(Closed) Would you leave your SO if he or she cheated on you?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Yep. 100%. 

Regardless if it’s emotional, physical, one time, or for a long time – trust is broken and I’m doneski. 

Post # 3
Member
2868 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

In a freaking heartbeat. No questions asked. If you are sticking your ding a ling into someone’s hole that isn’t mine, peace out loser. I have more respect for myself then that.

Post # 4
Member
299 posts
Helper bee

Yes. I know myself and it’s not something I can get past, but I also don’t want to be in a relationship where I would constantly throw it in my partner’s face. Been down that road, and it sucked. No thanks.

Post # 5
Member
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I count anything more than platonic as cheating – kissing, emotional attachment, anything like that. I would hope I’d leave, honestly I’ve been questioning myself lately, reading so many sad posts about cheaters, and wondering if I really could. I’d like to think I’d leave 100% – if anything I know that I would never truly recover from it and eventually would have to leave.

Post # 6
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I’d be gone without another thought. I’d never trust them again. Ever. And I’m not going to be in a relationship where I don’t trust the person I’m with. I’ll be okay on my own and I’ll find love again. It would take some time and healing, but I have no doubt that I’d be better off.

Post # 7
Member
892 posts
Busy bee

we have already talked about it and yes, probably. we both feel like it would be impossible to come back from. but it’s really hard to imagine what we’d really do because we’ve never been in that situation before. 

Post # 8
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

absolutely would leave, at this point, if he cheated.

Providing we could act civil and not be at each other’s throats, I’m not above staying in the same house for the sake of children. But all romantic love/feelings would be gone and we would no longer be intimate. At that point we’d be living together just for the kids.

Cheating is a deal breaker for me but cheating on me =/= cheating on the kids and I’ll always put them above myself. But obviously things would get hairy with dating or whatever so in general I’ll just say yeah, I’d leave.

Post # 9
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

Yes.  My trust would be lost and even with therapy and counseling I doubt that it would ever come back fully again.  I would not want to stay in a relationship where I am always wondering if something may be going on.

Post # 10
Member
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think a person truly doesn’t know until they’ve been put in that position. I always thought I would. Then my ex husband cheated. We had 15 years invested, and I felt like I had to go to counseling (went alone and as a couple for a year and a half) and try so that I could say I did everything I could. However, I could never really recover from the betrayal and loss of trust. It turned me into a person I didn’t like being – like I felt the need to always check to make sure he was where he was, check phone bills, etc. I hated feeling like that. Plus, he still had questionable friendships. So we divorced. 

Now, with my current husband, yes, I’d leave. I wouldn’t put myself through all of that again. Been there, done that.

Post # 11
Member
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
breatheandrelax:  I’d like to say I’d stay and try to work it out. But once my trust is broken (especially with something like cheating), the person has about a snowballs chance in hell of repairing it. 

Post # 12
Member
1270 posts
Bumble bee

I think it would depend on the situation. If my SO was extremely drunk or depressed and did something I consider cheating, I may be able to forgive him with time, therapy and some expensive grovelling (I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii…jk). However, he would have to come clean about it himself, if he hid it from me and I found out some other way, there would be no chance for reconciliation. I don’t deal with liars or those who lie by omission, and I only give second chances once.

Otherwise, I probably would leave as I would have lost my trust. If we were married I would be devastated by the lack of respect he had for our vows, which I take extremely seriously. I would lose respect for myself if I stayed in that situation with an unfaithful man.

Post # 13
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Yep.  Doesn’t matter what type of cheating.  Cheating is cheating.  Trust would be broken and I’d be outta there pronto.

Post # 15
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I’m going to be the unpopular opinion here and agree that I would need to know all the factors. If this was way later into my marriage and I had kids, we were still in love but had issues and he did that only once… call me old fashioned but I would try therapy, marriage counselling and speak to our pastor. I would try everything to try and save my marriage first, figure out if he did that because of anything I have been not giving him etc. If after trying to save it and it failed, I would come to terms with that. But not without trying… 

Obviously if he was having an affair and this had been going on a long time behind my back, I would be less inclined to want to stay in the marriage. I would probably opt for divorce right away.

Like OP said though.. Sometimes its not so black and white.

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