Post # 47
Okay….I’m having a bad day, i didn’t sleep at all last night …i talked to my mom and brother and explained everything why me and this cousin didn’t get along and why i didn’t want her there and some of the things she said during the phone call yesterday that made me uncomfortable and Now everyone “understands” why i didn’t want her there in the first place hindsights always 20/20 …..i told my Fi and he also feels bad for me….
I really wish i wouldn’t have allowed myself to be manipulated my family keeps saying not to do it but I really want to call her back and tell her i thought it over and i’m just not comfortable with her coming and we both know we aren’t really close anymore….
But she clearly wants something to tell people to blame me for having a problem with her as the reason for the non-invite why can’t she just be mature enough not to come without gossiping all over our family? Why does she have to try and ruin my reputation among other family members because she and i don’t get along…
I really want to call her back ….does there really have to be some huge offense other than not getting along or being uncomfortable to rescind a verbal invite?
Post # 48
@ambereyez: You could use the old “I’m sorry but I didnt realize we ran out of seats” route maybe? Or you could be blunt with her and lay out the reasons why you don’t want her. You run the risk of alienating family though
Do you think she would say or do something on your wedding day? Can you have your mother or your Maid/Matron of Honor run interference and make sure she does not not near you? Or have our mother/FI call and tell her she had better behave at the wedding?
I would take glee in the fact that she gets to see in at be most beautiful and marrying my best friend
Post # 49
@ambereyez: I wouldn’t call her back and rescind, I don’t know the true history of you two, but it seems that this would further exacerbate the problem.
Focus on your wedding, have no further communication with her,…… but this is just me, it is what i would do,
Post # 50
i think you should let buy gones be by gones. I could understand the no invite if she were a friend, but she’s family and at the end of the family is all you got.
Post # 51
I already cast my vote.
But, I’m pulling for you. And I’m sending you good vibes.
Post # 52
@ambereyez: now you adding fuel to the fire. Its done. She’s invited. Leave it alone. This is nothing to “win” at. The best win is focus on the dozens of other people who are there to fully support you. Your losing sleep on this and I gurantee she’s sleeping just fine.
Post # 53
okay bees…..whats done is done……I will just do my best to be okay with it, you guys always have helped me with honest feedback and i appreciate the support….
@axeyourmakeupkit: thanks so much i do appreciate you rooting for me
@LuvMySailor: Good point I need to focus on myself and having a beautiful day not someone with the wrong motives for attending who happens to share my blood line.
Post # 54
Tell her its a recession. you cant afford to feed people you havent seen in almost half a decade
Post # 55
I’m also going to go against the grain. I do think it looks extremely petty if you’ve invited all your extended family except for her. Guaranteed your family will not understand your tiff with her nor will they care. They will only see you as being a divider and the one at fault.
Post # 57
Maybe she is using this as an opportunity to get back in contact with you. There are a lot of people I don’t speak to who I wish would reach out. Such is life. If you’re deadset on never speaking to her again, then so be it. But if you had a tiff in the past, maybe this is a good chance to move on and forge something new.
Post # 59
Wow, she’s the only family member not invited? That’s actually quite rude of you to invite everyone else in your family and exlude this one cousin simply because you no longer get along. Family never always gets along.
I agree with your brother, weddings are a family affair, unless you choose to elope you are required to invite your family.
Post # 60
@Tiffmorris: Actually you’re not required to invite anyone.