be a nice guy, but i don’t think he’s ready and it’s not worth investing yourself into. you can do better! 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1455 posts
    Bumble bee

    If you reeeeeeally really like him then I’d give him another chance. He’s probably not completely over her though, so I would start slow, keep it casual

    Post # 10
    Member
    2681 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

    I’ve had my fair share of really drunk nights and I have never ever slept with someone else while I was in relationship or heavily infatuated with someone else.

    I would move on. I don’t think I would be able to trust him again if I knew he would be drinking!

    Post # 11
    Member
    444 posts
    Helper bee

    Nope, don’t give him a second chance. Biggest red flag for me is the fact that he ghosted you after he slept with his ex. No explanation whatsoever until you contacted him first. Then, after the break up, instead of trying to contact you himself if he’s sooo into you still, he talks to someone else knowing the info will get back to you. A man worth your time would be direct with you. He is very obviously incapable of that. Mooove on.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1810 posts
    Buzzing bee

    NO. A resounding no. There are too many other men out there who would never use alcohol as an exucse to sleep with an ex and then not call his new potential long term/real deal gf. You didn’t overreact…that’s why they say the first reaction is oftentimes the right one. Stay strong.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1451 posts
    Bumble bee

    pumilionis:  I agree with this.

    The fact that he completely disappeared for days until you reached out to him is a big red flag.  Sure you guys were not exclusive, but you had already formed a bond and a man who is serious and ready for a relationship would have:

    a)  Sat you down and had a talk with you about this, and not disappeared.  Even if he didn’t share the gory details, the least he could’ve done was tell you he needed some time to think over some things and needed space.

    b)  He could have been honest with you that he has some stuff he needs to work out and that he truly likes you, but needs some time to figure his sh*t out.

    You are very wise to give pause over this guy.  He might be a truly nice guy on the inside, but right now he’s not the one for you.  You just got out of a relationship with a dishonest man, protect your heart and don’t jump into a relationship with a man who cannot be 100% honest with you (disappearing and going MIA with no explanation is still a big fat lie).

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    2868 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    redmango:  Can you just date him without getting into a relationship too quickly. He was kind of on the rebound before, it might not happen again but take it very slow

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