(Closed) Would you invite this person?

posted 3 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
940 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Is there a reason you need to invite the three kids you haven’t met? I’d invite the girlfriend but skip her kids.

Post # 4
Member
940 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I think it’s fine to invite children who are actually your relatives while excluding other children.

Post # 5
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I think she has made it incredibly clear that she doesn’t want to be a part of your life. If that’s the case, you should feel comfortable not having her there. I would actually put the name of your nephew and his daughter on the invitation. 

Post # 6
Member
7806 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Are they all living together as a family? If so I think its crappy to split up the family because you dont like her. If they arent, you should still invite HER but I dont think you have to invite her kids. If you dont invite her, your nephew and his kid might not come at all.

Post # 7
Member
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Your nephew lives with her? If he doesn’t, I wouldn’t invite her- I think you could get away with it. But..if they live together, I guess you need to invite her. Either way, I wouldn’t invite her children. 

Post # 8
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Kinda the risk of not inviting an adult is that their kids might not get to come. I know its not HER kid, but she is who your nephew is having act in that roll. She’s an ass, so I don’t think you should invite her or your nephew, but unfortunately that means his kid probably won’t be there. You could invite them all and she shows and decides to not bring her “step-kid.” 

Post # 9
Member
2544 posts
Sugar bee

Could you talk to your nephew about it? It doesn’t really sound like she would want to come and/or bring her kids anyway, but maybe you can find out from your nephew what he would prefer. it’ll also give you a chance to tell him that it’s important to you that he and his daughter be there. Chances are that if you do include her, they’ll appreciate it and she’ll decline. If you don’t invite her and don’t talk to him about it, she may end up convincing him not to go based on it being disrespectful not inviting her. 

Post # 10
Member
345 posts
Helper bee

Your only obligation is to yourself – it’s your day, and your choice as to whom you want to invite. Personally, I don’t have time for pettiness – but definitely speak to your nephew to ensure that if just he and his daughters’ names were on the invitation that they would attend. His girlfriend is not the girl’s mother, but if it would cause issue for him to not include her name on the invite, you can easily excuse not inviting her kids as the venue having a cap on the maximum number of guests.

Post # 11
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2018 - City, State

On an unrelated (?)note, if shes so religious she wont associate with certain people, why is she ok with living with the nephew out of wedlock (ie “sin”) ?

Sorry not helping but reading that bugged me -.- 

I think maybe best to discuss with you nephew ? coz its gonna get awkward for him too by the sounds of it

Post # 12
Member
368 posts
Helper bee

I’d be very inclined not to invite her.  After all, how could someone who, in her eyes, doesn’t exist invite her to anything?   wink

Post # 13
Member
636 posts
Busy bee

I think you should call your nephew and figure it out together. I mean, he can’t be oblivious to her attitude toward you, so hopefully you can come up with a plan. 

Post # 14
Member
8377 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
aprilfoolsnojoke :  What drama will come from inviting her? And what benefit will come from not inviting her? The way I see it, if you invite her, she probably won’t even come, but if she does, she’ll probably stick to herself and continue her pattern of quietly not causing confrontation. Plus you know that you did the right thing. If you don’t invite her, you’ve insulted not only her but your nephew as well. Now most likely none of them will come and you were the one in the wrong. When a couple live together, you invite both or neither. And if her kids live with them, that means they see themselves as a family so if you’re inviting his child, it would be pretty awful to not invite hers. There’s no law saying you have to, but there will be consequences. If you want any chance of having a relationship with your nephew or his daughter, their new family comes with the package.

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