(Closed) Would you go back to work after kids if you didn't have to?

posted 5 years ago in Babies
Post # 2
2814 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think this is something to decide after you have the baby and use your mat-leave.

When I had my daughter, I BEGGED my husband to find a way for me to be a Stay-At-Home Mom. I loved being a mom, and it was the one thing I felt like I was really good at. I couldn’t imagine not being the one to raise my daughter.

I had to go back to work after my year of mat-leave was over, and I thought it would be awful…surpisingly though, I actually kind of enjoyed being back at work. A big portion of my pay does go to childcare, but I see the benefit my daughter gets from being around other kids, and I enjoy getting out and working as well. I do work full time however, and it can be very tiresome to balance everything.

I am now pregnant with baby #2 and we do plan for me to stay home after this one, as I would not be bringing home nearly enough after paying for two kids in daycare (like $150 a week!). I have decided to work an evening here and there after my year of mat leave is up, just to get out of the house, and my oldest child will still go to daycare a day or two a week to remain social.

Take your first year of mat leave to feel things out. It’s important to try to find a balance so that you feel fufilled, finances are being met, your little one is getting the interaction they need, and you’re spending time with your fiance (keeping your relationship strong).

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by  urchin.
Post # 3
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I wouldn’t go back to work, personally. I love being home with my baby and I want to be the one who raises her. I also hate my job though, so that would make the decision easy for me. I’m working about 2 days a week right now. Dear Daughter is almost 7 months old.

Post # 4
9135 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Yep.  I stayed home for 5 months once and went a little crazy.  I know it will be different with a baby but honestly I like interacting with people at work and I know I would get bored and/or stir crazy staying home.

Post # 5
3378 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

missjewels:  I think it really depends on what you find fulfilling and how much you enjoy your job.  If the financial aspect doesn’t matter as much (you can make ends meet on your husband’s salary), then what is going to make you happy?  Do you want to go back to work?  You didn’t give us your own opinion on the matter in your whole post, just the facts of income and time off and such.

For me, I wouldn’t go back for awhile (and this is my plan) – we can factor our budget on DH’s income, I can teach online (a class or two at a time) to bring in extra income, and I would rather be at home with my children when they are little.  That’s what I believe will make me happy, but you need to figure out what’s going to be fulfilling and satisfying for you.

Post # 6
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Absolutely! I suppose I might change my tune once I actually have kids, but I can’t imagine not wanting to work, at least part-time. 

Post # 7
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Regardless of how well off Darling Husband and I may be, I believe that it’s important for a baby/a child to have a routine. Mixing it up with a day off here and we wake up at 9 a.m. and 3 days there where the baby is dropped off at 6 a.m. could possibly cause a disruption in routine for our child. Also it’s important to us to socialize our baby at an early age in order to reduce the risk of behavioral issues once they have to go to daycare exclusively.

Some kids who stay home or just in an environment without other children can sometimes take longer to adjust to sharing and not having someone’s undivided attention. We don’t want this potential problem so we’re sending baby to daycare after 10-12 weeks. Also, we are very much interested in starting on the journey of personal balance between adult life/professional life and home life.

These are all opinions and our plan. We are not judging anyone else’s decision.

Post # 8
7310 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I went back to work when DS was 3 or 4 weeks old. Part of it was financial necessity, but the other part was mental necessity. Some people are cut out to be SAHMs. I am not one of them. I need adult interaction, mental stimulation, and the satisfaction I derive from working. Being a parent is work, but I also need paid work in order to feel like myself.

Post # 9
5474 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I went back to work full time when Dear Daughter was just shy of 6 weeks old.  Partly, I needed to be at work, out of the house, doing my job for my own mental sanity!  I love my job, and I enjoy spending time with my baby, but I needed to have more balance in my life.  I was ready to go back when she was about a month old, but I needed medical clearance first.

I anticipated a tough transition, and prepared accordingly.  I went back to work on a Thursday, so I only had a 2 day work week.  This gave me a chance to feel out a pumping schedule, a morning routine, etc before jumping in full time right away.  Also, Mother-In-Law came to the house to watch Dear Daughter until she had her 8 week appointment (and vaccines).  At that point, I started sending her part time to a babysitter’s house, and Mother-In-Law still comes twice a week.

I can absolutely see dropping to part time, but I can’t picture myself NOT working outside of the home.  I can honestly say that I feel like a more attentive mother, more patient parent, since I have a good balance between being my own professional individual and being a mom.  I find that the time I do spend with Dear Daughter is more valuable, I enjoy it more, and we make sure we get extra snuggles on the weekends (aka I take a nap with her haha).

It all boils down to what YOU want to do and what your family financial situation requires or allows.

Post # 10
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

missjewels:  If it was working outside the home then I would not. Since I work from home it is not a big deal.

I have a cousin who could not be a Stay-At-Home Mom though, she needed to be out of the house some days, she needed that interaction with adults everyday. So she works part time & when her husband is working I watch her kids till her mom gets off work.

My kids are older, all 3 in school, and I am planning to go back into the workforce in the fall but I am trying to get a job as a school nurse or either work hours at the hospital that coincide with their daily schedules. IF, my Fiance and I are able to have another child once we get married in Dec, then I will go back to working from home to be with the new baby.

Post # 11
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

My baby is 4 months old and I’ll be going back to work full time in November. In all honesty, staying at home is killing me and I’d love to go back sooner. i’m just not cut out to be a Stay-At-Home Mom.

Post # 12
3223 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I would like to go back to work at least part time when I have kids, if nothing else to keep current with my job skills in case my SO needs to quit his job, or in case something happens to my relationship with him (death, separation) and I need to support myself and children.

Post # 13
3209 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

If I had stable means to do so, I would remain at home. I would still send my baby/child to daycare a few times a week for socialization and to give myself a break though. 

Post # 14
244 posts
Helper bee

Sorry OP, I don’t have advice. I just wanted to say WOW! A full year’s maternity leave?? Where I come from you get maternity leave from the last month of pregnancy, and the first 3 months after the baby is born. I would love a whole year with a new baby

Post # 15
6883 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You bet I would go back to work. Do not get me wrong I absolutely love my son and being a mother but being a Stay-At-Home Mom is so not for me.  I need adult interaction

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