(Closed) Would you have a children 6-7 years apart?

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 32
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

My brother is 8.5 years older than me. We have never fought because with our age difference there was nothing to fight about. We have also always been very close because when I was  kid and he was a teenager he liked taking me places and helping me with homework. Now that we’re both adults he’s one of my very best friends. We both truly cherish the fact that our relationship is so unique. He was able to take care of me for a while, give advice when he had already been through something and the advice was always the best because he has perspective on different outcomes, and best of all now were very dear friends who respect each other as adults, siblings, and people going through different stuff. I’m 24 and he’s 32 and I wouldn’t change it for the world! 

Post # 33
Hostess
9633 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

I am 8 years older than my brother bc my mom had difficulty TTC. I can echo PPs and say that I was a built-in babysitter. I really resented my parents for that throughout my teenage years. I love my brother and think hhe’s awesome… but we aren’t very close due to the age gap. I moved out at 18, when he was 10, so I feel like I don’t know him as well as I would had we bwen closer in age.

Post # 34
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I would – my kids will be minimum 11 years apart, which is more than I’d like. I think there can be the issue of siblings not being as close, but I was never close to my brother who is only a few years older than me. I think in some ways a gap is good, because the older child is a bit more independent, you’re not doing double the diapers, etc.

Post # 35
Member
987 posts
Busy bee

@aliavenue:  My brother is 6.5 years younger than me, and my SO’s brother is 6 years younger than him and 8 years younger than my SO’s older sister. I like the space, we arent super close, but I am very protective of him. It also eases some of the burden off of my parents as far as paying for college. Again, there is a built in babysitter and I take pride in watchin my brother grow as well as my SO brother. Go for it, if thats what you want!!

Post # 36
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee

I would but SO doesn’t want to. >.<  I find that with larger age gaps, it’s easier on the parents (only 1 set of diapers to change at a time & you have a good helper!), there’s a bit less fighting (the older child will be more nurturing/protective while the younger one will be more likely to admire the older one, and they don’t have to fight over the same things because they’re at different stages of life).

Post # 37
Member
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@aliavenue:  My oldest sister and youngest brother are nine years apart (their birthdays are only 2 days apart too haha) There are four of us and we are 29 27 22 and 19 and I have to say my baby brother and two older sisters dont speak much but they get along well. My older sister (29) and myself (22) got along MUCH Better than my middle sister (27) and I because she was just close enough in age to find me annoying while my oldest sister thought I was cute. While I will say my brother and I are much closer to each other than to our sisters and our sisters are much closer to each other the larger age gap certainly lessend the fighting and bickering when we were younger so I would say

PROS: older kid can help out, thinks of younger sibling as cute, wants to protect them, will get a lot closer when older

CONS: probably wont be very close until adulthood because of different life stages but that doesnt mean they wont get along and love each other! 

Post # 38
Member
3378 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@aliavenue:  While I hope to have kids close together in age, I think if you’re feeling ready to expand your family, there’s never a wrong time 🙂  I grew up in a family with pretty wide child-spacing – there are 8 years between my two older brothers, and 4 between my middle brother and me (so 12 between the oldest and youngest).  The age gap was so large between my oldest brother and me that we were not close growing up – he was more like an uncle or something than a brother, as he went away to college when I was only 6 years old.  However, we’ve all grown a lot closer as adults and are very involved in one another’s lives.  Especially if you have 6-7 years between kids, the older child will likely be the younger’s hero and will look out for their baby sibling.  Of course there are problems with all siblings, but I think there’s nothing wrong with having a big gap.  You just end up with a different relationship between them than if they’re really close in age.

Post # 39
Member
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

My oldest and youngest are 8 years apart.  It was wonderful for my older son to truly understand what was happening and be able to look forward to a little brother on the way.  He was thrilled!  He was able to be involved in taking care of his baby brother and was a huge help to me early on.  He learned in a wonderful way how babies come into the world (I didn’t give him all the details initially, but it definitely helped make the first conversations easier).  

Sometimes I wish they each had a sibling closer in age to grow up with.  And sometimes I think it would be easier on me to have kids who could play together and entertain each other.  Right now, having one child wanting to do something the other can’t (or isn’t in) can make for frustrated kiddos.  

I think having a sense of responsibility and knowing that his little brother is really looking up to him will only help my oldest develop compassion and character.  

 

Post # 40
Member
2320 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My bro and I are seven years apart. I know a few other such siblings who are that far apart and they have very good relationships with each other. 

What I felt was the most useful to my relationship with my bro being 7 yrs younger is that when he was born, I was already capable of taking care of him at least a little bit. Feeding him with a bottle if my mum was in the shower, etc. Singing to him. Playing with him safely. As we grew older, I was getting very good at looking after him. Reading to him. Helping him with his homework. Walking with him to/from school. Fixing our lunches when my parents were at work. Or dinners if my parents were working over time. I mean, my mom would make some food but I’d heat it and put it together. Wash dishes, etc. This also helped my bro and I develop a very trusting and respectful relationship together. My parents didn’t need to worry AT ALL, nor worry about baby sitting. In fact, my parents look and feel REALLY young. They raised one responsible child who helped a lot in raising another. So they didn’t have to do the same work twice. Lol!

 

Post # 41
Member
1461 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My brother is 6 years older than my sister and my siser is 6 years older than me. My mom loved it because when she had a baby the other one was at school and old enough to care for themselves a bit. 

As the youngest, I could tell it irked my sister to end up babysitting for me a lot. In her defense I was pretty rotten as kid. 

As we got older we became much closer, and she does look after me all the time. It’s nice getting to be an aunt and just enjoy them without any pressue to start having my own children. 

I will probably have my children 4 – 5 years apart, depending on when I have my first. 

Post # 42
Member
1461 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Sasha2011:  +10000 my parent’s NEVER needed a sitter. When I was in kindergarden my brother was 15 years old. They are shocked at what some parents have to pay. 

Post # 43
Member
2119 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

aliavenue

im the youngest and my older sister and brother are 6-7 years older than me. they are only a year or so apart. im really close with them. in fact they both dont realy get a long right now. my sister is a lot like a second mom. she is the oldest. which is fine. by the time i was 12 they were both out of the house and i lived like an only child.. in a way… they would visit and all that. in fact i went to live with my sister at 16 to experiance school down south (she was in college) it was fun. they were able to tell me a little more about life then someone who was only 3 years older. but my teenage years went unprotected by my older siblings. since they lived far away in college. but we are all very close. we live in different towns but stay in touch and i would do anything for them.

Post # 44
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

my sister and I are 7 years apart. My brother is in the middle… he is 4 years older than our sister. My brother and I were always protective over our sister but had relationships as any siblings do… we argued. haha. and loved each other. We have gone through a lot as a family, with my mother having cancer for the last 11 years, so we are very close. I sometimes forget that my sister is 7 years younger. I wouldn’t have it any other way though. 

Post # 45
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

As the youngest child with 2 older brothers, I honestly loved it.  Me and my oldest brother are 10 years apart and I am honestly closer with him than I am with my other older brother. He tells me how when he was younger he always loved having me around, I was always his “baby sister” not his “bratty younger sister”. Same thing with baby sitting, we nearly always had a baby sitter. My other brother is 4 years older, so it was nice having someone closer to my age too when it came to school and being friends with kids from around the neighborhood. I would not mind having my kids 4+ years apart…I think from a financial standpoint its smart too, you won’t have to pay for multiple college tuitions at the same time 😉

Post # 46
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@aliavenue:  My siblings and I were really spaced out and I think it worked out well.  I’m the oldest so I learned some responsibility and was able to help my parents out some.

 

I most likely will not have that large of an age gap with my kids because if things go as planned I will be almost 30 with our first so I think I will probably aim for a three year age gap.  That way if we decide to go for three it is still a possibility.

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