(Closed) Would you have kids sooner so you can be a younger parent/grandparent?

posted 7 years ago in Parenting
Post # 16
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t think there is an ideal time either.  It just depends on what works for you and your life.  I am in my early 30’s…had #1 at 31 and will be 33 when I have #2.  I do have nieces who are as old as 19 so my mom was younger when she was first a grandmother.  Even tho she was younger she has the closest relationship with my child for many reasons.  Some of it is that mom is just at a place in her life where she has bandwidth to spend time with the baby.  In other times in her life she was too consumed with work or busy caring for her ailing mother.<br /><br />My DH and I are happy with the timeline for us.  I feel like I got a lot of the “party” out of me.  I am perfectly happy to sit at home most Friday & Saturday nights hanging out with my kid and don’t feel like I am missing out.  I am also happy we are financially stable.  We can contribute to college funds, pay mortgage, daycare and not worry about it.<br /><br />Some folks don’t feel the need to travel or establish a career before kids and that is perfectly ok.  Some folks are able to accomplish those things and have kids in their early 20’s and that works for them.  Everything depends on individual needs and there is no perfect recipe :-)<br /><br />

Post # 17
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

My husband and I are 24 and 27. We got married just over a year ago. And we’re planning on trying to start a family shortly after our 2nd anniversary because we don’t want to be too much older when we have kids. I come from young parents and grandparents while hubby comes from older parents and grandparents. And we both agree that we wanted to start a family relatively soon after we got married.

Post # 18
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think you both should have them when you BOTH are READY. Unfortunately, there is no guarantee that your children will want to have children.

Post # 19
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

 

View original reply
Meant2Bee:  For us personally, we wanted kids before 30, and my husband is 27.  I lost my dad at age 20, and I would be sad if my children never got to meet at least one of my parents. I would also be devastated if i followed the same path as my father and passed at a young age, and not getting to see my kids get married, grandkids, etc. My mothers parents both passed long before i was born and its like not knowing a whole part of your family history. We are currently expecting our first baby due in December and both sets of grandparents are under 60. For us it was more of an issue with US not wanting to be old and tired when we had kids, or having the second or possibly third one at almost 40. Our first will be 18 when i am 43 & hubs is 46. Ideally kids out of the house by the time we are 50. The timing we chose just made sense for us instead of waiting.

There really is no perfect timing so do whatever feels right to you!

Post # 21
Member
1609 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Have kids when you feel the time is right. You can’t worry about the future as people die young and other people live to be 100. Who knows what the future will hold.

Post # 22
Member
8028 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have 2 kids that I gave birth to at 26 and 34. The older one has a great relationship with her grandparents, but it makes me a little sad when I think how my parents may not live to see my younger daughter really grow up etc. DH wants to have one more (I’m 37 now), and it just seems so late in life to be contemplating the baby thing again!

Post # 23
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

 

View original reply
Meant2Bee:  I wouldn’t worry so much about others and instead focus on when you and your DH are both ready. Personally, I’ll be 28 when I get married, and we’re not planning on trying for a baby until around 32 or 33. THere are so many places and things we want to see and do, and we also just want to enjoy each other for a few years before a baby comes along.

My aunt was 31 when she had her first child and 32 when she had her second. The fact that they were older parents helped them stay more active in their upper 40s/lower 50s due to traveling for my cousins’ sporting events and such. So that was inspiring to me :).

All that being said, I think there are pros and cons to both being younger and being older. I just personally am not ready and cannot imagine having a kid anytime soon.

Post # 24
Member
3208 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

My parents won’t be retiring for at least another 10 years, and my FI’s parents will not be retiring for another 5-7 years. I’m not even thinking about being a young grandparent myself, but I have given thought to what my extended family will be up to once I do have a kid. It would be ideal to have retired parents if they’re going to be up for spending a lot of time together as a family.

My sister has two young children, and even when she just needs one of my parents to pop by for an hour in the evening so she can zip to a yoga class, both of my parents moan about wanting to relax after work. I don’t blame them – I wouldn’t want to babysit after a long day either. My sister’s in-laws are retired and they beg to babysit for her, even during the week.

I don’t really see any benefits to being a younger parent.

Post # 25
Member
3339 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

I wanted to have children sooner rather than later purely for health reasons.  Once a woman is over 30, all the pregnancy risks and birth defect probabilities go up.  I’m 27 and pregnant.  I will give birth to our first child right around my 28th birthday.  I hope to have one more kid before hitting 30.

Post # 26
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I fell pregnant at 19 (found out on my 20th birthday). We weren’t in a great position, both worked but we’re poor, my family lived in a different country and we had only been together for two years, he wasn’t a mistake though we just thought if it happens it happens. I don’t think anyone can say they are prepared for children just because they own a house or earn lots of money. It is harder not being financially stable with a child but you just make it work regardless. We are great parents and have matured so much over the past 4 years. I have just got a degree and my partner went back to college a few years ago and now has an amazing job. Although I wish I had done a few more things before my son was born for example more music festivals, and a girly holiday, I still had an excellent life as a teenager and partied hard! My son will be 20 by the time I’m 40…ever heard of the saying ‘life begins at 40?’ We are planning on having one more after we are married. I wouldn’t have anymore after 30 but that’s my personal preference. You should both do what is best for you. And instead of planning it so much…just do it. Either way you never regret it xxx

Post # 27
Member
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

It’s really up to you as individuals – some people make excellent young parents, and others struggle. I have friends that married and had kids in their early 20s, and just loved it. However, for me personally, I know that if I had kids young, I would not have been a very good parent – it took me some time to mature and grow out of some selfish habits.

Post # 28
Member
2563 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Between Fiance and I going through proffessional school, internships, and him a residency we will not have a stable life to think about starting a family until I am at least 31/32 and him 33/34.  Neither of us would have given up the life we have lived in order to have children in our mid twenties.

Post # 29
Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
Meant2Bee:  I always wanted kids young. I wanted to have babies before I was 28. Well, I only met my husband when I turned 30 and we just got married and I’m 32 now. So babies will come when they come.

Post # 30
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Pros and cons to both.  As others have said, there’s no guarantee your children will end up wanting children of their own.  I will be 35 when I get married, so I’ll be lucky to have my first at 36.  I didn’t plan it this way, I guess I spent to much time in the wrong relationships before meeting Fiance.  

The topic ‘Would you have kids sooner so you can be a younger parent/grandparent?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors