Would you help DH pay off old debt

posted 3 years ago in Money
Post # 61
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Navygirl14:  Based on what I said before: I have never personally been in the situation so I can’t really say what I would ACTUALLY do if faced with it. I would probably tell him to work on it and if he was showing effort, I would help out. 

Post # 62
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre

In a heartbeat marriage is a partnership his debt becomes our debt. 

Post # 63
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Absolutely. We are a team. 

Post # 64
Member
395 posts
Helper bee

I guess I’m different in all of this.  For us, we have our own, seperate money–no joint accounts whatsoever.  Legally, his debt occured before our marriage is not mine, therefore I don’t pay towards it.  I have, however, helped him out on a few things he really needed…

Post # 65
Member
659 posts
Busy bee

Agree with PPs that you need to help him get in good standing on his debts. However, even more importantly, it sounds like you can really offer him some financial insight into how to keep his debt under control. So, not only should you help him pay it off, you need to help him better manage it. 

Post # 66
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

He is your husband. It is now YOUR debt.

Post # 67
Member
893 posts
Busy bee

taking on the debt is not a choice. legally, if you are married, his debt becomes your debt. there’s no other way around it. it would be stupid to not try to pay it off as quickly as you can possibly manage using both incomes.

Post # 68
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

No, legally, if you are married, his debt does NOT become your debt.  

I wasn’t going to say anything because I agree with the “his debt is my debt” based on the “we are a team” mentality.  But when I saw a PP say “legally”, I feel like I have to jump in.

There are some exceptions as there always are, but for the most part debt either spouse incurs before marriage is SEPARATE debt.  No one is happier than the creditors, that one more person is assuming liability for the debt, even though he/she actually has no legal obligations to pay.  You do not.  You do not.  You do not.  Creditors, who tell you you are automatically on the hook for your spouse’s old debt once you get married, are LYING.

Property you acquire before marriage–and property you acquire after marriage that are a result of gift, inheritance, or devise–are SEPARATE property.  Likewise, debt you acquire before marriage are SEPARATE debt.  In common law marital property states, even debts acquired after marriage, so long as it was only in one spouse’s name, is still separate debt.  In community property marital property states, debts acquired after marriage are usually presumed to be community debt, but debt acquired before marriage is still separate debt.

Post # 69
Member
13539 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I married Darling Husband, debt and all. We tackle all our debts together.  We did talk about all our assets and liabilities before getting married, though. 

Post # 70
Member
893 posts
Busy bee

camenae :  really? huh. I feel like I’ve been told my entire life that the debts combine. *the more you know!*

but I still think it’s wise to just go ahead and pay it off together with both incomes if you are legally married. like others say, you become a team. if my husband had debt, I doubt I’d be running around spending frivolously with my paychecks while he is still sending in payments. we have separate bank accounts / separate credit cards, but we still think of our financial situation as ours together. 

Post # 71
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

sporkette :  Yep, that is why I did say in my previous post that I do wholeheartedly agree with the mentality of working as a team and using community assets to pay off separate debts.  Because we’re working towards our future together.

Buuuuuut I just don’t want people to think that it’s a legal obligation.  So they can beware of lying creditors telling them they might as well co-sign or put their name on the debt account (then it’ll really become a legal obligation), since they were on the hook anyway (they weren’t).   Anything you put towards your spouse’ separate debt and vice versa, it’s because you guys are team players, NOT because that’s what you HAVE to do anyway.  

Post # 72
Member
234 posts
Helper bee

I wouldn’t marry someone with a lot of debt in the first place, so no. 

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