(Closed) Would you have another baby if your children were against the idea?

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: If my current child didn't want me to have another baby
    I would still have a baby : (101 votes)
    52 %
    I would not have a baby : (6 votes)
    3 %
    I would wait until they were ready : (5 votes)
    3 %
    I wouldn't wait-but try to help them through it : (75 votes)
    38 %
    This happened to me and everything worked out in the end : (5 votes)
    3 %
    This happened to me and everything got worse : (3 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1066 posts
    Bumble bee

    @MissFireFlower:  I personally think once baby is born your son will adore her/him.He is still very young,and if you include him in the process he will adjust well.He needs reassurance that you both will

    still love him…

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    7673 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Obviously I don’t know your child, but I do have 3 kids of my own. My feeling is absolutely no way would I let the child (or anyone else other than my husband for that matter) influence my decision on whether to have another child. The 5 year old’s reasoning is too immature.

    (As an aside, I highly recommend male vasectomy over female sterilisation).

    Post # 6
    Member
    5778 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I most certainly would not let a child dictate wether or not I chose to add to our family, or even give him a choice. I’d gently let him know the plans if I felt I needed to, but wouldn’t ask him how he even felt about it. Mine was 5 when I was pregnant with my second, and she was thrilled to death and could hardly wait to have a baby around.

    He’s way too young to even really discuss this with, but it sounds as tho you’ve already done it. If you really want another child, I think you should.

    Post # 8
    Member
    7673 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MissFireFlower:  Because it’s a way simpler (read: safer and cheaper) operation to snip his tubes (which are in a convenient little sack on the outside) rather than mine! (On the inside so they would have to cut me open). My body had already been opened up 3 times for 3 C-sections, I didn’t want it happening again when there was a simpler alternative.

    Since marriage is for life (barring something horrible), all kids we make are together. Either way it’s no more kids for either of you.

    Post # 9
    Member
    701 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2004

    my sistes two children said every time i jokingly brought it up that they didnt want another brother or sister, EVERY SINGLE TIME! They didnt have the same reasons as your child, however they were so strong on their beliefs. 

    My sister found out that she is pregnant an both her children are excited!! Their reaction was completly different to what we all expected. They want to be a little helper.

    Perhaps you can talk more about it. That your Fiance is going to be apart of your lives and his included, and that no matter whocomes or goes you will both love him.

    Change can be scarey but dont let it stop you from having the family that you want. besides a 5 yr old is ot capabe of making a rational decision.

    Post # 11
    Member
    5778 posts
    Bee Keeper

    It may happen when a child is older, but younger children adapt quite beautifully, and especially at his age. If your SD didn’t spend as much time with his older daughters once he remarried, that’s more of a reason to resent any new siblings than the kids themselves. Displaced anger, yes, but it also depends on their ages and how the whole issue was addressed (or not), don’t you think?

    Vasectomy? Did I miss something? lol If this is a step you’re considering, I highly recommend him doing it as well. Simple visit, less downtime, easy, relatively painless (and much cheaper!).

    Post # 12
    Member
    7673 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MissFireFlower:  Regarding your stepsisters, I’m guessing they primarily didn’t live with your Dad? Because then they saw their dad maybe once a week, but were “replaced” by children he was with 24/7.

    Your situation is different because your son will continue to primarily live with you. I’ve been close to a few situations where the single or divorced mother marries and has more kid(s), and the kids who live with her (i.e. live with their mother and stepfather) feel just as close as far to the mother as the younger kids, I’ve been able to tell.

    Post # 14
    Member
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I’d have the baby.  

    I have three “half” brothers from my mother’s first marriage.  They were 11, 12, & 13 when my parents started dating.  They had a few years of huge change, at ages that were not ideal, but my mom thought my dad should have his own kids also, he was such a good man and good father with her sons, he should have more.  We don’t call them half brothers, they are my brothers. Four of us are close, they aren’t jealous of us, never treated us as anything other than siblings. 

     When my mom passed away they each, individually came and thanked OUR DAD for making my mom have a happy life, for making them the men they are today and for having my brother and I (my parents were in their 40s when we were born).  They got “practice” helping take care of us before they all had kids (which I survived-I’m kidding). 

    Your son is 5, of course he’s scared of the unknown.  The thing is problems between siblings are going to happen, that’s why there’s only 4 of us that are close, you can read the boards for hours about full blooded siblings that are just evil to each other.  It would be a shame to base this on a 5year olds wishes.

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    1251 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2009

    I would have a baby. It’s our (and by our, I mean Darling Husband and myself) choice whether we procreate or not, regardless of what another child of mine said.

    Post # 16
    Member
    11747 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would never let a child dictate that decision for my husband and I.

    The topic ‘Would you have another baby if your children were against the idea?’ is closed to new replies.

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