(Closed) Would you lay the bridal smackdown?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
7039 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Why are you renting a venue for a shower? Can’t you just have it at someone’s house? I’d be pretty upset if I were asked to rent a venue for a shower – i’ve never seen that done, and it’s not something I would have budgeted for. Them pulling away from the situation may be their passive aggressive way of sending that message.

Post # 5
1875 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would stay out of it.  Your BMs don’t have to help with the shower if they don’t want to or can’t.  Did your sister ask if they could contribute and if so, how much?  If she didn’t, then she can’t really expect them to pay.

Post # 6
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I suppose if your Maid/Matron of Honor is not the type of person who can “confront” people and talk over difficult subjects with people, and you are, then yes you may have to step in and talk to your ‘maids. But ask your Maid/Matron of Honor first what she wants to do, and she wants your help.

Post # 7
4858 posts
Honey bee

I don’t think that renting out the space was such a big deal, but I’m not sure if she can expect the other girls to contribute unless they already agreed to before the place was booked. :S  Is there any way your mom could help out (or even you could offer to help)?

I also wouldn’t write the email.  The best thing I can think of is for your sister to write to them or talk to them herself.  I know the Maid/Matron of Honor has a lot of responsibilities, but the BMs pretty much just have to show up on the big day at the right time in the right dress, IMO.  It’s great when they’re helpful, but I wouldn’t expect too much.

Post # 9
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think it is good you are staying out of it. One concern I have is your sister communicates with them every week? I would personally be overwhelmed by that if I was a bridesmaid. 

Post # 10
1484 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@crayfish:  Renting a venue for a shower is often the only option. I live in Maryland in an apartment too small to host anything, all three of my MOH/bms now live out of state. My parents live in Florida. FI’s parents are renovating their house for sale and rescinded their offer to host it, my MOH’s parents are the only ones in state and they live 1.5 hours from the guests, oh and all of my friends live in small townhouses or apartments in Baltimore with no space and no parking. 

OP says the girl knew about the rental cost going in. Op, I’m glad you’re staying out if it. I also agree with pp who said once a week is too damn much to be contacting everyone. My girls and I have a private Facebook event set up for us to share little passing thoughts. That would be a better place for weekly updates. I can understand a few calls a week of the shower, but what else is there to say?

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