(Closed) Would you go to this baby shower?

posted 7 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Would you attend a baby shower under these circumstances?

    Suck it up and Go

    Skip it

    Other- please explain below

  • Post # 32
    2780 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @odynsmom  They have done horrible things to your Fi’s mother, is she planning on attending? Unless the other actual relatives that have issues attend also as a way to bury the hatchet and have a relationship with them, I would not attend. 

    Post # 33
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I personally would not attend solely because they’ve been nothing but jerks to you and badmouthing you. I don’t think you should have to attend a party for anyone that clearly doesn’t like you (or maybe even hates you). However, this is still your niece/nephew and I can’t see punishing an innocent party, so I agree with PP in terms of sending a modest gift for the baby.

    I can understand them wanting all new stuff (despite not being able to afford it). I’m assuming it’s baby no. 1 and as such, they’re probably caught up in all the excitement of planning and packing for a new baby. I also can understand throwing your own shower, despite it being an etiquette no-no, because I was tempted to do so. Although, that was because our potential host/hostesses are of limited means and we didn’t want to burden them with the costs. In addition, DH and I can afford everything on our own so it was more because people wanted us to have one than us actually needing one.

    Post # 34
    2947 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 1998

    I wouldn’t go. Seems like your only being invited so they receive more presents! I’d wait until the baby is born and I’d give a present for the baby then. 

    Post # 35
    7199 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @odynsmom  Because of 6, 7 & 9 I wouldn’t go. The throwing the shower themselves & not wanting used stuff would rub me the wrong way, but it isn’t a deal breaker for me. The other stuff has nothing to do with you, so if it were me it wouldn’t factor into my decision. But them treating me and my husband poorly? Yeah. You aren’t getting any cute baby stuff from me. 

    Post # 36
    533 posts
    Busy bee

    I’m not a fan of baby showers, usually try and avoid them like the plague. From what you’ve written I wouldn’t go. Just make up you are working or something like that.

    Post # 37
    4369 posts
    Honey bee

    Why even go? They don’t seem like they want to have a relationship with you and your DH.

    Post # 38
    543 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @odynsmom  dont go. seriously

    they sound like horrible, rude people. why put yourself in a situation you are uncomfortable with?

    if you feel bad for the baby, maybe send something you can afford to them via mail.

    not necessarily what they registered for if it is expensive/name brand, but something of equal quality.

    Post # 39
    2852 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Don’t go. Send a small and practical gift like diapers and a onesie, with a nice note attached saying you wish them well and congratulations on becoming parents. Take the high road, but the one where you don’t have to see their faces 😉

    Post # 40
    1144 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    This late for an invite I would RSVP no that I was busy. I wouldn’t send a gift. Sometimes sending a small gift or card makes things worse than sending no gift at all.

    Post # 41
    1670 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    View original reply
    @odynsmom  +1 This sounds like the perfect plan.


    View original reply
    @odynsmom  This situation sucks, I’m sorry. They do seem like they are using you. Just do what has been suggested. They probably won’t appreciate anything given to them anyway. Maybe you could even throw in a nice parenting book or something.


    Although I would have to disagree that throwing yourself a shower is an ettitquite no-no. My friends are not interested in babies and don’t have a lot of money, I wouldn’t ask them to throw me a party they couldn’t afford. 

    Post # 42
    11736 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Baby showers benefit the baby. I don’t think it’s fair to take out your issues with bil and sil on unborn baby who didn’t do anything. Just my two cents though. I love my nephews and can’t imagine not being involved in their lives as much as possible.

    Post # 44
    999 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @odynsmom  I don’t think it’s wrong to throw your own baby shower, also I want all new stuff for my baby, who wouldn’t.

    since you have bad blood, I think you should skip but do send a gift.

    Post # 46
    502 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I wouldn’t waste my time going, but I’d send a small gift.

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