(Closed) Would you invite his ex to your bachelorette party?

posted 3 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Would you invite her under these circumstances?
    Hell no! : (93 votes)
    68 %
    Why not : (6 votes)
    4 %
    If you feel okay about it : (38 votes)
    28 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    819 posts
    Busy bee

    Absolutely not. You aren’t obligated to invite your boyfriend’s former almost-fiancee to anything, especially if you don’t even like her that much. He can invite her to his bachelor party, or find another way to get her involved in his side of the festivities.

    Post # 3
    Member
    3114 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

    Nope, not unless I considered her a close friend as well. 

    Post # 4
    Hostess
    3166 posts
    Sugar bee

    No. I wouldn’t invite someone I didn’t like to my bachelorette party.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2178 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I guess it would depend on the type of party you had…. if it was more of an in-town drink out at the local bar type thing where pretty much everyone in town is invited then I would extend an invite to her but if it was like a weekend away with my best girls then I don’t see why I would include her

    I don’t see an issue for an ex to be part of your extended circle of friends – that is pretty common in my circle and I definitely had a few “ex” at my wedding (and even the wife of an ex at my bachelorette) but it doesn’t sound like you guys are “besties” or anything so I don’t think that you need to worry about her feeling bad if she isn’t included in some intimate party

    Post # 6
    Member
    4823 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    aventurin :   You lost me when he said you’ll have to invite her.    He does not make up the guest list.   His friend will understand.  

    Post # 7
    Member
    191 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    Shes not your friend or someone you want to spend time with when your Boyfriend or Best Friend isnt around, I wouldnt invite her.

    Post # 8
    Member
    469 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    aventurin :  No! She’s not your friend and you don’t owe her anything. The Bachelorette party is for you to spend time with people you’re close with. You will feel really uncomfortable having her there especially since you don’t care much for her. I think she will also be uncomfortable. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    2631 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    If you were friends with her/like her, I might.  That doesn’t seem to be the case though.  Don’t invite someone you don’t like….

    Post # 10
    Member
    3583 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

    aventurin :  You don’t have to do anything. If your boyfriend wants her to feel included then he can suck it up and invite her to his bachelor outing. I’ve never been one to stay friends with exes, and I know that my husband isn’t particularly close with anyone from his past. It sounds like they have a good, respectful friendship, but I still wouldn’t be thrilled about it and she would not be in my inner circle of friends, therefore she wouldn’t be invited to my bachelorette party. Maybe if someone throws a shower for you, she could attend that? 

    Post # 11
    Member
    4231 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

    When I had my bachlorette I invited some of Darling Husband female friends I wasn’t super close with. Darling Husband in turn invites some of my guyfriends to his bachelor party. I don’t see anything right or wrong with it. Just trust your gut 🙂

    Post # 12
    Member
    154 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    If she was just his friend, and not his ex, would you invite her?

    Some of my closest friends are guys, and my Fiance is inviting them to his bachelor party (they all get along).  I am also inviting some of Fiance female friends and my male friend’s female partners to my bachelorette.  I agree that it depends on the type of event though.  We are doing casual, in-town party, so a few extra people isn’t a big deal.  I likely wouldnt invite them if we were going out of town overnight.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1305 posts
    Bumble bee

     

    He doesn’t get to dictate who you invite to your bach. Especially since it doesn’t sound like you and her are close friends. 

    Just because he’s having an all-guys night doesn’t mean she’s left out. 

    I get that they are friends but he shouldn’t put her feelings over yours.

    I do find it a little odd that he confided in her about your relationship issues. It just seems like he still leans on her emotionally and the whole thing just seems too messy to me. 

    Not to mention, she acts supportive to him but then tells you that she hopes you guys don’t get married. Why would you want to celebrate your marriage with someone like that? 

    Post # 14
    Member
    972 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    You shouldn’t have to. But, I think if you’ve been okay with her existence and so much presence in your life so far-it would seem inconsistent to not invite her now especially as he’s one of his closest friends and he won’t invite her (which I think you should strongly suggest he reconsider). If he won’t invite her to his, you shouldn’t be automatically expected to for yours. But if you absolutely won’t have her it could send the message you are a little more uncomfortable about their past than you have acknowledged by your behavior before. 

    If you’re worried about her feelings-she can choose not to attend. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1262 posts
    Bumble bee

    aventurin :  I don’t know your local customs but I really don’t think you have to invite her. She’ll understand. Your attitude towards their friendship and her attitude towards your relationship both seem very mature. I think you’re both doing everything right, and your bf should not look for problems where none exist.

    Fwiw, one of my best friends is engaged to a woman who I like, but we’re not that close, and I wouldn’t want to go to her bachelorette. I really doubt she’d lose any sleep over this.

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