(Closed) Would you judge a pregnant lady for smoking?

posted 4 years ago in Pregnancy
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  • Post # 61
    Member
    881 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2006

    maymrswinks:  

    Abortion has nothing to do with smoking while pregnant.

    I don’t understand why those topics are linked in your mind. 

     

    Post # 62
    Member
    4038 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    Sorry but yes, I would judge. I was addicted to smoking for over 10 years. i quit cold turkey and not because I was pregnant. its not easy at all don’t get me wrong but it is doable..

    Post # 63
    Member
    2251 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    She is a moron,  yeah,  I would judge. Right in her face! 

    Post # 64
    Member
    337 posts
    Helper bee

    I am pregnant and I am 42 yrs old, smoked for the past 20 yrs. As soon as I found out that I was pregnant  at 4 weeks (a surprise but still very loved) I smoked one final cigarette and immediately quit. I even threw away a full unopened pack of cigs. I then went to the store and bought bags and bags of hard candies and twizzlers just to help with cravings. I STILL want a cigarette and I STILL get cravings at 13 weeks, and it is especially difficult when I see my husband walk outside to have one – but I haven’t caved. So YES… You can d*mn sure bet that I would judge the hell out of any pregnant woman that I see smoking. And if that makes me “holier than thou” because I forced myself to quit and they didn’t then so be it. 

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by  beatlesluvr.
    Post # 65
    Member
    23 posts
    Newbee

    maymrswinks:  I was wondering the same thing. I mean isnt it just a bunch of cells at that point?

    Post # 66
    Member
    1740 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    +1 on the yes, I would (and do) judge a pregnant smoker, but no, I wouldn’t say anything because she clearly knows the risks.  I would, however, have a hard time being around her while she was smoking and pregnant — I wouldn’t end the friendship, but I probably wouldn’t spend a lot of time with her either.  It would just be too hard to watch, and I really don’t like judging people, even if I think they “deserve” it.  I would also have a hard time listening to her vent about how hard it is on her family that her newborn is in the NICU and/or has a lot of health problems.

    I have a family member that smoked like a chimney while pregnant just a couple of years ago.  I think I did say something to her once or twice, but of course it was a waste of breath.  She has a few pscyhological problems as it is — ADHD, depression, and anxiety (her mother didn’t smoke while pregnant, but her father smokes, FWIW)  — although she’s generally pretty functional in everyday life.  But apparently quitting smoking was just too hard even though she was pregnant.  But that didn’t stop me from judging her.  And of course her son was premature, he was in the NICO, and he continues to be more suseptible to colds and ear infections than other kids in our family.  I guess I’m not sure if his odds of having ADHD increase with the prenatal smoking, but it runs in our family regardless — my daughter and two nephews all have it pretty bad, and neither my sisters nor I smoke while pregnant.  

     

    Post # 67
    Member
    3327 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    LaPetiote:  even as a smoker yes I would and do judge pregnant smokers. There are all sorts of things out now a days to help quit. Electronic cigarette , patches, sweets , tablets and counselling.

    I agree I would try my best to give up smoking, drinking, eating fast food and anything I needed to keep my baby safe if I was to ever get pregnant.

    Post # 68
    Member
    3611 posts
    Sugar bee

    Yes, I’d internally judge. It’s one thing to trash your own body, but to endanger the health of your unborn baby? That’s horrid. And yeah, it’s entirely possible to quit smoking cold turkey when there’s a baby involved — not saying it’s easy, but it’s possible. My dad used to be a smoker back in the ’80s, and when he found out my mom was pregnant with my older brother, he tossed his cigarettes in the trash because he didn’t want to expose her to cigarette smoke and never looked back.

    Post # 69
    Member
    9130 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    Horseradish:  seriously? Give the contrarian thing a rest for a minute. Yes people have the right to judge someone smoking, just like one has the right to judge people who drink and drive or commit child abuse or any number of truly unacceptable behaviors. 

    Heroin and meth hard to quit too, but we probably shouldn’t turn a blind eye to pregnant women who shoot up. 

    Post # 70
    Member
    235 posts
    Helper bee

    I would also mention SIDS rates go up SIGNIFICANTLY when one or more parents smokes in the house… So, another HUGE reason to quit smoking. 

    Be kind. Offer a spa date or something and support if and when you say anything… 

    Post # 71
    Member
    1092 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I believe smoking is such a selfish habit. When a smoker lights one up, anyone around them is FORCED to join in. I can not stomach the smell of a cigarette and if it was possible I would love to see an invention for smokers the keeps the smoke contained in a plastic bubble so only they can breathe it in. I get that smoking is an addiction but it’s not like that wasn’t common knowledge before they started. I’m not going to try and smoke crack just because I’m curious. I’ve seen horrible pictures of what an addiction like that does.

    If this woman is a close friend of you and your husband I would risk the friendship and say something. I’d put it in the most non confrontational way I could.

    Post # 72
    Member
    1119 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    I would only because my grandma quit with no help just will power when she was pregnant. I know it’s an addiction but it just breaks my heart that the addiction is that bad that the person will put the child at risk. My grandpa was a smoker and died from lung cancer and to watch him waste away to basically nothing it just makes me hate cigarettes!

    Post # 73
    Member
    1305 posts
    Bumble bee

     

    If I had a friend like that, I would have trouble hanging out with her, TBH. Watching her smoke, knowingly putting her baby at risk….nope nope nope.

    Post # 74
    Member
    497 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Since she already knows it’s wrong, and you seem to really care about her and the baby, I would try to share my concern with her in a supportive way. Maybe just open up a conversation, empathasize that it must be hard to quit, and ask how you could support her with quitting. While you can’t control if she quits or not, I think you would be more likely to get a positive response that way. Coming from a place of judgment would probably just make her defensive.

    Post # 75
    Member
    276 posts
    Helper bee

    I judge anyone that smokes. I’d be supportive if she was trying to quit by cutting down thPugh. I’ve never been addicted so I’m not going to say she should just quit cold turkey because I’m sure it’s not that easy.

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