(Closed) Would you invite long lost family even if parent offered to pay for their meal??

posted 7 years ago in Family
  • poll:
    Yes : (8 votes)
    32 %
    No : (14 votes)
    56 %
    Maybe..explain : (3 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 3
    362 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I know it may seem harsh but I flat out refused to invite family members I do not associate with or care for, and my parents understood. They may be family but I have friends that are closer, it’s not a family reunion!

    Post # 4
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I think you are kind of stuck since your mom has already told her that she is invited. I don’t think its appropriate to invite her to the ceremony only. Especially if she is the only guest that you did this to. Considering your mom isn’t even asking you to pay, its not that much to ask that she come. Make sure your mother understands that this is the only exception and if any other cousins call her, that the guest list has already been set. Considering how many people you’ll have at the reception and how busy you’ll be, you would not even notice that she is there.

    Post # 5
    4520 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I would definitely invite her, but I know others will disagree. Esp. if the issue is just that you don’t know her, but not that she’s obnoxious or something. Blood’s thicker than water, right? Plus, your mom already kinda invited her . . . .

    Post # 6
    2154 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I wouldn’t mind at all, especially if I wasn’t paying. 

    Post # 8
    1766 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    This is a tough one.  My parents even told me not to invite anyone I haven’t seen in ages while FH’s extended family apparently only gets together at funerals and weddings, so they all ASSUME they are invited, as it is the family tradition.  That explains our out of control guest list on FH’s side.

    I’d say let your mom invite her, pay for it, and decide where she should sit.  It is kind of tough for your mom to back out now.  Here is another thought, though:  Is she married or living with someone?  In that case you need to invite her SO too!

    I would be angry, too.

    Post # 9
    3482 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I know it’s against etiquette, but in my opinion your mom should call the cousin back up and retract the invite. I’d have her apologize and say that she said yes without consulting you, and now she has found out that you absolutely cannot accommodate any more guests.

    Fiance and I don’t want anyone at our wedding that we haven’t had any kind of contact with in the past three years that we’ve been together. So sorry, distant relative who hasn’t seen Fiance since he was 4, but you didn’t make the list.

    Post # 10
    5890 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2012

    i’m sorry, all i could take away from this post was that you have meals for $26/pp….what a steal!

    Post # 12
    239 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    If it was just me coming up with the invites… no. I would not invite her. I am firmly of the mind that these distant relatives have had 20-some-odd years to get to know me, if they chose not to then that’s their loss. Why should they be invited to our wedding, to have a stranger witness such an intimate moment of our life?

    In your situation though, I don’t think there’s much choice, since she’s already promised the invitation. I can totally sympathize with you though… My mom is paying for the reception so I really had no say in our guest list. (She’d say otherwise but she lays the guilt trip on pretty heavy.) We’ve fought about it quite a bit.

    The topic ‘Would you invite long lost family even if parent offered to pay for their meal??’ is closed to new replies.

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