- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
First of all Darling Husband and I are stationed in Europe. He came home last night and told me about a coworker “A” who just took a trip to Amsterdam and other cities. “A” told him it was the best trip ever…mainly b/c of strippers. Now when I met “A” last year he was married. I asked Darling Husband if “A” went with his wife and he said “nope, they are divorced or separated not sure which”. Fine.
Then Darling Husband proceeds to tell me that “A” and a couple of other guys are planning another trip to Amsterdam and want him to go with them…without me. Now one of the guys “B” is married with a kid and another due in June. The trip is planned for next month. I told him I can’t believe that B’s wife will let him go so close to her due date and he said “I think she is…she is cool like that”.
So we got into this heated discussion about separate trips. He said another coworker who is married with kids said time apart is a necessity. OK, I get it…but we live overseas, I can’t get a job b/c of the language barrier, we have no kids, can’t have pets at our place so I’m alone all day long. I understand needing time apart…usually he’s the one who won’t go anywhere w/o me. And usually it’s because of our “situation” but not this time.
He said there’s no reason for me not to trust him. He’s been there before with me, another time with an ex, and another time with a friend. With the friend, Darling Husband did engage in talking to a prostitute and felt her up but said he couldn’t go through with the Dirty Delete.
I told him I wasn’t comfortable with him going on a “guys” weekend to someplace like that. I said well if I had a single Girlfriend, would you let me go to the beach with her? He said NO, it’s too dangerous for women to travel alone.
So now we aren’t talking…he thinks I am being “unreasonable” for not allowing him much needed “guy” time. We’ve been married 5 months and I get him wanting to hang out with “friends” but CRAP, I’m going to be home for a few days by myself. It just doesn’t seem fair and it’s making me sick to my stomach.
Would you allow your Darling Husband to do this? How should I approach this situation? He keeps saying he thought I was “cool” and that I wouldn’t see this trip as a problem. He also mentioned not wanting to tell these guys he can’t b/c they will think he is on a short leash.
Thanks for any advice….