(Closed) Would you invite someone just for the gift???

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

No.  I actually am uncomfortable having a shower becuase it’s implied that you must bring me a gift.  I’d rather people just come to my shower, eat and mingle.

Maybe your coworker is just so excited about becoming a grandmother that she doesn’t realize it may be seen as inappropriate.

Post # 6
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

That sounds like a really weird invite.  It would be different if you were close friends with your co-worker.

I would just pass on the invite!

Post # 7
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

No. It’s just plain rude.

Post # 8
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

My FH would. : D Supposedly, it’s actually mentioned as a good thing to do in all the “groom” books out there (he browsed a couple for fun when I was poking through the wedding planning section). It’s hilarious because the “bride” book by the same author says it’s a horrible etiquette breach, while the “groom” book is all like “free swag, boo-yah!”.

Sorry, rambling. Anyways, FH would gladly do it, but I’m a little more hesitant. Especially for a shower, I just want it to be a private family thing. : ) 

Post # 9
6473 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

Wait, it’s not HER baby shower – it’s her DAUGHTER’s shower? Yeah, that’s odd. If it was hers, then that would be a nice show of office-comraderie, but for the daughter? Um, yeah. No. I wouldn’t attend. Maybe a card?

Post # 10
2829 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

uh no.

FWIW My mom invited a few specific ladies from her office to a baby shower when I was pregnant –but they were her out of the office work friends & I knew them/had established an acquaintance with them.


I would never just invite people to an event for gifts.

Just doesn’t sit well with me personally.

Post # 11
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Sometimes people just get excited and want to invite everyone to share a special moment with them.

We had a housewarming party and were accused by a few people that we just wanted gifts. i was so upset by this cause we had only invited close friends and family along with a few co-workers.

I would never invite people just for gifts. I don’t even care about gifts. I prefer the company of friends and family over any of that!

Post # 12
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I was in a similar situation. My friend’s Mother-In-Law invited me to her daughter’s baby shower when I don’t even know the daughter very well. It was awkward for her to invite me and the way she invited me. She literally asked me if I wanted to be invited on facebook, none the less. I ended up going to be there for my friend because she is not close to her Mother-In-Law but both my friend and I have a feeling I was invited only to give a gift. 

Post # 13
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

No, I wouldn’t invite someone for the gift.

As for the baby shower, could it be possible that she invited everyone because she was close to a majority of the coworkers and the ones she didn’t know that well, she didn’t want any hurt feelings, so she just invited everyone.  I can see that happening in the workplace and can get a bit tricky with who to invite. This can happen if your workplace is small.

I considered inviting about a group of 10 coworkers to my wedding because we are all somewhat close. (Younger coworkers that go to happy hour every now and then.)  But I would consider 4 of those people my friends that I would hang out individually. I ended up just inviting those four.

It is still weird to invite that many people for your daughter’s baby shower.

I guess I would go if I wanted to go and I wouldn’t go if I didn’t want to go.  Decline the invitation and give her a card or go in with a group gift or something.

Oh another thing is would it be awkward to go to her daughter’s baby shower. Do you know her? 

Yeah, I could go on with what ifs.  If it was too weird, I wouldn’t go.

Post # 14
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Where i’m from, it’s quite common to be invited to a co-workers daughter’s (or a similar situation) baby shower, wedding shower or whatnot. I wouldn’t bat an eye at being invited and would take it as if she was just terribly excited and proud. 


Post # 15
45 posts
  • Wedding: November 2010

My mother-in-law wanted to invite her co-workers to a shower and the wedding.  My husband and I have never met any of them.  Needless to say, we did NOT invite them and told her that we felt like it was gift grabbing. 

She agreed, but said she hadn’t thought of it that way because she had been invited to her coworker’s childrens events having never met them.  So I guess it isn’t weird to some people.  This is apparently normal in their small office so I suppose it really depends on your circle.  Some of them did send gifts, even though they weren’t invited to anything wedding-related, with very sweet cards congratulating us and saying how much they adore Mother-In-Law.  It may also be a generational thing to have everyone around you celebrate with you, regardless of how “close” you are.  I wouldn’t take too much offense to it.  If you aren’t comfortable, just say you have a conflict and don’t go.

Post # 16
2634 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Tswife4ever:  actually contrary to popular reasons….yes I do invite poeple for the gifts in the long run of it…

Honestly I wouldn’t be throwing a wedding and inviting all these poeple if I knew in the future they are not going to give me anything.they are just going to come and eat food and drink drinks that I paid for and dance have a good time and leave…I would be pretty pissed….could have eloped.


That being said…I am not just inviting strangers just for the gifts. I am inviting family and very close friends only. I am after all really doing the wedding so they can celebrate with us. They get to celebrate with us (I know my friends and family would be upset if we didn’t have a proper wedding to celebrate) and in return we get gifts. 


In the end it is MEANT to work out like that. 

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