(Closed) Would you help SIL with wedding even if you didn’t feel like it?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
46387 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would suck it up and help her for the sake of family harmony.

Post # 4
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@julies1949:

Ditto.

Assuming that all there is is that you don’t “click” with her.

Post # 5
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Yes. You’re both going to be in this family together and it’s really the right thing to do.

But who knows. If you don’t click maybe she won’t ask you to do anything and you won’t have to worry about it.

Post # 8
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’d help her out. You don’t have to bend over backwards for her, but I’d offer up your help and if she asks for assistance I’d help.

Who knows, you may end up “clicking” better after you spend time doing wedding stuff together. Or, if you don’t, at least you don’t come across as not wanting to support your brother and his new wife.

Post # 10
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I agree that you should help in some way – but like you said don’t go out of your way, but def offer to lend a helping hand now & then.

Post # 11
Member
677 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I would help where asked and, if not asked, let her know that I’d be happy to assist if needed in the interest of family harmony. I don’t really “click” with my SIL either as we have nothing in common but I make every effort to be polite to her, invite her and my bro out/to parties/events I’m hosting or involved in because she’s not going anywhere and maybe we will find some common ground at some point.

Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I was kind of in the same situation – and we are cordial now.  I did not offer to help, but when asked to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I said I would, and I bought the dress and did everything they asked me to – and then they cancelled the wedding. 

I did not ask her to be in my wedding at all.  I don’t feel like I have to ask someone to be in mine because they asked me to be in theirs.

Post # 13
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I would totally help out, but that is also in part because of how I was raised and my family dynamic. In my family you help family no matter what.

If she really makes you uncomfortable and the situation keeps turning awkward than only help her when she needs it most or when there will be a group of women meeting up etc. That way you won’t seem like you’re snubbing her, and she will feel like she’s welcome in the family.

You don’t have to be her best friend, but it wouldn’t hurt to help a little 🙂

Post # 14
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

If she asks then you should help her

Post # 15
Member
46387 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would actually make a pre-emptive strike and offer to do something that wouldn’t involve working closely with her or spending too much time together.

The topic ‘Would you help SIL with wedding even if you didn’t feel like it?’ is closed to new replies.

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