(Closed) would you have your ceremony in a not attractive church?

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

Could you offer to make a donation to the church in order to help fix some of the cosmetic issues. You and your wedding party (or family) could make a day/weekend out of buying some paint and offer to paint the church?

Post # 5
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t think it would insult them! I’m sure churches are always looking for donations and volunteers to help keep things looking nice 🙂

Post # 6
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I live in Montreal where there are tons of gorgeous old churches. One of my dreams for my wedding has always been to get married in an ornate and pretty church! The church I normally go to is old-ish, but very plain… so I’m with you!

My SO and I plan on having a pastor who is very close to us marry us in a different church than the one he works in. Is this not an option for you?

Post # 7
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

A wedding isn’t about looks.  As long as you as a couple are happy on your wedding day then no one will be bothered looking at the church…they will be focused on you.  

IF it is that important to you, see if your pastor can use another church.  But if this one is special to you, then you can offer to donate to repaint it or suck it up.

Post # 8
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We are getting married in my fiance’s church (I am not Christian) and it is definitely not the prettiest around (very plain, new build, awkward colours, lacking character, etc)… but we are getting married there because it is his church, and his priest, and that is what is important.  We will only be in the church for a short period of time and we do not care (really) where we make the committment to each other, as it is the people and the sentiment that is most important to us.

Post # 9
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I love the church I grew up in but am not a huge fan.  In the end I just got over it. The red/orange stained glass windows turn the whole place orange!!  My colors were ivory and green!

 

Post # 10
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’d definitely consider making a donation in honor of your wedding to help paint and pretty up your church. I am sure the wouldn’t be offended, plus every time you go to church you will know you made this contribution. Just remember to use no / low VOC paint 🙂

Post # 11
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Only if the church in question was significant and meaningful to you and your partner.

Post # 12
Member
841 posts
Busy bee

Personally, no. I don’t want to get married in anything that looks dark and dreary. And in my opinion, there is only so much decorating you can do to one place… before you realize it’s pointless. 

Post # 13
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

as long as it isnt falling apart i wouldt mind too much… the ceremony is short anyway and most people remember the reception the most. besides you would be amazed what can be achieved with yards of tulle and a creative mind

Post # 14
Member
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

For a joke reason for why we chose a location in Texas (that does mean a great deal to us) I said the orange carpeting on the walls of the old sanctuary in my home church. My parents were married in that sanctuary (the main one was built just after I was born) but no can remember if the carpeting was there at the time, but we know the large black metal frames and blackout side curtains were not. If we had to have the ceremony in PA then I would have it there, even if it is a prime canidate for a local radio station’s annual “Ugly Side of the Church Contest”, my grandfather married my parents there.

Post # 15
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

i would absolutely forego the church.  you dont want to look at your wedding pictures down the road and have regrets. your pastor could still marry you elsewhere. the lord is in your heart, not in a building so dont feel bad about it!

Post # 16
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

I wouldn’t. To be honest, every time I’ve joined a new church during the time I was dating my husband (I moved around a lot during those years), it struck my mind to consider whether the church was pretty enough that I’d want to get married in it. The church we attend now is a wonderful home for us and we feel it is a great fit for us to worship there, but it is butt ugly. I never considered having our ceremony there. Personally, while I appreciate the importance of organized worship in a centralized location such as a church, I don’t feel that a “house of the lord” can only mean a physical church building. We were married in a beautiful wooded grove by a stream, surrounded by pastures filled with sheep, and I felt every bit that we were in God’s house. And of course our pastor performed the ceremony even though it was at a winery – he actually thanked us for choosing a location so close to his house. 🙂

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