Post # 1
I am new here and have a question regarding a friend of mine.
Invites have not yet gone out for my wedding, but I had my friend ask me if I was giving her a +1. She does not have a LTR, but just started seeing a guy and wants to ask him to go. I told her that we could not because we are trying to cut back on the list as is, but when we get the RSVPs back I would see if there was room. She said that sounded great!
Later, I hear from our mutual friend that she now does not want to go unless she can bring a date.
I am super bummed. I am now going through my guest list to try to see who her date can replace. I really don’t want to make waves and she is my friend and I need her there. Arg!!
Is this a normal thing? Am I going to have people not come because they can’t bring a date? Oh my!!
Post # 3
How long has she been seeing him? Anything other than “We are going to get married someday.” is not enough when you’re budget crunching.
Post # 4
@MissHoneyBun: At the moment, it has been about a month.
Post # 5
@mrsdan: uuuh and she’s saying she’s gonna skip out on your wedding for some guy that she probably won’t be with come the wedding date? She’s not much of a friend…
Post # 6
Well I might go it depends But im engaged and we have 2 kids together its not like we just started dating
But If they have only been together a month then i dont see why you should have to invite him too…
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia
Personally, no – not for a month, and not if numbers are tight.
Personally, I’ve gone to weddings on my own, but that’s usually when I know someone else who’s there. If I would know NOBODY? I would probably pass.
Post # 8
I, personally, would go to a friend’s wedding solo to show my support. However, I would rather, especially if I were dating someone, go with a date.
Are there people at the wedding she’ll know and be comfortable enough to dance with? I would definitely leave early if I didn’t have anyone to dance with, but if mutual friends were there, drinking and having a good time, I would be more inclined to stay.
Post # 9
Is she wanting to go with this specific person, or does she just want an extra spot for her reserved?
How sad that she cannot be without a date for one night so she can be there for you. And how nice that you are trying to accomodate her,
Post # 10
@jaguar:I agree with everything you said.
Not to mention I agree with Bun as well. I would NEVER miss a good friend’s wedding if I couldn’t bring my new dude I’ve dated all of a month. That speaks volumes to me.
Post # 11
Um why cant she hang out with your mutual friends?
Post # 12
We are not having + 1’s at all (with the exception of people who are in relationships). We are anticipating that some people might have a problem with this, but seriously, skipping out on your wedding because she cant bring the new guy, not cool.
I do not think people realize how difficult the planning gets when everyone starts making their own little demands! 🙂 You cannot accommodate everyone (easy to say, but hard to follow…..I know) Good luck!
Post # 13
The whole plus 1 thing really bugs me.
Its not just a matter of budget, I don’t want a lot of strangers there on my wedding day or to have to sacrifce peope you want there for someone you’ve never met.
I’d say if she doesn’t know anyone else then consider it so she has someone to talk to, but if you have mutual friends then a relationship of one month does not justify a plus 1!
Post # 14
that depends, I’ve gone without a date, not becase I didn’t have a +1 or SO but becasue he couldn’t make it. I knew a lot of people there so I didn’t care. If I wouldn’t know anyone I prob wouldn’t go.
Post # 15
Does she know the other singles that will be there? (not the other couples.. other singles who will be in the same boat as her)
How close of friends are you and her?
It may be what you overheard is her expressing outloud what she already has to you. She is really hoping, big time, she will be allowed to bring a date. So that pretty much does say that she really doesn’t want to go without her date, but doesn’t mean that she is saying she *won’t* go without him. But for now, she still has her hopes waaay up there. Maybe that was how it was meant?
One other thing, if it is $ that is the issue mainly, is there any way that she could pay for her date’s plate in advance? That could be a solution maybe 🙂
Post # 16
@mrsdan: I haven’t read through all the previous comments, but I think it really depends who you have to cut in order for this guy to attend. I mean, if a close family member won’t be able to come because of a guy your friend has known for a month, then she should just suck it up. I’ve had alot of fun at weddings minus a date (maybe more? haha).