(Closed) Would You Go To This Wedding?

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Would You Go To This Wedding?
    YES, I would spend the money and go. : (12 votes)
    9 %
    NO, I would save my $, send a gift and decline. : (118 votes)
    89 %
    OTHER - explain below. : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    1876 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Would you consider going without FI? Is there anyone else you know that you could go and share a room with? if you really can’t afford it, then no I would not go.

    Post # 4
    1769 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I wouldn’t. A wedding invitation isn’t a sumons, and you aren’t even that close to this girl. If it was your sister, or your best friend, then I’d say try and go. But for a girl you see maybe twice a year and aren’t close with any more? I see my hairstylist more than that and I’m not going to her wedding!

    How much work a wedding is shouldn’t make you feel bad. You could feel bad if you RSVPed yes and then flaked out at the last minute, but RSVPing no is an option – that’s why it’s on the card.

    Post # 5
    46654 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would not spend $1000 plus the cost of a gift and two days vacation pay to attend the wedding of someone I am not close to.

    I would send my regrets and best wishes.

    Post # 6
    523 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I would send a nice gift along with my regrets and see if maybe she and her new husband would like to come over/go out for dinner to celebrate about a month or so after their wedding. I’m sure she’ll understand.

    Post # 7
    892 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I would send a nice gift with a declined invitation. I wouldn’t even consider going with a cost like that if you are trying to save for your own wedding and you aren’t even close with this girl anymore.

    Post # 8
    1634 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I’m selfish with my time off. You need to be a bestie for me to take off and fly somewhere.  Send a gift. 

    Post # 9
    326 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I do think that you shouldn’t go to this wedding, especially because you aren’t all that close to this girl and you don’t know her Fiance.

    If you feel bad saying no, just send your regrets, and if she asks about it, tell her that you couldn’t afford to come (its the truth). People who schedule weddings on Fridays and/or out of state should know that many people who would otherwise be there will not be able to attend their wedding for various (mostly financial) reasons.

    Post # 10
    12247 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I wouldn’t, not for that cost!

    But I would definitely send her a gift and a really thoughtful note!

    Post # 11
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I wouldn’t go to the wedding but maybe take her out to a special lunch and give her a gift before she leaves for her wedding?  That shows a little more effort for an old friend, and your not shelling out alot of money to go to the wedding.  She won’t even spend that much time with you at the wedding.

    Post # 14
    69 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    I personally would not go. That is a lot of money for a very quick weekend trip for someone you aren’t that close to. I like the idea of maybe going out for a nice meal or some sort of girl’s night with her before the wedding. You coud explain the reasons why you cannot go. That seems reasonable to me. It is sad to have to decline the invite to her wedding, but with your own wedding in the future…it’s understandable.

    Post # 15
    2433 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    This is the risk people run by having a non-weekend wedding. We have had to decline Friday weddings also. My Darling Husband has limited vacation days, and we are careful about using them so that he has days available when we actually need them. There was one wedding we were invited to on a Friday afternoon, meaning he would’ve needed to take both Thursday and Friday off work (I realize vacation days are only part of your concern, but that would definitely factor into our decision of whether to attend or not).

    Traveling is extremely expensive, and you have your own wedding coming up. Buy a nice gift and send your well-wishes. I don’t think you’re under any obligation to go. 

    Post # 16
    1797 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think your friend is probably expecting that some people won’t be able to attend her wedding since it is out of town and on a weekday. You also need to factor in both you and your Fiance taking off of work for a day since you may lose even more money on top of the $1,000 that you will be spending. If you can’t afford something it’s that simple. You should never go beyond your means to make it to someone else’s wedding. I don’t think I’d ever spend $1,000 for a flight to someone else’s wedding unless we were super close because $1,000=a decent vacation that is more than just one night in a cheap hotel.

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