Post # 1
A friend of mine’s first child (a boy) is turning 2 in about a month. She’s expecting her 2nd child (a girl) a month after that.
I just got an evite for a shower and I have to admit I felt a little offput.
I know I’m not excited because I feel the dynamics of my friendship with her have changed… am I just being old school in thinking you don’t have a shower for every child? Or should I just suck it up and attend and support my friend.
Post # 3
When my sister had a baby of a different gender I threw her a “Sprinkle”. I however, only invited family and her very closest friends. I would say there was a total of 60 people at her first shower and 15 and her sprinkle.
Post # 4
@oracle: My sister had her son, and immediately had her daughter 11 months later. I felt extremely put off when she asked me to throw her a 2nd shower. A year had not even passed between #1 & #2! Just seems gift grabby. One is enough in my opinion.
ETA: She moved on from me, and got her friend to host the 2nd one.
Post # 5
If someone offered to throw me a small shower, I wouldn’t object. I have an awesome, close group of girlfriends who wouldn’t be upset by a second shower.
Post # 6
I think one is enough, however something like PP mentioned about a sprinkle is cute. I have been to a second child shower though.. it was fine and I brought a gift!
Post # 7
People’s opinion on this topic appears to be very split, (judging from previous boards). I think a shower for each child is absolutely fine. Then there are people who are very much against this.
In your friend’s situaiton, i think it’s especially acceptable because the child is a different gender.
Post # 8
I wouldn’t be put off at all by it personally. I think of baby showers as a way to celebrate having a baby, and I would be happy to celebrate with the expecting parent for each child, not just the first one.
Perhaps just bring a card if you don’t feel a gift is appropriate.
Post # 9
I will also say that I think it depends on who the shower is for. A very good friend of mine refused to have a shower for her 2nd child (different gender) and we had a small sprinkle for her. (I kept trying to tell her to HAVE a shower!)
I think my issue with this mom is that she seems to ‘milk’ the parties. Not necessarily to be gift-grabby – she just LOVES parties. She had about 4 showers for her 1st baby – that was shortly after about 5-6 wedding related showers/events.
Post # 10
i would never have a second shower. maybe a little brunch or something with my close friends. but i’m also the person who would never have a family member host my showers.
for close girlfriends who are on their second child (i’m at that age where my friends are starting to have baby number 2 or 3) i send a gift like a big box of diapers or maybe something personalized for the second baby. i’ve already bought a stroller and a breast pump so you’re not getting another.
Post # 11
Personally I don’t think I’d have a second shower. I’ll let you know if I feel differently once the kids actually come 🙂
Post # 12
I’m due in a few weeks with my second child of a different gender and I didn’t have a shower. I think small get togethers are fine for a second baby (especially a different gender).
We bought everything early on for Dirty Delete so we didn’t really need anything extra. We’re throwing a “sip and see” with just extended families and close friends but we’re requesting no gifts. I just want to feel like we’re celebrating Dirty Delete as we did with DS.
Post # 13
It tends to vary by region. In some circles, they’re common; in others, less so.
For my part, I think that if the children are close in age (-5 years), then it’s more acceptable to have a second shower that’s more about celebrating the birth, as opposed to “showering with gifts.” From an ecological standpoint, it sort of drives me crazy if a couple must have two of everything when certain things can easily be reused. I also don’t think that it matters if the gender has changed, personally. A few gender-specific onesies the kid can wear out, fine, but otherwise, you’re going to tell me that it makes a difference for a baby boy to puke all over pink as opposed to blue or for a baby girl to crap in a blue bouncy chair?
If you go, bring a gift, as it is a shower (I recommend diapers as a gift, provided they’re not going cloth, since any kid can use ’em). If you’re put off by giving a gift, decline.
Post # 14
What I have learned is when it comes to parties of this kind it’s all about the area you live in and your family/social circles.
Where I live you have a shower for each and every kid. I don’t know anyone in my personal life that would even bat an eye at an invite to a shower for a 2nd, 3rd, 4th child. In fact, it wasn’t until I joined this site that I even realized some people don’t do this.
So my advice is do what you’re comfortable with. If you feel a little put out and your relationship isn’t great then RSVP no and send her a congrats card.
Post # 15
My Future Sister-In-Law and I were thrown a joint baby shower (we were due like 3 days apart.) I had a girl and 3 years later when we had our boy, I was also given a shower. Both events were really only family and close friends though and no one seemed to mind. When we had our third (a boy) I didn’t have one. My BFF and Future Mother-In-Law offered to throw one for me, but I declined. Honestly I didn’t really need it, and it felt weird to me because baby #3 was less than 2 years after baby #2.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a shower for second and third babies really.
Post # 16
Hmm I literally have never thought about this. Granted, I don’t have a child nor do any of my close friends… I personally don’t have a problem with 2 showers, but I guess I see why some people would!