(Closed) Would you judge a pregnant lady for smoking?

posted 4 years ago in Pregnancy
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  • Post # 76
    Member
    1888 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I want to add that I wouldn’t judge a woman for having a cup of coffee or a glass of wine or any of the other “risky” behaviors that have been somewhat debunked or are in a gray area where it’s up to the mother to determine with her doctor what’s best. Smoking is not in a gray area and I think we all know that.

    Post # 77
    Member
    329 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Yes, I work directly with high risk pregnant mothers. It is so hard to have one patient come in who has been trying to conceive for 8 years and is now having a miscarriage and then have another patient come in who is smoking and endangering her unborn child. I would never outright say anything but I definitely do judge them in my mind. 

    Post # 78
    Member
    1082 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Yes, I would hardcore judge a pregnant woman smoking. I hate to be judgemental, but when someone is knowingly putting an innocent baby at risk, it’s hard not to. Actually it’s hard not to judge smokers in general, because in my head it’s like “why, just why?” But at least they’re only hurting themselves. 

    I was just at a funeral a couple weeks ago for a lung cancer victim. Much of her family was outside smoking as I walked in. Sad. 

    Post # 79
    Member
    108 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    I’m a smoker myself and I understand how hard it can be to quit- however I certainly do judge people who continue to do so whilst pregnant. Both my mum and sister quit during all their pregnancies (both who had been smoking for a very long time) Yes they struggled and it was hard to do, but they knew that it was the best thing for their children. 
    Just to be clear, we aren’t a family of smokers aha. My other two sisters have never touched a cigarette in their lives. 

    Post # 80
    Member
    1729 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Yes, I would judge. If it was my friend, I’d try to be sympathetic yet encourage her to consult with her doctor and find a way to quit as soon as possible. 

    I was a light to medium smoker for a total of about 10 years. I quit smoking immediately when I found out I was pregnant. Years later, I began smoking again for a few years, then quit for good. I realize that quitting smoking is hard, I’ve been there, but parents owe it to their child to quit. 

    Post # 81
    Member
    4548 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    As a former 50 a day smoker, yes, I would judge the hell out of your friend.

    I also want to add that my 66 year old mother has smoked for 51 years of her life, but even back in the 60’s and 70’s  (1968- 78) knew better than to smoke when pregnant with her children.

    Post # 82
    Member
    2553 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I judge smokers all the live-long day, because I’m so freaking jealous of them. I LOVE smoking, it’s fabulous. If an asteroid was heading to destroy earth the only silver lining would be that I could hit up the drug store and smoke all the cigarettes. But I’m not an idiot and I don’t want to die before my time so sadly, no smoking for me.

    Post # 83
    Member
    640 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Yes. I had a high risk pregnancy (LO had IUGR) & I was questioned if I smoked when they first determined I was high risk (apparently it increases the risk for IUGR quite a bit). Putting your baby at risk is unacceptable. 

    Post # 84
    Member
    672 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    WestCoastV:  Thank you for your reply, although you did seem to make assumptions about my beliefs based on my merely posing the question (requesting I not reply with anti-abortion, pseudo-science, etc.) when in fact, I too am pro-choice.

    And I would also judge a woman (reluctantly) for smoking during pregnancy but I believe that this is pretty hypocritical and I am willing to admit my own hypocrisy. I understand and somewhat agree with what you were saying about the difference between terminating a pregnancy and smoking while planning to carry to term but in my mind, choosing to kill your unborn baby (which I’m sorry, I don’t care what anyone says, “terminating a pregnancy” is in fact killing your potential child, let’s call a spade a spade) is just as worthy of judgment as a woman who chooses to smoke while pregnant. But most of us pro-choice women will not judge a woman for an abortion, but will get on a soapbox about a woman smoking…

    BUT I believe all women should have the right to make whatever choices they choose to make, even if they may be deemed “bad” choices.

    I only posed the question because I think a lot of women are hypocrits when it comes to other womens’ choices and are not willing to simply admit it. I feel like if we’re truly supportive of people making their own choices, we should try our best to not be judgmental and work to be more understanding and supportive which actually helps people. Judgment is a rather counterintuitive response.

    Post # 85
    Member
    3332 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    100% would judge.

    Post # 86
    Member
    532 posts
    Busy bee

    I would definitely judge. There’s a defenceless child in there relying on you to give them the best of everything to help them grow and to nourish them. 

    I dont know if I’d say something because I’m kind of awkward like that, but I’d like to think if it was a friend I would try and encourage them to stop. 

    I did use to smoke socially, quitting wasn’t difficult for me but I’m not saying it should be like that for everyone. However, i can’t imagine having more motivation to quit than bringing a little human in to the world…

    Post # 87
    Member
    3686 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Yup, I’d judge the heck out of her.  Especially since I’m currently pregnant.  

    Post # 88
    Member
    1146 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    maymrswinks:  sorry, no, the two are not even remotely similar. I won’t go into the “when is a fetus a person” thing, because it’s not even relevant to the argument.

    When a woman (safely) aborts, she prevents a new life from potentially being born someday down the road. That’s the extent of it. She moves on without any impact to her health and a hypothetical being that never had consciousness does not go on to suffer from health complications for years. 

    When a woman smokes, she endangers herself, her future (capable of much pain and suffering) child, and anyone else who has the misfortune of having to be in her vicinity while she’s spewing poison into the air supply. She is likely setting herself, her future child, and those around her up for life altering health issues or even premature death. 

    Stopping the development of cells while they are still unable to register pain and have no self awareness, at no other health related cost to herself or any other functioning humans is no where near the same.

    And that’s why I have zero judgment for what a woman decides to do with early stage developing cells in her own body, but will judge the hell out of a woman who subjects herself, future child, and those around her to gag worthy stench and widely established health risks. Smokers arent just “making their own choices.” They make the choice for others when they decide to introduce that risk into the air and it blows my mind that it’s even still legal at all. 

    Post # 89
    Hostess
    3160 posts
    Sugar bee

    I knew a girl who smoked all throughout her pregnancy. I met her when she was probably 8 months along, and was hugely pregnant, and smoking. I was very shocked, and yes, I judged her. I also felt very sad for her unborn child, who had no choice in it.

    I judge mothers who do other drugs while pregnant, too. 

    Post # 90
    Member
    595 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    Yes, I would judge a pregnant woman for smoking, however I also judge anyone who smokes. It’s disgusting and in my eyes, shows a blatant disregard of the people around you and makes you look completely uneducated.

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