(Closed) Would you go?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would You go?
    Yes, it's really no big deal : (2 votes)
    2 %
    No, Awkward! : (114 votes)
    97 %
    Other, Explain please: : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3580 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I wouldn’t go.  You know they originally didn’t want you there PLUS you know the expense of adding two more people.  I would wrote a lovely note back thanking them, wishing them the best, but that you can’t make it.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3943 posts
    Honey bee

    No, I wouldn’t go and I wouldn’t invite them to my wedding.

    Post # 5
    Member
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    … I think that is majorly awkward! I probably would decline politely. I also don’t think  you would need to bring a gift in this case if you did go.

    Post # 6
    Member
    5075 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I wouldn’t go and wouldn’t invite them.  It’s not your fault they reacted that way.

    Post # 8
    Member
    853 posts
    Busy bee

    @WillyNilly: Agreed! Their invite obviously arose out of awkwardenss, so I would politely decline. I don’t think you need to invite them to yours either.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1351 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    No way. Don’t feel bad! I wouldn’t go, especially after the meal. They’ve got everything finalized it seems, and not enough space to feed you guys. I don’t think you should feel obg to invite them to yours either.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1676 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I wouldn’t go. It definitely sounds awkward and like it’s more trouble than it’s worth. Then again, I never go to weddings unless I’m close with the couple for this very reason (plus, I have no interest in buying a gift for random almost strangers). 

    Post # 11
    Member
    1361 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would not go, and I would not buy them a gift whether you go or not.  If they aren’t paying for your dinner, you don’t need to get them a present.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1513 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    i voted other because i wouldnt go, but mostly because it would be annoying having to get a gift last minute and i am lazy. i wouldnt be offended by being invited late or being a non-dinner guest though. as someone paying for her own wedding, i get how expensive things can be and it seems like they meant well with the extension of an invite (even if it wasnt exactly miss manners-friendly)! as PP said, if you arent comfortable, just decline gracefully. 

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    46465 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If you only see them a few times a year at random events, I would neither expect them to extend an invitation nor would I attend.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1114 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I wouldn’t go.  Maybe send a card with FI’s parents or brother to congratulate them, but gracefully decline the invite.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1111 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Hell no.  It’s a pity invite, and I would feel SO WEIRD there.

    (I wouldn’t be offended by it or anything, but I would have zero interest in attending their wedding on a last-minute “dance only” invitation…  I mean, they didn’t even invite you themselves!  I say skip it and don’t invite them to your wedding unless you really, actually want to.)

    ETA: Just for the record, guests are not expected to bring a gift if they are invited to the dance only.  (I know guests are never “expected” to bring gifts, but you know what I mean.  Dance only = No gift.)

    Post # 16
    Member
    1736 posts
    Bumble bee

    Yup – agree with all. Gracefully decline and don’t invite them to yours.

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