Post # 1
Our closest friends told us last night that they are expecting a baby. I had my suspicions already because my friend usually has a couple of drinks at the weekend, and for the last two weeks she hadn’t, but she was still smoking so I wasn’t sure. When they announced it, my Darling Husband was kind of shocked and said “but we just saw you with a cigarette?” and my friend’s answer was that she was supposed to stop but it was “really hard, especially at the weekend.”
Now normally I try not to judge other people’s decisions, but this makes me angry – we’ve been trying for a baby for quite a while now and would do anything to get pregnant and have a healthy baby, she miscarried before Christmas and is trying not to get too excited in case it happens again, but yet she continues to smoke, which has proven negative effects on a baby. I have never smoked and I imagine it’s not easy to stop, but wouldn’t you be willing to do anything to keep your child as safe as possible? I know that if and when I fall pregnant, I’ll give up all the stuff I have to to do the best for my baby.
I haven’t said anything to my friend but I just wanted to vent and see how other people feel about this? Did you smoke whilst pregnant? WOuld you judge someone who did? And would you say something, or mind your own business?
Post # 2
Yep I’ll admit it. I’d judge all day. I wouldn’t say anything to her though unless we were very close. I’m sure it’s very difficult to quit cold turkey especially if she’s a heavy smoker, but I couldn’t help but judge seeing as how terrible it is not just for the baby but for her as well.
Post # 3
Honestly, I think smoking is gross in general so when I see a pregnant woman smoking I definitely judge.
Post # 4
If you have never tried to quit smaking then you have no business judging anyone who tries and fails. And if you’ve quit smoking, then don’t be so holier- than-thou. Yes, everyone knows that pregnant women should not smoke but that doesn’t give anyone a right to get all sanctimonious over it.
Post # 5
Yes. My mum’s friend smoked throughout all her three pregnancies and my friend and her siblings had all sort of things wrong with them, like having a bone dislocated while doing a backstroke or getting a fracture for doing normal stuff every couple of months, and I would not wish that on anyone. You should tell her off as a friend, and hopefully she takes your advice.
Post # 6
Yes I would. Yes I do. Some things are deserving of judgement.
Post # 7
I’d mostly feel sad that she’s so addicted, she can’t even stop smoking during her pregnancy.
Post # 8
With everything we now know about smoking and what it does to our bodies, there is no excuse.
Post # 9
What is so sanctimonious about judging someone for endangering the health of a baby?
Post # 10
Yes I would judge. Smoking to me is gross as is on a daily basis and while I completely understand how hard it is to quit (saw my uncle go through it), it’s different when you chose to create a life in you that you are now 100% responsible for. If it were just her, fine go mess up your own health but to potentially do that an innocent child is just irresponsible to say the least. I wouldn’t say anything unless you are THAT close that you can because from the post, she seems to know the consequences but just can’t stop.
Post # 11
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
I wouldn’t say anything to the mother (I know she already knows it’s harmful), but I’d be judging up a storm to myself.
Post # 13
Yes I judge, but I judge all smokers. It’s a disgusting unhealthy habit.
I would say something to a family member. I don’t have friends that are smokers (and won’t ever be friends with someone that smokes).
Disclaimer: I smoked for 10 years (mostly teen years). I have been a non smoker for 8 years now.
Post # 14
My mom smoked through pregnancies with all 5 of us kids…….
My sister smoked through her 2 pregnancies (in addition to drinking mountain dew and many coffee drinks). She’s a nurse and knows better but her excuse was our mom did and we were fine (umm…maybe they were but I ended up w/ terrible allergies and respiratory issues all through growing up).
She tried to cut back and I guess her dr said it would be worse to stop because of withdrawl.
Our SIL was furious because she had been tring to pregnant too and then my sister wasn’t even trying, did not want a 2nd one. She couldn’t be around her…………(& sil used to smoke socially but would never when pregnant)
Any my sister has several health conditions…ugh…so yea. It sucks
Post # 15
Yes, I’m afraid so. I wouldn’t say anything though.