(Closed) Would you judge a pregnant lady for smoking?

posted 4 years ago in Pregnancy
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  • Post # 91
    Member
    7899 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I would judge, but I wouldn’t be too pushy about it with a friend or acquaintance. I’m sure she’ll get an earful from her doctor. 

    Post # 92
    Member
    3756 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

    LaPetiote:  Someone that I used to work with was a longtime smoker and tried quitting when she got pregnant but we had seen her sneak out of the office for smoke breaks here and there. Her baby came months early and had to stay in the hospital for a while and on oxygen when they first took him home. 

    When we found out she had gone into labor so early, we didn’t think the baby would make it. Thankfully, he’s a year old now and doing well, but things could have easily gone left. I understand addictions are hard to break, but baby’s health should come first. 

    Post # 93
    Member
    327 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    Yep. That is so disgusting and pathetic. I pray I never see a pregnant woman smoking in public because I would NOT hide my feelings. Obviously, I’m not going to walk up to her and yell but my face would say it all. 

    Post # 94
    Member
    374 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I would be and have been judgemental. Smoking is just BAD!! period. No two ways around it. and its even worse when it involves an unborn child. I am a nurse and have seen some seriously ill babies delivered c-section who had healthy moms who didnt smoke and some really seriously ill babies born to mothers who did smoke. its just not the way to start out a little life. Good for your husband for calling her out.

    Post # 95
    Member
    3875 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    LaPetiote:  Yes. I definitely judge. I find smoking in general disgusting, but when a pregnant woman does it I just find it so much more disgusting. Same as I would judge someone who was drinking while pregnant or doing drugs while pregnant–it’s harmful to the baby and there’s truly no excuse for it. 

    An old employee of mine smoked throughout her pregnancy and I found it utterly appalling. I’m not going to lie–I judged her hard and she knew it. I will struggle to get pregnant so when I see woman who are pregnant continuing to partake in activities that can cause long lasting and direct harm to their babies…it kind of sucks. 

    Post # 96
    Member
    3040 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    Eh, I try not to judge. That said, I still do in cases because, you know, we’re human and difference in views is bound to happen. So, yes, I would side eye her smoking but I wouldn’t say anything to her. Not my place. I also am not going to put myself in her shoes for how she should be able to easily stop for her baby because I do not know what it’s like to be addicted to smoking. However, I would hope she would seek out medical professionals if she couldn’t. Beyond that and hoping her baby comes out healthy, it wouldn’t weigh on my mind as it’s not within my control.

    Post # 97
    Member
    492 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    Personally, I believe if a person lacks the either the discipline to quit on their own, or the humbleness and basic responsibility to seek professional help to quit if they are unable to on their own, then they lack two key crucial elements of parenting.

    Post # 98
    Member
    9033 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I will admit that I have a bias since I have cancer but hell yes I judge all smokers but especially those that willfully endanger the health and wellbeing of others with their smoking.  Sorry not sorry.

    Pregnant smokers make me as angry as seeing someone who has just been in the clinic having chemo with me go outside and light up (and you would be surprised how often that happens). 

    Post # 99
    Member
    424 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I feel angry reading this post. Those people should not have babies. 

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by  goldfish2308.
    Post # 100
    Member
    2697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    LaPetiote:  Honestly I would probably judge, but I would never say anything. It really depends on how much she smokes. I used to smoke socially and quit when I found out I was pregnant, but I also recognize that not everyone can quit.

    My mom smoked heavily with me and I’m fine. My gramma smoked heavily with all 5 of her children and they’re fine. You can have a healthy baby while being a smoker.

    Post # 101
    Member
    901 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    j_jaye:  Exactly! Just smoking PERIOD effects EVERYONE around you, even strangers! It’s soooo bad for EVERYONE’s health. Smelling cigarette smoke makes me want to PUKE. It’s so unfair people can just impose cigarette smoke (and everything that goes with it including cancer) onto other people. And yes, I have an aquaintance who has had cancer multiple times but still smokes all the time. >.>

    So yeah. When you add someone who is pregnant into that mix, I’m sorry, judge judge judgment day. 

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by  letterstolove.
    Post # 102
    Member
    391 posts
    Helper bee

    I would totally judge!  If you are TTC (mother or father because it hurts quality of sperm as well) you should be quitting or quit smoking and drinking so you are ready for a smoke and alcohol free pregnancy.  I even judge parents who smoke around their children because its so bad for the child who is growing up to breathe that in.

    Parents have to give up many things for the benefit of their children and smoking it just one of them.  Granted, I probably would be silently judging unless I was super close to the person.

     

    Post # 103
    Member
    2166 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    As someone that has had 3 family members die from lung cancer due to 40+ years of smoking, I judge everyone that smokes. So I wouldn’t limit it to just a pregnant woman.

    Post # 104
    Member
    2690 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I would judge with ever fiber in my being…

    Ive never been preggo but your babies health should come before almost everything in life. I’m going to have a rude awakening when I do get preggo someday because I have a love affair with cheeseburgers. It’s all about sacrifice right?

    Post # 105
    Member
    245 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I would, totally. Can’t help it. But, my mind also takes me to a place where I try to understand people. She’s suffered one loss already, and she’s an addict (cigarettes). Addicts crave self-medicating behavior. It helps them feel less like they’re drowning.

    It’s a crappy coping mechanism, but it’s still a coping mechanism. Maybe it’s even harder for her to quit because she’s afraid of losing the baby. She clearly indicated she knows how bad it is, so rather than judge her or rag on her, I’d bring her some cessation material & info on how to quit and where to get support. 

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by  creativebee.

    The topic ‘Would you judge a pregnant lady for smoking?’ is closed to new replies.

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