- 10 years ago
- Wedding: April 2011
Long story short- my husband and his ex split shortly after their son was born. My husband went through hell and back trying to see his son but their paperwork only ended up saying that as long as both parties can agree, visitation can happen. Well, she has never agreed. My step-son is 6 and my husband and I have been together for 5 of those 6 years. We have 2 daughters together and they have seen their brother a handful of times. The ex’s main issue is my husband- she hates him. It has come to a point where she told him that no matter how hard we fight, she will never let him see their son. So, after many tears and a ton of praying, my husband told her that he will sign off on visitation rights only if she signed off on current and future child support. My step-son is not mentally or emotionally capable of understanding that his mom’s current boyfriend isn’t really his dad and he has honestly only been allowed to see my husband 7 times since he’s been born. My husband doesn’t want to put his son through something so traumatic when he has no idea what is going on in the first place. It was not an easy decision and there are times when he wishes he wouldn’t have done it but he realizes that it’s in the best interest of his son to have it be this way. She has tried everything she can to keep them apart anyway. And of course, the courts here are all for the mom so every time hubby has gone and tried to fight her, all they say is “why haven’t you seen him yet?” It’s because they never changed the paperwork and he hasn’t formed a bond with him. They never even gave the option for supervised visitation. Nothing.
Anyway, she has told me on mulitiple occasions that no matter what happens between husband and myself that she wants my girls and their son to get to know each other. Of course, they are not allowed to know that they are half-siblings. I’m not into lying to my kids for her and my oldest daughter knows she has a brother. Well, I ran into her and my step-son yesterday. She has another son with her boyfriend and I asked how he was doing. She said okay and then starts in about how T (step-son) wants a little sister. It took everything I had not to say “HEY! HERE’S TWO FOR HIM!!!!” T knows my girls. He was talking to them and wanted to play with them. He remembers them from last summer when they last saw each other. My daughter knows him as her brother because Hubby and I refuse to not tell them the truth. Once our youngest daughter is old enough to understand, she, too, will know that she has a brother.
The kicker is, she looked directly at my oldest daugher and said “Aww. You poor thing. You look just like him!” Seriously?! Who says that to a 3 year old?! I kept my mouth shut because I want to be the bigger person. I wasn’t about to start a scene in public. I wanted to just scream. I had a friend with me and when we walked away, I burst into tears (yes, not one of my finer moments). He asked what was wrong and I told him who it was and what she said to my daughter. He was pretty upset and asked if I wanted him to say something to her. As much as I wanted to say yes, I can’t do that. My husband would have been so mad.
My question- would you have said something to her? She has NO right to say something like that to my child and I know she saw that I was pissed when she made the comment about T wanting a sister. I am rather unconfrontational and I clam up at the first thought of confronting someone. What would you have said?