Post # 1
This is actually my first post as a married bee! I’m coming back to the board for it’s infinite wisdom. I’m not sure if I’m posting this in the right spot, so please bear with me.
Anyway, here’s my issue: My husband and I were married September 2015. One of my husband’s good friends from high school, Scott, and his fiance (who we’ve never met) were no shows. Our wedding was on Sunday, and we didn’t hear anything from him until Monday afternoon, when we were actually in the airport on our way to our honeymoon. My husband got one text from him, it said something like, “Josh! I’m so sorry we weren’t there yesterday! I got stuck at work and it ruined everything. But the pictures look amazing, congrats man!” Something like that. Now, I might just be bitter, but I HIGHLY suspect that Scott honestly just forgot about our wedding, and when he saw some pictures on facebook that night, he rememebered. Because why not call or even text my husband the day of to let him know he can’t make it? You’re really stuck at work so badly that you’re unable to even send a quick text you let someone know you won’t make their wedding?? Again, I may just be bitter, but it seems fishy to me and I don’t buy it.
Also, we never got a gift or card from him afterwards.
So, a couple weeks after our wedding, we get his save the date in the mail. Their wedding is in July. And I don’t know if I want to go. I’m still really annoyed with him. Am I wrong for not wanting to? What would you do? I really appreciate everyone’s opinions and insights on this, thanks in advance.
Post # 2
I wouldn’t go. Life is too short to.waste time on rude people.
Post # 3
I wouldn’t go — but I’d also at least RSVP to tell them so rather than just no show.
Post # 4
Sometimes people don’t realize how important wedding things are to the bride and groom until they themselves are getting married. Are you sure it’s not possible that he was too busy at work to make it? Is your husband still good friends with this person? Things will get better with time. If your husband wants to go, I wouldn’t boycott.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t go, wouldn’t get them a gift or card, and WOULD rsvp no just to be better than them.
Petty? Probably. But fuck it.
Post # 6
It would depend on the nature of my husband’s realtionship with Scott. If they are still close and have regular contact, maybe. If he was only invited because of a high school friendship that is no longer maintained, probably not.
ps I would leave this out of any decision making.
Also, we never got a gift or card from him afterwards
Post # 7
I do think he should have sent a card but if your husband is somewhat close to this guy well it might be something to forgive in forget. Afterall, he did acknowledge it. I had a semi-close friend from high school (was a bridesmaid in her first wedding, she eloped in her second), her husband and two kids no show at my wedding. Not so much as an oops, sorry or congratulations. I could have invited four other people that I had to cut to invite her. On the other hand though, my DH RSVP’d yes to a wedding a few weeks after ours for a close friend of his from college and didn’t book a flight thinking he’d drive out. After our wedding and honeymoon, he was exhausted and flight prices had tripled in price so he had to cancel a week before. He paid for the group accomodations and we sent a card and a gift along. Sometimes things happen.
Post # 8
Sounds petty. They may not have wanted to be negative on your day so they waited.
two wrongs don’t make a right
Post # 9
I’d go. Life’s too short to hold grudges and I’d rather repair a damaged bridge than finish burning it down.
Post # 10
I’d passive the aggressive the heck out of this. People like this grind my gears. Sorry bee!
Post # 11
I wouldn’t go, but would RSVP yes to screw them over (: but I’m vengeful like that.
Post # 12
So they RSVP’ed and no showed? Kind of a jack*ss move! My vengeful side would want to RSVP and not show but I could never do it. How does DH feel, since it’s his friendship? I would probably follow his lead on this one, if it were me. If you go And there’s an open bar, I would thoroughly enjoy it.
Post # 13
Your husband’s friend, his call.
It really doesnt seem worth ending a friendship over and certainly not for your DH. You don’t know what was going on with the friend. Let it go.
Post # 14
Nope. Unless there is a true emergency involved — and being stuck at work is not a true emergency…take it from someone who had an all-consuming job for several years, I would never have missed a friend’s wedding for work — there is no excuse for missing someone’s wedding. I would not continue to be friends with this person if I were you, let alone attend their wedding.
Post # 15
I think a key point here is that we are all ladies who have or are planning a wedding. We know the time, effort, expense it takes. Generally, not always, men do not have the same understanding. It doesn’t give the make friend an excuse. He will most likely reailze how rude he was during the course of helping plan his own wedding. Karma will bite him and he will learn.