(Closed) Would you invite this friend? Undecided…

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
  • poll:

    Yes. Why not...maybe things are getting better for her.

    No. You're asking for trouble!

  • Post # 3
    55 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    If you didn’t plan to invite her before she contacted you, I would not invite her.  Also, if you have not seen or heard from her in about a year, and also don’t see yourself spending time with her after the wedding, then do not invite her.

    The news of your engagement put you back on her radar.  If she contacts you after the wedding to spend time together, why not?  If she doesn’t, then she was only sniffing for an invite and probably licking her wounds.

    Post # 5
    4594 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    Before she asked would you have invited her? If not, don’t feel pressured.

    Post # 6
    7635 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If you’ve met for coffee twice this year, to me that counts as a good enough friend to invite.

    p.s. If she’s still talking weird stuff then counsel her to get help. I have heard that people who commit suicide often talk about it first, and I personally know one case where this actually happened.

    Post # 7
    2457 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    You weren’t even considering it before (from what it sounds like) so you shouldn’t change that to appease her. She’s clearly got a lot of drama (let’s face it, people like that don’t change) and you don’t need that at your wedding, nor do you need to stress about possibly need to cut the numbers down later. 

    Post # 9
    309 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    The fact that you are already uncomfortable with the idea of inviting her.. I would say no as well..

    Post # 10
    2481 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    i’ve told multiple people that i’ve sent it and it got returned or i sent it they should be recieving it and then they never dooo- dumb post office.

    then i hope they just ditch out anyway.

    Post # 11
    687 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I voted no because you said you’re only inviting close friends…so if you didn’t even tell her you became engaged then I’d say she isn’t close enough to you now to warrant an invitation.

    Post # 12
    11734 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    @alishaloo:  why wouldn’t you just be honest and tell them they aren’t invited? It’s awkward, but it’s the right thing to do. It’s also more awkward that they asked you in the first place than for you to tell them that they aren’t invited.  If you tell them that their invite is on the way, won’t they just continue to bother you about where it is? Also, that to me is basically extending them an invitation – so what happens if they don’t get the invite (because they think it got lost in the mail bceause that’s what you told them) and they just come anyways (because they think they’re invited?)  

    OP – just be direct with her. If you werent going to invite her before these texts, don’t invite her now.  But, let her know that unfortunately space is limited and you aren’t able to invite everyone.  Offer to get together (if you want) but it seems like your better off without that drama in your life.  I’m sure she’s a great person but the friendship seems a bit 1-sided.

    Post # 13
    433 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012


    Do not invite her. It’s a breach of etiquette to invite yourself to someone’s wedding. You weren’t planning on inviting her before, stick to your gut. No sympathy invites!

    Post # 14
    255 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    Is she worth $100 or the price of your meal?

    I know this is a cold way to decide, but it was an eye opener for us when we were planning our guest list and it really demonstrated who priority lay with. Close friend made the list, girl I sorta hung out with in highschool 10 years ago did not!

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