Would you have a play-date with a dad?

posted 2 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Is it appropriate to have a ply-date with a father instead of another mother?
    Yes : (39 votes)
    66 %
    No : (3 votes)
    5 %
    Maybe, I’ll explain why.... : (1 votes)
    2 %
    Meh. Kids need friends, so who cares. : (16 votes)
    27 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    9661 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I don’t see why it would be a problem. You are getting together so the kids can play. It doesn’t mean you have to have sex. I would be rolling my eyes at anyone who tried to make an issue of this.

    Post # 3
    Member
    187 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2018

    My son’s  best friend lives with his dad full time. Everything we do together involves the single dad. We have no other choice. His mom sadly is just not in the picture. No funny business has ever gone on….. it’s never been an issue.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3312 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    One of our daughter’s favorite people to meet up with is a little girl whose mother passed away. We have done play dates with grandparents as well. Not a big deal at all.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1095 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    Sounds like your married-mom friends subscribe to the Mike Pence school of interpersonal relationships. There is no reason it should be weird to have a play date with a dad instead of another mom. What a sexist belief! I’m offended on behalf of the good dads pulling their weight as parents and spending time with their kids on play dates only to have these women make gross assumptions about what really goes on or their motivations. Ugh.

    Post # 7
    Member
    649 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I don’t think it’s weird at all! My husband has stayed with both kids when they were little, after I went back to work. You bet he had play dates with two families we’re close to – in one case the mom was usually home, in the other case the dad was. I also met up with them when I was home.

    None of them are single parents, but I can remember many days when those play dates were a major sanity-saver for someone having a rough day. I’m sure that for single parents, having a community is much more valuable, and it would be nice if there wasn’t a mindset that hanging out with them and their kids is “weird.” I have to say, though, I’ve never heard anyone I know in real life, including a few single parents, say that.

    Post # 8
    Member
    4528 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    MadameHibou :  I don’t think it should even matter and it would never be a big deal to me but sadly a lot of people do find issues with it. 

    Many years ago I worked for a company that sold educational software for children. We used to at home appointments with parents and children to show them the software program we sold. We used to have a company policy that  a sales rep was never to enter the home if both parents were not in attendance. We had instances way too often were a female rep had entered the home where mum wasn’t at home yet and had sat down to chat with dad, mum comes home and goes ape because she thinks that dad is way too interested. This also happened in the reverse with male sales reps. 😕 The more attractive or handsome the sales rep the more that this would happen…

    A lot of the reps wore wedding rings even if they weren’t married because they found it avoided instances were people read more into an interaction than what there and it stopped people from thinking that the rep was after their husband/wife  because they were stable and married and not a single person looking to steal their partner!!! We had one rep who was in her 20s and stunning. She used to wear fake glasses, no make up and dressed like a nun to appointments because she’d never make a sale otherwise. The husband’s would drool and the wives would silently fume…

    After working at this job it actually doesn’t surprise me that people get weird about situations like you mentioned….

    Post # 9
    Member
    2433 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: NJ

    Don’t most playdates happen when one parent drops the kid off at the house of another kid, where one or both parents are home? It sound like a dead bore if the first parent had to stay and socialize with whoever was home. What a waste of time. It is about the kids getting together, not the parents.

    Post # 11
    Member
    18 posts
    Newbee

    MadameHibou :  thinking that is weird or somehow not okay to have a playdate with a dad is harmful both to the fathers in question facing discrimination, and also to the mothers. If the parents have arranged the childcare responsibilities so that dad has playdate time, and people refuse to meet with him, then mom is forced to take over (unless they don’t have any playdates instead — in which case the child suffers!). That is disrespecting how that family chooses to arrange their time. Maybe they have a stay at home dad, working mom situation — should she then be forced to take over dad’s work in order to get play dates for her child? Or maybe dad works outside of the home and this is special time he’s carved out to take care his child. Those are just two examples, regardless, the reasons why a dad is having the playdate is between the parent(s) in the family, and should not have to be justified to others. It is also wrong to assume it “should be” or “naturally is” a mom having a playdate.

    Also, what about non binary parents, or families with two dads? It sounds like those families and children might be left without playdates in this line of thinking, and that is terrible.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1152 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Yes…because I want my daughter to have friends regadless of which parent is available to playdate with them, and I feel secure in my marriage.  My husband had a female roommate when we started dating and that didn’t bother me either.  

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