(Closed) Would you hold off TTC if you were a BM in a good friend's wedding?

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 32
338 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would not hold off, nor would I have cared if any of my bridesmaids were pregnant at my wedding. I can’t even imagine having a kind of friendship where that would be a bad thing.

Post # 33
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Heck no!  I love my girls to bits but I am not putting my life on hold for ONE DAY in their wedding.  And if your girl loves you, she would never even consider asking you to wait.  Seriously.

Post # 34
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Double post.  Because I was SERIOUS y’all.  😉

Post # 35
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I would never put off my plans to TTC for a friend’s wedding. If the friend is bothered by my pregnancy that’s her issue and if not then I see no harm in being pregnant while also being a bridesmaid. It has been done many times over. 

Post # 36
7556 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Agreed, heck no! I would never want my friends to not TTC either. 

Post # 37
1128 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Never put your own life on hold! Like you said, you could get pregnant soon and it won’t affect anything. You could be just a few months pregnant at the wedding or be super pregnant, but either way, you need to continue on with your life because you never know what could happen in your life or in theirs that could change everything.

Post # 38
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I could have written your post! Except my friend’s wedding is November 2013 in the UK!!! So now the pressure is on to either get pregnant pretty much right away (and be due at end of May/beginning of June) or put it off so I’m not too pregnant to travel?! I don’t know what to do!

ETA: I’m leaning towards not putting our plans on hold, I think that’s what you should do too!

Post # 39
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - W Hotel Silicon Valley

@RahlyRah:  Thought I’d bring back this old thread since it’s a good one!  I just started TTC and I am a bridesmaid in TWO weddings, both of which I’d be pregnant for if we get a BFP right away (March & May 2013).  I am not waiting.

I agree with @Bao…never put your life on hold.  Weddings are just one day, it’ll work out.  You should keep your plan and I think your friend would understand and even be happy for you!


Post # 40
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Thanks for posting this! I’m in the same position. A good friend of mine asked if I would be a Bridesmaid or Best Man in her destination wedding and of course I said yes! But were about to ttc soon and as long as all goes well with ttc, hopefully well already have our little one by the end of next year. 

I just over analyze everything. So I’m thinking “what about Bridesmaid or Best Man dress shopping?” or “I’ll be taking maternity leave close to the wedding, am I going to be able to take more time off?” “will I WANT to leave my 1-3month old baby??” agh! 

Post # 41
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I was in this position recently and I decided to go ahead with preparing to TTC anyway. Turns out to be a really smart decision since we found otu I have PCOS and need to see an RE. AT this point I would be lucky to be pregnant at all at her wedding and the most I”ll be is in the 1st trimester. But if I had gotten pregnant and it conflicted with her wedding I know she would have understood!

Post # 42
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

No one could stop me from baby making. >:)

Post # 43
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I wouldn’t plan my TTC timetable around somebody else’s wedding regardless of how good of a friend.  When you’re ready, you just need to go for it, because there will always be a reason to put it off. 

One of my BMs was TTC before my wedding, and there was a chance she could have been heavily pregnant and unable to fly in for my wedding.  Of course I’d have been disappointed if that happened, but no way would I have expected her to put off a major life event because there was a chance she’d miss my wedding.  Good thing she didn’t wait, because it took her over a year of guerilla-style TTC to get pregnant.

If you’re pregnant and unable to participate in some of the wedding festivities, I’m sure your friend will understand. 

Post # 44
4505 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

As someone who has been TTC for over a year and is now undergoing fertility treatments, let me urge you not to out off TTC. There will always be some event looming that you’d rather not be pregnant for… just start! 🙂

Post # 45
39 posts
  • Wedding: April 2012

My hubby and i just started TTC and my best friend also just asked me to be her Maid/Matron of Honor for her wedding.  The difference with me though is that she doesn’t know when she is getting married, which gives me plenty of time to prepare for whatever.  However, even if she already had a date picked out i would not stop TTC.  Now a days there are so many choices out there for every type of body.  I think you will be find and i am sure your friend will work around that situation too.  Good luck!:))

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