Post # 1
I need your help on deciding if having a bridal shower in my case makes sense. My fiance and I still live at home so we need EVERYTHING. However, our budget is quite small so we really need to make a wise decision on this. Here is a list of some pros and cons on having a shower:
1. I’ve always wanted to have a bridal shower.
2. I will have a chance to meet my fiance’s more distant relatives.
3. I will get a porition of household supplies I need (and as I mentioned above, there isn’t anything that we don’t need!)
1. My family will be spending at least $500 on organizing this event – $500 that they don’t really have. (We don’t have space in our place to invite 60 people and neither does anyone else that is close to us so we have to rent the space).
2. Out of the 60 women I’m invitinng maybe 40 will show up. Out of those 40 women at least ten are non-American, older, and have no idea what to do with a registry so it is unlikely they will buy gifts that I actually need.
3. I will miss out on the experience 🙁
HOWEVER, with all that said, if I don’t have a bridal shower, my family will give me the money they would end up spending on the shower to buy the things I need.
ANY THOUGHTS? What would you do in my position? Any of you regret having a bridal shower? Or do you believe that the experience itself is worth it, even if it isn’t financially profitable?
Post # 3
You know that is a tough situation!! It sounds like you want the experience and will regret it if you don’t have one.
Have the shower, and take the time over the next year with your new husband to fill out the necessities of your house.
Post # 4
Have a small one. 40 or 60 people is a pretty large bridal shower. Since you want the experience, have one with just very close friends and family, and take the remainder of the $500 to buy what you need.
Post # 5
I was going to suggest maybe having two showers to break up the number of people, and then you won’t have to rent a space. Maybe have one shower with FI’s side of the family and another with your side of the family?
If that’s not an option, or if that would cost the same amount in the long run, honestly, I’d probably take the $500 and buy the things you need.
Post # 6
I think you can have a shower without incurring $500 in costs.
Either have the people hosting the shower invite less people or throw 2 separate showers, so it can be held in someone’s home.
Failing that, doesn’t someone belong to a church that has a meeting room available to members free, or live in a condo that has a meeting room?
You don’t need to have all the fancy decor, favors etc you see online, A simple tea, punch and sweets will do.
Post # 7
I voted other. I would really let your family make this decision. Or your bridesmaids if they are offering to host a shower. Honestly, as the bride, you really shouldn’t be involved in the process. If your family is directly asking you if they should host a shower for you I would just go back to them and say that they should do whatever they are comfortable with and you don’t want them to go to too much trouble on your behalf. If they really want to host something for you maybe they could just limit the guest list to a size small enough so that it can be hosted at someone’s home.
Post # 8
For the experience, I would go with some of your closest girls and cut down on the cost. Honestly Having about 15 ladies over to someones home and providing finger foods and cake would be the way to go.
Post # 9
I voted other. I would say maybe have a family only shower to reduce the amount of people in attendance. Like @eleanorrigby said 40-60 people makes for a big shower. Maybe you have a friend(s) that would want to throw you a shower for you and your friends? You also mentioned that your family doesn’t really have the $500.00 to spend on the shower, so it seems like whether it is money spent on the shower or given to you to buy stuff with, it still might be money that they don’t really have?
Also, I don’t know what your religious preferences are, but maybe there is a room at your church that you could rent for cheaper? or maybe a room in a local church (even if you don’t belong to it) that you could rent?
It definitely is such a tough choice! Hopefully, you will get some of the things you need as wedding gifts, too.
Post # 10
Have the shower definitely! Don’t miss out on a great experience like that. There has to be a way to make it a bit less expensive for your family!
Post # 11
I’m sorry, I’m the lone person who said no. 🙁 I wouldn’t want to put my family out $500. (My family doesn’t have money either, which is why me and the Darling Husband paid for the wedding ourselves. Well each set of parents contributed about $1000.) I know times are tough so I don’t know how bad off your family is. You also said that you are also having a small wedding, so it sounds like you don’t have the money to help fund the bridal shower.
Oh, I didn’t have a bridal shower either but that’s because I live in a different state from where my family live and I wasn’t home enough to find time to have one. I do wish I had one but then again it doesn’t bother me now. I got enough gifts at the wedding to make up for the bridal shower.
Sorry. Just my opinion, feel free to ignore it. 🙂
Post # 12
I can’t imagine why a bridal shower would cost $500. Invitations, a few streamers and some snack food….surely can’t be more than $150. But then again I’m having a very simple shower. Also, I’m doing it in my church basement because it’s free. Is your location free?
Post # 13
I think you should have the shower, but I also don’t think its up to you. Almost all the showers I’ve been to have been surprises and completely out of the brides hands. I feel like the aunts/bms almost enjoy planning/throwing the shower more than the bride because they want to do something for her.
Post # 14
I voted other. I think you should have a shower, but I definitely DON’T think you should invite 60 people. That’s a huge shower. Invite fewer people and you will save your family money and still get the shower experience, and, I would imagine, a fair number of gifts to help you furnish your home.
Post # 15
I voted other. What you could do is find a super cheap location. I had mine in the kitchen/banquet room of a church and they only asked for $50. You may want to look into places like that.
Make the invitations yourself–and make them cheap. Give specific instructions about how to access the registry and maybe say something like, “If you would like to purchase a gift, please help us by adding to the household supplies that we need. You can access these items on the brides registry, found at ______________”.
Then ask your bridesmaids or closer family members if they would each be interested in bringing a food dish.
Post # 16
Yes, definitely have the shower. What is the breakdown of the 500.00? It shouldn’t cost that much, I would say 200.00 the most.