- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
I have had a friend since childhood. She has always been the most amazing, smart, caring and beautiful person inside and out. About 2 years ago she started dating a guy who no one liked- off and on. She changed completely. She ignored her friends, and her family. She became a party animal and started making some bad choices. She used to be so..elegant? That all changed. She showed up to my mom’s funeral last summer in a club dress. Black..mini..with cut outs on her stomach and stripper heels. She grew up around my mom..and when she was in hospice she never once visited (2 minute drive away). However, she was my friend. And she was allowed to make mistakes- I’ve made a few myself. Well, right before my wedding this past November she broke up with that guy (YAY!) but started dating a new man…
We found out 1 month before my wedding (about 2 weeks into them dating) that he was arrested for violating probation. He has a buglary charge, drug charges, two DUIs..etc. Not to mention he had a 3 year old with another woman. He spent a month in jail..she spent the entire wedding attached to her phone to see if he would call from prison (he was due out the next day)
Well, in December after 2 months of dating she found out she was pregnant too. She dropped out of senior year of college, and drove him around every day since he lost his license. I have made numerous efforts to reach out to her. Calls, texts, care packages, throwing her a bday party, driving her to meet her BF after she wrecked her car…without ANY thank yous…she just expected it. I only heard from her when she needed something.
She told me she had no one to throw her a shower. I felt terrible, so I offered. I started planning a little over a month ago. Spent about 300 in one day buying all the decor, favors, games, prizes, etc. I asked her for a guest list..just asked her to keep it under 25 if possible.
WELL..after no reply for days0 she said that I could be in charge of throwing ONE of her showers. But she has THIRTY friends she wanted to invite, and that includes no family..so I could throw her “friend” shower..and she would have another shower of Family…50+ people invited (unless I was willing to throw the whole thing…which I wasn’t able to accommodate that many people). After that I didn’t hear from her..no guest list..no chats to catch up. This went on for a week, and the shower was supposed to be in a couple weeks. So I emailed her telling her that I was not going to be able to throw the shower (I know, that sounds awful…but I couldn’t keep spending time and money when she wouldn’t give me ANY details, any effort..I don’t even know WHO these 30+ friend are?? She lost pretty much all her friends this past year). I told her I needed more from her as a friend or I was afraid that I couldn’t keep putting myself out there and feeling unappreciated. She told me that things WILL NOT change, and she is sorry I feel that way- but she needs to focus on herself. Ok, that was a month ago. No contact since.
Today she asked me for my address to invite me to her shower..
Part of me is so done..I haven’t missed her..I miss who she was- but not who she is now.
The other part of me says to try one more time, knowing that she will not appreciate my attendance or my gift off of her over 200-item registry..
Kudos to you if you read this all..
WOULD YOU GO?