Would you have two weddings?

posted 2 years ago in Destination Weddings
  • poll: Which would you choose?
    Small catholic ceremony and vow renewal : (11 votes)
    37 %
    Hawaii wedding only : (7 votes)
    23 %
    Small catholic ceremony only : (12 votes)
    40 %
  • Post # 2
    315 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    I think if you’ve always wanted to get married in Hawaii, then you should get married in Hawaii!! If it’s important to you that your parents see you get married or that you get married in the church, then having two small ceremonies shouldn’t be a big deal, especially if there’s only going to be one person that attends both of them. Go for it! 

    Post # 3
    223 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    You can have two weddings…One main wedding and one vow renewal in Hawaii….Everyone is happy!

    Post # 4
    1043 posts
    Bumble bee

    Fellow Catholic chiming in. Marriage is a sacred sacrament to Catholics and the ceremony belongs in the church, to be performed by the priest.

    If you’ve had your heart set on a Hawaaiin beach wedding, go for it, but that won’t be a Catholic wedding. If having a Catholic wedding is important to you two, you have to accept it needs to be done in the church.

    You could have the small church wedding and a delayed reception in Hawaii. But a beach ceremony is not the wedding. 

    Is the church wedding important to you as a couple, or your parents?

    Post # 5
    2669 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    lida89 :  my recommendation would be to do a family ceremony just for everyone who is not going with you, but like the day before you leave, not a full week before, that way it will all meld together in your memory like one long event. Also you really should get the legal part of you marriage done before you go on your trip, my friend had a destination wedding over a year ago now and hasn’t gotten around to going to the court house yet. I honestly think it’ a great idea, everyone will be happy and will feel included, you get to split people up into the 2 groups so you don’t have to deal with them all at once and ot totally cures the issue of trying to please everyone when you have older family members who like things formal and appropriate and friends ho want to party drink and celebrate attending the same event.

    Post # 6
    4677 posts
    Honey bee

    I would do the Catholic service (assuming getting married in a Catholic church and having your parents present is important to you) and honeymoon in Hawaii.

    1.  No, you don’t have to invite everyone if you have it at home.  You are an adult and can invite whomever you please.  No one is owed an invitation anywhere regardless of their proximity.

    2.  People who were excited about Hawaii are still allowed to vacation in Hawaii.  They don’t need a pseudo-wedding to give them permission to go there.  Unless you were planning to pay their expenses, then that may be a different story.

    Post # 10
    8963 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    lida89 :  I don’t understand why the people who would be invited to the Hawaii wedding couldn’t be invited to the Catholic wedding. Did I misunderstand that, or can you help me understand? I’m trying to figure out why you couldn’t have your Catholic wedding, then honeymoon in Hawaii and tell people they’re welcome to join you if they want. Would that work?

    Post # 11
    9861 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I wouldn’t have a religious ceremony unless you are doing it for yourselves. I’d skip the Catholic ceremony entirely and just do the Hawaii wedding.

    Post # 12
    1043 posts
    Bumble bee

    lida89 :  You may wish to book an appointment for yourself and your fiance to meet with your priest. He can help you.

    A Catholic wedding is considered equally valid and legal as a marriage before a judge.  Meaning once the priest marries you, you are wed.  It would be incorrect to have a 2nd “marriage ceremony” when you are already married.

    Personally I don’t see the point of vow renewal ceremonies, especially one so close to the church wedding. Your mileage may vary.

    If the Catholic wedding is not important to you and your fiance, I wouldn’t do it. Your parents and future in-laws had the weddings they wanted. Now you and your Fiance have the wedding you want.

    I’m having a Catholic wedding because it is important to me, and my Fiance (a non-Catholic) agreed to marry me in my faith. But I wouldn’t have a religious ceremony just to please my family.

    Post # 15
    12499 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    Your “wedding” is the occasion upon which you are married. You can have a delayed reception, which can have as many elements of a typical wedding as you like and be as lavish as your budget and tastes allow, but it’s still not a wedding.

    I don’t care for the notion of “vow renewal” especially so soon and for this reason. To me, it implies the original vow is less than serious and devalues the meaning of the word “vow.”

    I also feel destination weddings, with the possible exception of a jointly planned, very intimate or immediate family affair, are a huge and undue burden. They cost a lot  of money and vacation time, but close friends and family may sacrifice in order to make you happy, anyway. 

    My vote is for a local wedding and reception within your budget for those who deserve to be included, followed by a honeymoon to HI. 

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