(Closed) Would you have your mom as a surrogate mom?

posted 6 years ago in Babies
  • poll: would you have your mom carry your child?
    yes : (12 votes)
    13 %
    no : (74 votes)
    82 %
    other..please comment : (4 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    4324 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 1992

    No way! I’d hate for Mom to do all that work, only to have to hand over the baby to me. What if I do things “wrong,” and I’m parenting “her” baby in a way she doesn’t agree with? Will she resent me? Will she miss the baby? Will I feel guilty about that if she does?

    I’d rather not have a surrogate have a vested interest in my life after the birth.

    Post # 4
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I voted “Other” only because it would be physically impossible for my mother to be my surrogate, so the point is moot. She had a hysterectomy in her 30s. Though for all intents and purposes, someone her AGE could have children as she hasn’t hit menopause.

    I wouldn’t want her to. I’m not sure if I’d want to know my surrogate at all if there were some reason for me to have one (though I don’t imagine myself going that route if I can’t get pregnant on my own.)

    Post # 5
    371 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I wouldn’t want my mom to go through that, and actually, I don’t think she’s willing to do it all over again either. I’d rather just not know who it is who’s carrying my baby

    Post # 6
    4653 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Nope I would want it to be someone I didnt know. I wanted to be a surrogate before a bunch of medical issues and my only requirement was that I didn’t know the couple.

    Post # 7
    5494 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Yup.  My mom or a close friend would pretty much be the only people I would trust to carry my baby, (if I needed that).  I know they would do absolutely everything righ while pregnant.  and how rewarding would it be to see the child you carried for someone grow and be part of their lives forever.  I think this is an amazing thing for a mother to do for her daughter who can’t carry a child to term.

    ETA: just want to add that I know my mom would absolutely be willing to do this for me if I needed it.  

    Post # 8
    370 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I would be uncomfortable with that. I feel like my mother might get too attached and start getting bossy with me concerning how to raise my children. A lot of grandmothers get that itch to tell their daughters what’s best for raising children as it is, and this just seems like asking for snarky comments like “I had that child in my womb for 9 momths, maybe you ought to listen to me on this one..”

    Post # 9
    13096 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @Meowkers:  “My mom or a close friend would pretty much be the only people I would trust to carry my baby, (if I needed that).”

    I’m the same.  If I required a surrogate to have children, I’d want it to be my mom, my sister, my SIL, or a really close friend.  I want someone with a vested interest in both me and the child to be the one to carry it and nurture it for 9 months.

    Post # 10
    5475 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    No way.  She is a smoker, and not really in the best health.  I’d be more inclined to have my sister be a surrogate for me over my mother.

    Post # 11
    7606 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I voted “other” because it would be physically impossible for my mother to do that.  However, I think I would have voted no anyway.  I would hate to have something happen to my mom and the baby at the same time, you know?  Like, I’d be so worried about her health both for her sake and for the baby’s sake.  I’d feel as though all my most important eggs were in one basket.

    Post # 12
    11271 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    quite frankly, my mother is too old. 

    it’s actually something that my dh and i seriously discussed when we got together.  he always wanted children (his ex-wife lead him on for over 10 years).   i unfortunately had a partial hysterectomy in my 30’s but i requested to keep my ovaries.

    technically, we could still have our own child if we had a surrogate.  we couldn’t think of anyone close to us who would be the best candidate.  my sister and dh’s cousin would love to but they are unhealthy and smoke a lot.

    Post # 13
    2425 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    No, not my mother. I wouldn’t want it to become a power struggle thing when parenting. But I would consider my sister though.

    Post # 14
    923 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Hell no!  I’m already dreading the you’re-not-doing-it-right comments so I see that potential skyrocketing if mom actually carried the kid.

    Post # 15
    176 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @KoalaWalla:  haha yea but Marm is a special bird


    Post # 16
    3451 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    No.  That’s kind of creepy.

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